Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

4 mistakes parents make in the pediatrician’s office

Claire McCarthy, MD
Physician
January 10, 2016
685 Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

I love being a pediatrician; there’s nothing I would rather do. But sometimes I get frustrated by things that parents do — or don’t do.

I’m not talking about things like being late (hey, I run late, it would be unfair to complain), or getting upset with the staff about waiting (hey, I’m going as fast as I can and what if it were your kid who needed more time?), or not holding their kid still while I examine him (I understand that some parents are better at that than others), or stuff like that. That comes with the territory.

I’m talking about stuff that makes it harder for me to give good care.

Here are the four mistakes many parents make that I wish they wouldn’t:

1. They don’t come prepared. I love it when parents come to check-ups with their list of things to talk about, or when they come to sick visits knowing which medicines have been given, how many times the child has thrown up or when, exactly, the headaches started. You have no idea how helpful this is — and how much it helps me zero in on exactly what I need to ask, say and do to help the child and the family.

Too often, parents just, well, show up with their kid and wing it. Which I get, actually. You have a check-up, or your kid is sick, so you come to the doctor because that’s what you do in those situations. However, we aren’t mind readers, and we have a limited amount of time. It’s frustrating when people don’t have the information I need, or to be heading out the door of the exam room when the parent remembers the three things they really want to talk about.

So … keep a list somewhere of things you want to talk about at a check-up, and then bring it with you (lots of parents keep a list on their phone). if your child is sick, please be ready with all the details (especially important if someone else cares for your child while you work), including temperatures and medications (I love it when people bring medications with them). If you are planning to bring your child to the doctor for something that has been going on for a while, like headaches or stomachaches, start keeping a diary of symptoms. You may think you’ll remember everything, but most parents don’t (most people don’t).

And, if you send your child with a babysitter or with a relative who doesn’t live with you, please make sure they are fully informed (in my experience, they rarely are). If you can be available by phone to answer questions, even better.

2. They are less than honest. I totally get that it’s embarrassing to tell the doctor that your kid eats vegetables once a week (or never), watches TV all day or is the bully of the classroom. It’s also no fun to admit that you often forget to give the asthma medicine or that you’ve waved the white flag in the tooth-brushing battle — or that you are guessing on the temperature because you lost your thermometer, or didn’t actually look at the poop when your child’s stomach hurt, so you don’t know if it was hard or diarrhea (because, after all, poop is gross). But if I don’t know this stuff, I may miss not just an opportunity to help you in all these struggles, but I might make the wrong diagnosis. That could be bad.

We aren’t here to judge — and we have seen and heard worse, I promise. Please, tell the truth. I can’t take care of your child (or you) if you don’t.

3. They don’t say anything when the doctor screws up. If I don’t make sense, if I didn’t ask something important, if I’ve misunderstood something, if I’ve given an instruction that is unworkable or if I’ve made someone feel upset or bad in any way, I want to know. Pediatricians are human and can screw up like anyone else. But when we screw up, it can lead to the wrong diagnosis or treatment, to families not knowing what to do or not getting what they need. That’s why we need people to let us know when we’ve got it wrong. And we need you to let us know in real time, so we can fix it.

So speak up. Say, “I didn’t understand that.” Or, “He’s had a fever for five days, not one day.” Or, “You don’t understand, he’s never complained of a pain like this before.” Or, “I actually need to talk more about what’s going on at school, it’s really not going well.” Or, “I can’t give a medicine three times a day because of my job.” Or, “When you said that, it made me feel like you thought I was a bad mother.”

Now, I can’t guarantee that every doctor will take it well. Saying it nicely helps, obviously. But here’s something I think is important: if your doctor can’t take some constructive criticism, then you should get a different doctor.

4. They forget that they and the doctor are a team. I may be the doctor, the one with the medical training, but you are the parent — the one who knows and cares for the child.

This one kind of sums up the others, really. The visit and ongoing relationship with the pediatrician work best when parents and doctors understand that they need each other — and when they work together to make the most of the visit. So remember: you are as important as the doctor. If you take an active role, things work out so much better.

We want the same thing — your child to be healthy and happy. If you help me help you, we can make it happen.

Claire McCarthy is a pediatrician. She blogs at the Huffington Post, where this article originally appeared, and at Boston.com as MD Mama.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

What physicians experience today is feigned intimacy

January 10, 2016 Kevin 23
…
Next

What passes for medical advice online isn't actually true or safe

January 10, 2016 Kevin 6
…

Tagged as: Pediatrics

Post navigation

< Previous Post
What physicians experience today is feigned intimacy
Next Post >
What passes for medical advice online isn't actually true or safe

More by Claire McCarthy, MD

  • Sometimes, talking to strangers is necessary

    Claire McCarthy, MD
  • Maybe God made teenagers difficult so we can let them go

    Claire McCarthy, MD
  • Should tackling be removed from youth football?

    Claire McCarthy, MD

Related Posts

  • A medical student’s letter to her parents

    Hillary McKinley
  • The basics of the MMR vaccine from a pediatrician

    Roy Benaroch, MD
  • Working parents are key members of the United States workforce

    Inna Husain, MD and Meeta Shah, MD
  • A physician’s addiction to social media

    Amanda Xi, MD
  • A pediatrician was bullied by his fellow physicians on Twitter

    Mick Connors, MD
  • A #MeToo moment with a pediatrician

    Lauren Feltz, MHSc

More in Physician

  • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

    Cindy Rubin, MD
  • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

    Elizabeth Cerceo, MD
  • Raw humanity on night float: inspiring patient encounters and overcoming challenges

    Johnathan Yao, MD, MPH
  • Revolutionizing emergency medicine: Overcoming long-term challenges with innovative solutions for physicians and patients

    Anonymous
  • The pediatric health care system tested to the limits: an inside look at the “at capacity” period during the tripledemic

    Jacqueline Bolt, MD
  • How chronic illness and disability are portrayed in media and the importance of daily choices for improved quality of life

    Juliet Morgan and Meghan Jobson
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • A patient’s perspective on the diminishing relationship between doctors and patients

      Michele Luckenbaugh | Conditions
    • Unmasking wage disparity in health care: the truth behind the Elmhurst Hospital physician strike

      Kevin Pho, MD | KevinMD
    • Why affirmative action is crucial for health equity and social justice in medicine

      Katrina Gipson, MD, MPH | Policy
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • How electronic health records preserve patients’ legacies in the words of oncologists

      Marc Braunstein, MD, PhD | Physician
    • Unmasking the brutal reality of gun violence in America: a call to action for unity and meaningful change

      Osmund Agbo, MD | Policy
  • Past 6 Months

    • The growing threat to transgender health care: implications for patients, providers, and trainees

      Carson Hartlage | Policy
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

      Cindy Rubin, MD | Physician
    • Uncovering the truth about racial health inequities in America: a book review

      John Paul Mikhaiel, MD | Policy
    • Why electronic health records are failing patients: the dark side of copy and paste [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • The surprising medical mystery of a “good” Hitler: How a rescued kitten revealed a rare movement disorder

      Teresella Gondolo, MD | Conditions
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 8 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • 'Medically Relevant to Saving the Life of Your Patient': What We Heard This Week
  • Want to Solve the Nurse Shortage?
  • Why Are Female Doctors Sued Nearly Half as Often as Male Doctors?
  • What Drug Did FDA Just Approve for COVID?
  • PET Scan for Alzheimer's Dx; Predicting Colon Cancer Survival

Meeting Coverage

  • No Access to Routine Healthcare Biggest Barrier to HPV Vaccination
  • Trial Results Spark Talk of Curing More Metastatic Cervical Cancers
  • Cross-Border Collaboration Improves Survival in Pediatric Leukemia Patients
  • Monoclonal Antibody Reduced Need For Transfusions in Low-Risk MDS
  • Less-Invasive Surgery for Pancreatic Cancer Proves Safe, Effective
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • A patient’s perspective on the diminishing relationship between doctors and patients

      Michele Luckenbaugh | Conditions
    • Unmasking wage disparity in health care: the truth behind the Elmhurst Hospital physician strike

      Kevin Pho, MD | KevinMD
    • Why affirmative action is crucial for health equity and social justice in medicine

      Katrina Gipson, MD, MPH | Policy
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • How electronic health records preserve patients’ legacies in the words of oncologists

      Marc Braunstein, MD, PhD | Physician
    • Unmasking the brutal reality of gun violence in America: a call to action for unity and meaningful change

      Osmund Agbo, MD | Policy
  • Past 6 Months

    • The growing threat to transgender health care: implications for patients, providers, and trainees

      Carson Hartlage | Policy
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

      Cindy Rubin, MD | Physician
    • Uncovering the truth about racial health inequities in America: a book review

      John Paul Mikhaiel, MD | Policy
    • Why electronic health records are failing patients: the dark side of copy and paste [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • The surprising medical mystery of a “good” Hitler: How a rescued kitten revealed a rare movement disorder

      Teresella Gondolo, MD | Conditions
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

4 mistakes parents make in the pediatrician’s office
8 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...