It’s been five days since I’ve been able to sleep. My two-month-old daughter coos softly in her bassinet. My husband sleeps soundly next to me. But I lay awake, hijacked by thoughts that I am a bad mother, wife, and doctor. This unwanted torment consumed me. All I wanted was to remain still and make this stop.
I lay awake; time stands still.
I am swept by flash currents beyond my control.
I …
Starting a new job can be nerve-wracking and exciting. Along with negotiating salary and benefits, you should also ask about a few other factors to know what you are getting into. Here are eight questions to ask before you join a new medical practice.
1. Why are you hiring? Some practices are hiring because they are growing. Other practices are hiring because people are quitting. What is the case at this …
“I am so sorry …”
My apology diffused as I stood adjacent to the IV pole, triangulated between Ms. S, her husband, and her daughter. Ms. S, who was congenitally deaf and capable of lip-reading save for my N95, nevertheless immediately caught the sadness in my eyes. My pulse raced, and my heart sank as her face fell. She knew that her transplant – for which her family had paused their …
Most physicians choose medicine to care for others. The essential premise balances this selfless, optimistic objective that the physician is healthy and happy with enough knowledge, experience, and abundance to heal their patients.
Unfortunately, our health care system thwarts us at every turn, with continual devaluation and reduction in reimbursements, paralyzing insurance and government regulations, and demoralizing lack of control.
Ballooning student debt and declining reimbursements, and the perception of greater stability …
I wondered if this post needs a trigger warning. Maybe it does. I don’t know now. What feelings stir up inside us when we hear of a child’s death?
My first experience with a child dying in front of me was soon after medical school graduation. I was an inexperienced 24-year-old working in a government hospital in Bangalore. I don’t remember many details, but I remember his face and his father’s …
On June 4, 2022, CNN.com published an Opinion piece written by Carolyn Chen: “Why ‘do what you love’ is the worst graduation advice.” As a mother of a recent college graduate, with two others close behind, I read it to garner insights into which encouraging words to use with my own babies entering the adult workforce. The target audience is college graduates, narrowing the relevance to those privileged to …
Since writing a cathartic post about being burned out, I’ve received supportive messages as well as concerned calls from friends and former colleagues. Some were worried about my well-being. Others agreed with the sentiments.
One note in particular resonated. It named cognitive dissonance as part of the problem. This dissonance is pervasive in society. The gap between what we say we stand for and what we actually do …
When it comes to developing healthy habits, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. However, certain habits are particularly effective when working as a physician. These are what we refer to as high-performance habits.
Being a physician is one of the most challenging jobs out there. I know this because I am one. It takes many years of schooling to become a physician. But, it takes even more than that. It takes …
An excerpt from Cutthroat: A Surgeon’s Fight against Big Government, Corrupt Businessmen, and a Broken Healthcare System.
The media, the business world, insurance companies, and even the government have done an amazing job of portraying doctors as the culprits for the exorbitant costs of health care.
They’ve been able to …
So-called “evidence-based guidelines” are slowly destroying the practice of medicine, and companies that develop these proprietary guidelines are guilty of conspiring with payers to deny individuals necessary medical treatment.
Guideline developers, health plans, and their benefit managers contend that utilization management (UM) programs based on medically proven guidelines will reduce unwarranted clinical practice variation and improve care quality and cost. But real-world evidence paints an entirely different picture. A recent Read more…
The silence felt heavy on the other end of the phone line. I waited a few seconds, and it dawned on me: He wasn’t ready. This moment, each in our own worlds was a defining point in our journey.
Twenty seconds earlier, I had just shared the following with him, “We are ready for hospice.” But he clearly wasn’t. Or maybe he was and just couldn’t verbalize it. He paused after …
At age 33, I got my first job as an outpatient pediatric attending. With great pay, nice coworkers, and exceedingly better hours than in training, to everyone around me, I had finally “landed.” Soon after I began working, however, I woke up with trepidation every morning, forcing myself to get out of bed.
Why wasn’t I relishing the fruits of my labors? After all this time, I no longer trailed the …
I recently came across a number for the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline. It took me back to my first pregnancy and postpartum experience.
I belong to a traditional family where there is an expectation of bearing a child after a year of marriage. No one prepares the couple for it. No one talks about any challenges during pregnancy and after the child is born.
It was no different …
Day 1. I spent Thursday, my day off, golfing. Friday, I was scheduled to see patients and do surgery on the non-English-speaking mother of a patient I delivered a long time ago (who I didn’t really remember). She remembered me, though, and brought her mother from an hour away to see me. But as I coughed and felt slightly feverish, I realized that I had not felt well …
A guest column by the American Society of Anesthesiologists, exclusive to KevinMD.
“I am so ashamed. I am truly sorry to anyone I hurt or offended.”
These were the first words Beverly said when I met her in the preoperative holding area before surgery. She was referring to her recent behavior during an episode of …
Work dread. Even if you didn’t know it had a name, you know the feeling. It is that sensation in the pit of your stomach when you realize that the start of your workday or workweek is fast approaching, and you don’t want it to come. Sometimes it begins on Sunday afternoon when you want to be enjoying time with your family. Other times, you might find yourself sitting in …
Three years ago, I was a physician in the “traditional” medical system seeing 25 to 28 patients every day. I spent hours writing notes to provide proper documentation for the correct billing code. Often, my time was spent calling insurance companies to justify the appropriateness of my medical care. More and more hours were spent on completing tasks for insurance companies rather than patient care. Like many of my colleagues, …
Do you feel EMR charting is a burden? Do you struggle to complete your notes on time? If you answered yes to one of those, you’re not alone!
Doctors spend, on average, 16 minutes in their EMR for each outpatient encounter. This represents several hours of your time each week! Writing comprehensive notes is a requirement in our practice for …
I always got my contacts from Costco, and it constantly felt like a chore. Like any child made to go on errands with their parents, Costco was my eye-rolling-moan-inducing trip.
I realized my eyes were inadequate in third grade while reciting the Hail Mary. I was a little distracted as my blue and green plaid skirt was all twisted and the scratchy green sweater vest a little too tight. Despite years …
Primary care is foundational to the U.S. health system, but not enough students are entering the field. Whether students are interested in medicine, nursing, social work or pharmacy — it is critical that we share the exciting aspects of primary care and then adequately prepare them to work in the field. High loan burden and low pay relative to other potential jobs and specialties and training within a culture that …
Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.
