Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

How a Zoom nursing interview killed my self-worth

Debbie Moore-Black, RN
Conditions
May 11, 2021
913 Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

I have dedicated 35 years of my life as a nurse: in the ICU for 33 years and behavioral health/intensive management for the last two.

I thought it would be time to take a break from ICU nursing. Surely behavioral health would be a lot easier — kind of a slide into my near-future retirement.

I entered into the land of psychotics and schizophrenics, bipolar, homeless, dangerous patients from prison, like those serving time for killing people or assaulting them. Then there were the non-compliants that looked away from treatment, therapy and medications — the revolving door.

It wasn’t the Land of Oz. We weren’t in Kansas anymore.

I’ve enjoyed these quite interesting last two years. What an intriguing nursing profession. And I’ve learned a lot.

First: to be kind and gentle and listen and care. Your compassion for that person may be all that patient has received in a very long time.

Second: I also learned that I absolutely can’t tolerate nursing bullies. There always seems to be one cruel nurse in the bunch. I don’t do well with them. I avoid them. I definitely can’t confront them. They scare me, but they also make me angry. Because I know the fault is not in me but in them. I try to analyze this kind of nurse. Did she grow up with such anger, maybe neglect, and she’s acting out? And when management turns a blind eye to this behavior, the environment becomes toxic.

I valued my safety and the safety of the staff and the patients. And when management chose the budget over safety — even though they professed to be “the best” after seeing and hearing of dangerous incidents one after the other — I knew I’d have to look for a job yet again.

Maybe I’d go back to ICU at a smaller hospital with lower acuities. Maybe I’d find myself as an ER behavioral health professional who provided 24/7 public safety officers.

I applied to three different positions.

I’m 65 years old. And I have 10 months left before retirement.

I would think with my 33 years of ICU experience, my last few years in behavioral health/intensive management, that I’d be an easy “yes.”

But all three turned me down.

Was it because I only had 10 months left to retire?

Or was it because I lost my “filter”?

I lost the “right” things to say during an interview.

Question: “What are your long-term goals?”

My answer: To take a long, much-needed vacation to the Bahamas. I deserve it (chuckle).

Question: “What would you bring to the table here in the ER with all of your expertise?”

My answer: First, I’d buy you a brand new coffee pot! I have to have my coffee. And you all definitely need a better brand!

I thought they’d catch my humor?

Obviously, they did not.

I was honest, though. Sometimes they don’t want you to be honest.

But during this Zoom interview, I also added my years of experience, my current, and active certifications, that I was a killer at starting IVs and that the most important lesson to ever learn or carry out with patients is kindness and sincerity.

Both of these go a long way. And whether a patient is in the ICU, ER or behavioral health, they’ve all been injured, mentally, physically or both.

In my long years of being a nurse, kindness has to be at the top.

I was turned down, one after the other. I felt my self-worth had hit rock bottom. I use to be this “famous” ICU nurse, and now I’m this fading 65 year old.

So here I stand. 10 months to go. Maybe these other jobs just weren’t meant to be.

Maybe I can no longer filter out what they want to hear.

I’ve had 35 years of incredible memories, incredible nurses and physicians and respiratory therapists, all of us connecting the dots in life through work, through our “grits therapy breakfast,” and through our trauma and triumphs in nursing and our own lives.

I guess I’m just supposed to “stay put” until the winds blow me into my next journey in life.

Debbie Moore-Black is a nurse who blogs at Do Not Resuscitate.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

A transplant physician faces facts about his career

May 11, 2021 Kevin 1
…
Next

Ahimsa means do no harm, including doing no harm to ourselves

May 11, 2021 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Neurology

Post navigation

< Previous Post
A transplant physician faces facts about his career
Next Post >
Ahimsa means do no harm, including doing no harm to ourselves

More by Debbie Moore-Black, RN

  • Inside the psychiatric unit: a PhD’s god-like status, ECT, and the harsh reality of mental illness treatment

    Debbie Moore-Black, RN
  • From insecurities to triumph: a nurse’s journey to overcome the odds

    Debbie Moore-Black, RN
  • Unwavering faith: a woman’s journey through cancer and beyond

    Debbie Moore-Black, RN

Related Posts

  • When physicians are cyberbullied: an interview with ZDoggMD

    Monique Tello, MD
  • The gender imbalance in nursing

    Cole Edmonson, DNP and Paulette Anest, RN
  • This will be an interview season for the ages

    Steven Rose, MD
  • Medical school in the age of Zoom

    Zachariah Tman
  • The nursing home staffing crisis will not be fixed through transparency

    Harsh Moolani
  • The nursing shortage: then and now

    Way Chiang, BSN, DO

More in Conditions

  • Urgent innovation needed to address growing mental health crisis among children and families

    Monika Roots, MD
  • The importance of listening in health care: a mother’s journey advocating for children with chronic Lyme disease

    Cheryl Lazarus
  • The unjust reality of racial disparities in pediatric kidney transplants

    Lien Morcate
  • The surprising medical mystery of a “good” Hitler: How a rescued kitten revealed a rare movement disorder

    Teresella Gondolo, MD
  • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

    Kim Downey, PT
  • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

    Althea Halchuck, EJD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why affirmative action is crucial for health equity and social justice in medicine

      Katrina Gipson, MD, MPH | Policy
    • Why doctors aren’t to blame for the U.S. opioid crisis [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

      Cindy Rubin, MD | Physician
    • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Is chaos in health care leading us towards socialized medicine? How physician burnout is a catalyst.

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • A pediatrician’s journey into integrative medicine [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why allowing yourself to embrace discomfort is necessary for personal growth

      Jillian Rigert, MD, DMD | Physician
    • Unconventional health care, flawed studies, and biases: Navigating the complexities for optimal well-being

      Kara Wada, MD | Physician
    • Urgent innovation needed to address growing mental health crisis among children and families

      Monika Roots, MD | Conditions
    • The importance of listening in health care: a mother’s journey advocating for children with chronic Lyme disease

      Cheryl Lazarus | Conditions

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 6 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • UnitedHealthcare in the Hot Seat Over GI Procedure 'Advance Notification' Policy
  • Genetic Risk Score Predicts Hypertensive Disorders of Pregnancy
  • FDA Warns on Certain Forms of Compounded Semaglutide
  • Fired COVID Whistleblower Doesn't Want to Settle His Case
  • Video of ACOG Presenter Being Slapped Goes Viral

Meeting Coverage

  • TAR-200 Led to High Complete Response Rates in BCG-Unresponsive Bladder Cancer
  • More Success for CAR T-Cell Therapy in Rheumatic Disease
  • Trial Shows RA Can Be Stopped at Preclinical Stage
  • Tenapanor Improves Abdominal Symptoms in Patients With IBS-C
  • Benefits Found for Hand OA Drug Treatments
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Why affirmative action is crucial for health equity and social justice in medicine

      Katrina Gipson, MD, MPH | Policy
    • Why doctors aren’t to blame for the U.S. opioid crisis [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

      Cindy Rubin, MD | Physician
    • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Is chaos in health care leading us towards socialized medicine? How physician burnout is a catalyst.

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • A pediatrician’s journey into integrative medicine [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why allowing yourself to embrace discomfort is necessary for personal growth

      Jillian Rigert, MD, DMD | Physician
    • Unconventional health care, flawed studies, and biases: Navigating the complexities for optimal well-being

      Kara Wada, MD | Physician
    • Urgent innovation needed to address growing mental health crisis among children and families

      Monika Roots, MD | Conditions
    • The importance of listening in health care: a mother’s journey advocating for children with chronic Lyme disease

      Cheryl Lazarus | Conditions

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

How a Zoom nursing interview killed my self-worth
6 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...