Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

The doctor who avoids answering your questions

Christopher Johnson, MD
Physician
February 3, 2020
277 Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

Most of us are, to some degree, procrastinators. We avoid or postpone doing unpleasant things. In this sense, physicians who are avoiders are no different from anyone else. For a doctor, however, avoiding things often leads to poor, or at least less than frank, communication with parents.

One kind of avoidance behavior is when the doctor avoids answering your questions. These doctors do not behave this way because they are poor listeners; they just find it uncomfortable to answer your questions. Often this doctor takes the oblique approach of not quite answering the question you asked, and instead rephrasing it into a question he would rather answer. He tends to talk around issues, especially those that are part of serious, unpleasant, or intractable medical problems. He also tends to use euphemisms for unpleasant things, commonly retreating into medical jargon because the medical language seems more sanitized and neutral.

I have considerable professional experience with avoiders because my own subspecialty of critical care often presents parents and physicians with difficult choices, situations in which there are sometimes no good options, just less bad ones. Many times I have spoken with parents who, after an interview with a physician who is an avoider, must ask me what the doctor really meant to say. And that is the key to the avoiding-type of physician: he probably thinks he is doing what is best by filtering what he says and not speaking directly, but parents invariably want their questions answered as directly as possible. If you find yourself in an interview with a doctor like this, you really have no option except to press him for an explicit answer to the question you actually asked, not the one he chose to answer.

There is another variety of the avoiding physician encountered by parents whose child has ongoing medical problems. This is the doctor who just plain avoids them and their child. These are doctors who only reluctantly return your telephone calls or, if your child is admitted to the hospital, always seem to miss you when they come around to see your child in her room. This seems like odd behavior for a physician, but it is not rare. The reason for it is that the doctor procrastinates or even avoids conversations that he believes, for any number of reasons, will be difficult or uncomfortable either for you or for him. Of course, that is all the more reason to have the discussion. Nothing interferes more with a conversation than one of the parties not showing up to partake in it.

Christopher Johnson is a pediatric intensive care physician and author of Keeping Your Kids Out of the Emergency Room: A Guide to Childhood Injuries and Illnesses, Your Critically Ill Child: Life and Death Choices Parents Must Face, How to Talk to Your Child’s Doctor: A Handbook for Parents, and How Your Child Heals: An Inside Look At Common Childhood Ailments. He blogs at his self-titled site, Christopher Johnson, MD.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Improve mental health by improving how we finance health care

February 3, 2020 Kevin 3
…
Next

A doctor's foray into meditation

February 4, 2020 Kevin 1
…

Tagged as: Pediatrics

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Improve mental health by improving how we finance health care
Next Post >
A doctor's foray into meditation

More by Christopher Johnson, MD

  • The success of Australian firearms regulation: What it could mean for children

    Christopher Johnson, MD
  • Do protocols and pathways improve care?

    Christopher Johnson, MD
  • Why are so many community hospitals transferring children to larger facilities?

    Christopher Johnson, MD

Related Posts

  • Osler and the doctor-patient relationship

    Leonard Wang
  • Finding a new doctor is like dating

    R. Lynn Barnett
  • Doctor, how are you, really?

    Deborah Courtney
  • A physician’s addiction to social media

    Amanda Xi, MD
  • Be a human first and a doctor second

    Sarah Murad
  • Many questions remain about medical marijuana

    Steven Reznick, MD

More in Physician

  • The alarming epidemic of physician burnout and how we can combat it

    Tomi Mitchell, MD
  • A retired physician’s battle with moral injury

    Hayward Zwerling, MD
  • Unveiling the secrets to effective resuscitation and overcoming obstacles

    Deepak Gupta, MD
  • A tense family drama unfolds as a young daughter pursues unconventional career path

    Osmund Agbo, MD
  • Decoding the brain’s decision-making: insights for medical professions and strategies for success

    Harvey Castro, MD, MBA
  • Unmasking the truth: the shocking reality of the opioid epidemic and who’s really to blame

    Jay K. Joshi, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • A physician’s typical day, as envisioned by a non-clinician health care MBA: a satire

      Jennifer Lycette, MD | Physician
    • Is chaos in health care leading us towards socialized medicine? How physician burnout is a catalyst.

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • Revealing America’s expansion: the dark truth of Native American suffering and unjustified abuses

      Anonymous | Physician
    • The tragic story of Mr. G: a painful journey towards understanding suicide

      William Lynes, MD | Physician
    • The rising threat of lung cancer in Asian American female nonsmokers

      Alice S. Y. Lee, MD | Conditions
    • From Moscow Mule to the opioid crisis: Unveiling the tragic legacy and urgent solutions

      Osmund Agbo, MD | Meds
  • Past 6 Months

    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
    • An inspiring tribute to an exceptional radiologist who made a lasting impact

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Proactive risk management: a game-changer in preventing physician burnout

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The alarming epidemic of physician burnout and how we can combat it

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Physician
    • A retired physician’s battle with moral injury

      Hayward Zwerling, MD | Physician
    • Unveiling the secrets to effective resuscitation and overcoming obstacles

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Physician
    • Georgia’s new law promoting truth and transparency in health care credentials

      Carmen Kavali, MD | Policy
    • Physician employment contracts: the key to fighting burnout and improving working conditions [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • A tense family drama unfolds as a young daughter pursues unconventional career path

      Osmund Agbo, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • FDA Panel Endorses mAb to Prevent RSV in Infants
  • Novel LAA Closure Device 'Promising'
  • Acute GvHD Risk After Allo-HCT Higher With Some Antibiotics vs Others
  • TTFields Therapy Yields OS Improvement in Second-Line NSCLC
  • Mental Health Provider Disclosed Personal Patient Info in Google Reviews

Meeting Coverage

  • Novel LAA Closure Device 'Promising'
  • TTFields Therapy Yields OS Improvement in Second-Line NSCLC
  • Upper Airway Stimulation Device for OSA Holds Up in Real-World Analysis
  • Morning Naps in Elderly People May Reflect Dementia Risk
  • Extra Follow-Up Confirms Benefit of Nivolumab in Muscle-Invasive Bladder Cancer
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • A physician’s typical day, as envisioned by a non-clinician health care MBA: a satire

      Jennifer Lycette, MD | Physician
    • Is chaos in health care leading us towards socialized medicine? How physician burnout is a catalyst.

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • Revealing America’s expansion: the dark truth of Native American suffering and unjustified abuses

      Anonymous | Physician
    • The tragic story of Mr. G: a painful journey towards understanding suicide

      William Lynes, MD | Physician
    • The rising threat of lung cancer in Asian American female nonsmokers

      Alice S. Y. Lee, MD | Conditions
    • From Moscow Mule to the opioid crisis: Unveiling the tragic legacy and urgent solutions

      Osmund Agbo, MD | Meds
  • Past 6 Months

    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
    • An inspiring tribute to an exceptional radiologist who made a lasting impact

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Proactive risk management: a game-changer in preventing physician burnout

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The alarming epidemic of physician burnout and how we can combat it

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Physician
    • A retired physician’s battle with moral injury

      Hayward Zwerling, MD | Physician
    • Unveiling the secrets to effective resuscitation and overcoming obstacles

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Physician
    • Georgia’s new law promoting truth and transparency in health care credentials

      Carmen Kavali, MD | Policy
    • Physician employment contracts: the key to fighting burnout and improving working conditions [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • A tense family drama unfolds as a young daughter pursues unconventional career path

      Osmund Agbo, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...