Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

A physician’s running list of microaffirmations

Elizabeth Rubin Ribak, MD
Physician
January 30, 2022
10 Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

Microaffirmations are the antidote to microaggressions. Microaggressions are the little insidious comments or acts of barely perceptible injustice and bias that bite and nip and slowly erode our confidence in our belonging, worth, and power. As I continued the medical training journey, I continually searched for the antidote. Mere protection against the daily barbs and arrows was not enough. I needed more than protection- I needed an offensive strategy as well. For me, searching for micro-affirmations is the answer. My pursuit of the positive, instead of always battling against the negative. I learned to seek out the small comments, actions, or conscious moments that boost my self-worth, reinforce belonging, and make the skip in my step a little lighter.

When I started residency, my fellow women residents and attendings bonded together with stories of the frequent microaggressions that made us fight harder to be included in the conversation and heralded with the same respect as our male colleagues. Since then, I started listing for myself the interactions that made me feel the opposite. Made me feel included, welcomed, even honored, in the world of medicine within the House of God.

Below is a very incomplete list of the microaffirmations that I hope will bolster, propel, sustain, and nourish the soul of those women who valiantly dare to thrive in this field.

1. “When I saw you were a woman doctor, I just breathed the biggest sigh of relief.” Representation matters. In all fields. For those suffering from trauma, or living a life with specific cultural boundaries, or simply walking into a medical encounter accompanied by important life stories, sometimes the fact a fellow woman as the ideal caregiver and physician can change the trajectory of her care.

2. “I hope to go to medical school too! It’s cool to see you could do it.” I am generally a more private person not hoping to be held up to some standard of ideal or lofty goal. However, in these cases, I am always grateful to be a source of inspiration, motivation, and affirmation.

3. “It’s the ladies running the show tonight.” There are no better night shifts than when I work with my all-female crew. The level of comfort, ease, and kinship makes for fun nights, great patient care, and good vibes.

4. “Wow. Strong work.” A simple compliment — from EMS, nurses, colleagues, or consultants — is essential for someone like me, whose love language is words of affirmation.

5. “You are clearly a momma.” I’ve heard this in multiple contexts and am proud of each. I did choose to, and was blessed to be able to, have children and that is such an essential part of my life. Some adult patients act like children and need to be guided (sometimes sternly) towards better decision-making. Some patients are actually children, and that familiarity with the latest Disney Jr. show helps foster a connection. I always felt like being a mom made me a better doctor.

6. “Are you the nurse or the doctor?” This comment used to rub me as a microaggression, but I have reclaimed it. Women can succeed in both roles! Men can succeed in both roles! I proudly reiterate that I am the doctor and will try to re-introduce the nurse as well to establish the care team. I also make it a point to remind them of my physician role throughout the encounter. I worked hard for this role- it feels good to reinforce it.

7. “You have kids? I don’t know how you do it.” In the beginning, this type of comment would make me bristle. With time, I realized I am a wonderfully efficient, trying-my-best, powerful, strong, successful doctor and mother. I do it with love, effort, and coffee. I do it with my partner. I do it with my family. I do it the way that works for my family and me. I do it in a constantly changing way as the demands of work and family ebb and flow. So that comment makes me smile. You don’t know how I do it? Well, watch and see. I’m still learning how I do it too.

8. “I’m really glad I came in tonight.” Even when all I provide is reassurance, knowing that I made a connection with a patient that left them happy with their medical care is affirming.

I’ll continue to look out for the microaffirmations to make each shift brighter. Hopefully, we can change the narrative.

Elizabeth Rubin Ribak is an emergency medicine physician.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

The gift of honoring life

January 30, 2022 Kevin 2
…
Next

"I'd rather drive a Cadillac!": The privilege problem in hospitals

January 30, 2022 Kevin 7
…

Tagged as: Emergency Medicine

Post navigation

< Previous Post
The gift of honoring life
Next Post >
"I'd rather drive a Cadillac!": The privilege problem in hospitals

More by Elizabeth Rubin Ribak, MD

  • There is always that one patient

    Elizabeth Rubin Ribak, MD
  • To my mentor: Thank you. I didn’t know how much I needed you.

    Elizabeth Rubin Ribak, MD
  • What my dog taught me about my patients’ feelings

    Elizabeth Rubin Ribak, MD

Related Posts

  • A physician’s addiction to social media

    Amanda Xi, MD
  • This physician is running for U.S. Senate. Here is his health plan outline.

    Kevin M. Baumlin, MD
  • How a physician keynote can highlight your conference

    Kevin Pho, MD
  • Chasing numbers contributes to physician burnout

    DrizzleMD
  • The black physician’s burden

    Naomi Tweyo Nkinsi
  • Why this physician supports Medicare for all

    Thad Salmon, MD

More in Physician

  • Finding your ideal work-life balance: tips for prioritizing personal life and achieving professional success

    Zahid Awan, MD
  • Boxing legends Tyson and Foreman: powerful lessons for a resilient and evolving health care future

    Harvey Castro, MD, MBA
  • 7 ways to beat burnout: a guide for health care professionals to reduce stress and reclaim their passion

    Marie Livesey, DO
  • Heartwarming stories of cancer patients teaching us about life and the human spirit

    Johnathan Yao, MD, MPH
  • We need a new Hippocratic Oath that puts patient autonomy first

    Jeffrey A. Singer, MD
  • The meaning of death in medicine: the role of compassionate care in end-of-life patient care

    Ton La, Jr., MD, JD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Why affirmative action is crucial for health equity and social justice in medicine

      Katrina Gipson, MD, MPH | Policy
    • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
    • Why doctors aren’t to blame for the U.S. opioid crisis [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Nose-brain connection: The surprising link between allergies and mental health revealed

      Kara Wada, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Urgent innovation needed to address growing mental health crisis among children and families

      Monika Roots, MD | Conditions
    • The importance of listening in health care: a mother’s journey advocating for children with chronic Lyme disease

      Cheryl Lazarus | Conditions
    • Medical errors and the power of apologies [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Finding your ideal work-life balance: tips for prioritizing personal life and achieving professional success

      Zahid Awan, MD | Physician
    • Boxing legends Tyson and Foreman: powerful lessons for a resilient and evolving health care future

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Physician
    • 7 ways to beat burnout: a guide for health care professionals to reduce stress and reclaim their passion

      Marie Livesey, DO | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 2 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • How to Set Up Your Referral Network
  • Missing Doctor's Gunshot Wound; COVID Funds Reshuffled; Helpline Chatbot Shut Down
  • Second RSV Vaccine Lands Approval for Older Adults
  • Long COVID Cognitive, Depressive Symptoms Tied to Brain Inflammation Marker
  • 'Practice Changing' Trial on Activity Recs After Prolapse Surgery

Meeting Coverage

  • Tenapanor Improves Abdominal Symptoms in Patients With IBS-C
  • Benefits Found for Hand OA Drug Treatments
  • MRI-Based Screening May Detect Prostate Cancer Earlier
  • New Model Aims to Study Intestinal Fibrosis in Crohn's Disease
  • Hypertension Tied to Worse Survival After Surgery for Upper Tract Urothelial Cancers
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Why affirmative action is crucial for health equity and social justice in medicine

      Katrina Gipson, MD, MPH | Policy
    • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
    • Why doctors aren’t to blame for the U.S. opioid crisis [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Nose-brain connection: The surprising link between allergies and mental health revealed

      Kara Wada, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Urgent innovation needed to address growing mental health crisis among children and families

      Monika Roots, MD | Conditions
    • The importance of listening in health care: a mother’s journey advocating for children with chronic Lyme disease

      Cheryl Lazarus | Conditions
    • Medical errors and the power of apologies [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Finding your ideal work-life balance: tips for prioritizing personal life and achieving professional success

      Zahid Awan, MD | Physician
    • Boxing legends Tyson and Foreman: powerful lessons for a resilient and evolving health care future

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Physician
    • 7 ways to beat burnout: a guide for health care professionals to reduce stress and reclaim their passion

      Marie Livesey, DO | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

A physician’s running list of microaffirmations
2 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...