Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Overcoming the epidemic of loneliness

Giulia Faison, MD
Conditions
December 17, 2022
12 Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

As I drove home from work and turned right onto the familiar street that would eventually wind around like a smile to my home, I briefly closed my eyes and tilted my face to the sky, enjoying the butterscotch sunlight still peeking through the leaves framing the street. I noticed with contentment the various groups of people clustered alongside one another, walking at a leisurely pace on the adjacent sidewalk.

It was April 2020. A new respiratory viral illness had just been uncovered, one that fragmented lives and disjointed communities all across the world. Uncertainty had unhinged society as unexpectedly as a cold gust of air on a warm summer evening. I thought one good thing would come out of this: maybe this pandemic will bring people together. Like during tragic events such as 9/11, shared fear and helplessness will help unite people. Maybe, just maybe, this could mend the fraying seams of our societal fabric. Two and a half years later, this could not be further from the truth.

Rather than connecting people, the coronavirus pandemic unmasked the loneliness that prevailed in many people’s lives. With its promise for expedient delivery of everything from groceries to film, technology usurped it rather than freeing us for more time. It has certainly offered innumerable benefits, such as improving access to educational and work opportunities, allowing us to be visited by a doctor remotely, and providing the opportunity to stay connected with family overseas.

But, it has not been without cost. It has also slowly crept into our pores, deceiving us into believing we cannot operate without it. We think to briefly go on Facebook or Instagram to post a picture and then find ourselves still there an hour later. More often than not, rather than seeing family members or friends connecting with one another in lively conversation during a meal, I see individual persons sitting side by side in silence as they stare at their cell phones, languidly sliding their index fingers upward on their screens: separate and distinct entities that are perhaps near one another physically but very far psychologically and emotionally.

The irony is that while we feel more connected by being in more frequent contact with others, we are actually less connected. Technological advancement, in some ways, has fueled stagnation and laziness; we can now work from our homes remotely, so even the last shreds of what remained to motivate us to get dressed, shower, have a routine, and connect with the world around us by seeing, hearing, and feeling—all of this is now optional. And when we do drive, we can get from our house to our office without any human contact.

With enforced curfews, quarantining, and recommended social isolation, people placed more and more distance between each other. I remember being out on a walk around the neighborhood with my two-year-old son. He saw a couple approaching us. They must have been at least fifty feet away. Without any prompting and without hesitation, he grabbed my hand and guided me toward the edge of the sidewalk, nudging me to cross the street so we could remain as far as possible from our neighbors. A few days later, as I was examining a six-month-old infant that had been in our hospital since birth, I wondered if he would be able to recognize his parents once it was time for him to go home, having only been exposed to masked humans. I felt intense sadness at this thought as if the meaning of connection, love, and what it meant to be human was disintegrating before our eyes.

The United States Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, writes about loneliness as a universal condition whose antidote is human connection. The trouble with loneliness is that it begets loneliness. When we are lonely, we withdraw. We feel neglected and hurt, feeling as if we are living at the margins of everyone else’s lives. We feel ashamed that we are hurt and are fearful of being judged as ‘loners.’ We turn inward and shun even those who may reach out a helping hand, perpetuating and accentuating our loneliness. We reinforce our sense of not belonging and hide further. “Then the risk of self-destructive behaviors increases. Many people use drugs, alcohol, food, and sex to numb the emotional pain of loneliness. In this way, the combination of loneliness and stigma creates a cascade of consequences that affect not only our personal health and productivity but also the health of society.”

Indeed, it has been called an epidemic of loneliness by researchers, linked by a common thread with depression, anxiety, and burnout, to name a few. So then, how do we connect if loneliness perpetuates disconnection?

Brené Brown, an expert on vulnerability, defines connection as “the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

This requires presence — with ourselves and the spaces we inhabit. If we are present, we are able to remain in nonjudgment, allowing us the opportunity of experiencing genuine empathy. As Dr. Brown writes, “true belonging is not passive… It’s a practice that requires us to be vulnerable, get uncomfortable, and learn how to be present with people without sacrificing who we are.” The comfort and ease technology has brought us have erased the challenges that made it possible for us to appreciate one another.

After all, isn’t it much easier to send a disappointed text to a friend and avoid his reaction rather than meet and reflect on what disappointed us? While the former repels connection, the latter attracts it.

John and Stephanie Cacioppo, husband and wife neuroscientists, found that acts of kindness and generosity are extremely important in reducing loneliness by promoting gratitude and trust. When we offer genuine kindness towards others, it helps us by providing meaning to our actions, which in turn enforces our sense of belonging and connection.

We must first reduce our social isolation to increase our opportunities for interacting with others. Secondly, we must make the effort to interact meaningfully. Being a bit more vulnerable and open to contact opens the door to connection. We can repaint the image of people walking alongside one another on the sidewalk as dusk begins to settle and imagine that they are sharing this moment not out of boredom but out of a genuine desire to be with one another. Let’s cultivate a world of togetherness.

Giulia Faison is a neonatologist.

Prev

What does it mean to truly be an ally? [PODCAST]

December 16, 2022 Kevin 0
…
Next

Stephen "tWitch" Boss' tragic death highlights the importance of mental health

December 17, 2022 Kevin 2
…

Tagged as: Psychiatry

Post navigation

< Previous Post
What does it mean to truly be an ally? [PODCAST]
Next Post >
Stephen "tWitch" Boss' tragic death highlights the importance of mental health

Related Posts

  • Approach the gun violence epidemic like we do with coronavirus

    Charles Nozicka, DO
  • The other opioid epidemic that we ignore

    Hans Duvefelt, MD
  • The epidemic of violence against health care workers

    Marlene Harris-Taylor
  • Market-based approaches solving the opioid epidemic

    Julie Craig, MD
  • Marijuana will not fix the opioid epidemic

    Kenneth Finn, MD
  • An outdated law is limiting our coronavirus response

    Leah Hampson Yoke, PA-C

More in Conditions

  • The surprising medical mystery of a “good” Hitler: How a rescued kitten revealed a rare movement disorder

    Teresella Gondolo, MD
  • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

    Kim Downey, PT
  • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

    Althea Halchuck, EJD
  • An obstetrician-gynecologist reveals the truth about reproductive planning and how to navigate society’s expectations

    Yuliya Malayev, DO, MPH
  • Nose-brain connection: The surprising link between allergies and mental health revealed

    Kara Wada, MD
  • Is the rise in mental illness due to greater awareness or a true increase in incidence?

    Zahid Awan, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • A patient’s perspective on the diminishing relationship between doctors and patients

      Michele Luckenbaugh | Conditions
    • How chronic illness and disability are portrayed in media and the importance of daily choices for improved quality of life

      Juliet Morgan and Meghan Jobson | Physician
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Why affirmative action is crucial for health equity and social justice in medicine

      Katrina Gipson, MD, MPH | Policy
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • The pros and cons of taking a gap year during medical school

      Med School Insiders | Education, Sponsored
    • A family physician’s journey on the OIG list and the struggle to return to practice [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Heartwarming stories of cancer patients teaching us about life and the human spirit

      Johnathan Yao, MD, MPH | Physician
    • We need a new Hippocratic Oath that puts patient autonomy first

      Jeffrey A. Singer, MD | Physician
    • The meaning of death in medicine: the role of compassionate care in end-of-life patient care

      Ton La, Jr., MD, JD | Physician
    • From skydiving to saving lives: a surgeon’s journey on adversity, passion, and perseverance [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • Catching the Optimal Amount of Z's May Be Protective Against Long COVID
  • Treating Early Hospitalization Blood Pressure Deemed a No-No for Patient Safety
  • Addressing Burnout in an Invisible Part of the Health Workforce
  • Family-Oriented Sedation Protocol Helps Kids With ASD Manage Routine Healthcare
  • Bariatric Surgery in Kids With Obesity Becoming More Common

Meeting Coverage

  • New Model Aims to Study Intestinal Fibrosis in Crohn's Disease
  • Hypertension Tied to Worse Survival After Surgery for Upper Tract Urothelial Cancers
  • The Role of Amyloid PET in the Management of Alzheimer's Disease
  • New Inflammation Inhibitor Proves Effective and Safe for Dry Eye Disease
  • No Access to Routine Healthcare Biggest Barrier to HPV Vaccination
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • A patient’s perspective on the diminishing relationship between doctors and patients

      Michele Luckenbaugh | Conditions
    • How chronic illness and disability are portrayed in media and the importance of daily choices for improved quality of life

      Juliet Morgan and Meghan Jobson | Physician
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Why affirmative action is crucial for health equity and social justice in medicine

      Katrina Gipson, MD, MPH | Policy
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • The pros and cons of taking a gap year during medical school

      Med School Insiders | Education, Sponsored
    • A family physician’s journey on the OIG list and the struggle to return to practice [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Heartwarming stories of cancer patients teaching us about life and the human spirit

      Johnathan Yao, MD, MPH | Physician
    • We need a new Hippocratic Oath that puts patient autonomy first

      Jeffrey A. Singer, MD | Physician
    • The meaning of death in medicine: the role of compassionate care in end-of-life patient care

      Ton La, Jr., MD, JD | Physician
    • From skydiving to saving lives: a surgeon’s journey on adversity, passion, and perseverance [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...