Here it comes — another email about “physician wellness,” advertising mindfulness training, an ice cream social, or a volunteer day. As a psychiatrist, I can attest to the importance of tending to one’s own mental and physical health in order to strive for wellness. However, the trend of implementing physician wellness programs throughout the U.S. is nothing more than putting proverbial lipstick on a pig. Or, stated differently, this may …
It’s 3 a.m., and I wake with a jolt. My heart is pounding out of my chest. I stumble out of bed to take a beta blocker hoping it’s enough to quiet my heart so I can doze off again. I sleep fitfully the next three hours, experiencing weird dreams and terrifying nightmares.
At 6 a.m., I take my Valium. Nauseated, I lie in bed for 30 minutes, so I keep …
I have been working with psychiatric patients for the better part of 30 years. During this time, I have worked in psychiatric emergency rooms, prison wards, substance abuse treatment centers and inpatient psychiatric units. I have been proud of the fact that, despite working in some dangerous areas, I have never been harmed by a patient. I have been threatened, swung at — but never injured. Once a patient decided …
Five years ago today I was at a memorial. Another suicide. Our third doctor in 18 months.
Everyone kept whispering, “Why?”
I was determined to find out.
So I started counting dead doctors. I left the service with a list of 10. Now I have 547.
Immediately, I began writing and speaking about suicide. So many distressed doctors (and med students) wrote and phoned …
“She doesn’t look like a person with an addiction problem to me,” replied the physician to the psychiatrist, referring to a patient who was admitted to the hospital for confusion. She was found at home amidst an array of bottles containing various controlled substances, and a toxicology screen positive for cannabis. She was in a higher socioeconomic bracket having retired from a professional job. The psychiatrist explained that addiction crosses …
One of Max’s friends taught him an easy way to buy shady drugs. What he learned almost killed him, and it opened my eyes to a hiding-in-plain-sight source of dangerous drugs that is amplifying the opioid epidemic.
When Max (not his real name) developed pancreatitis a decade ago, his physicians prescribed opioids to ease his extreme …
Every now and then, when some people learn what kind of work I do, they say, “You’re doing God’s work. Thank you.”
They mean well, so I accept the compliment, though I also tack on, “I also like what I do. It’s meaningful work for me.”
So many of the people I see, whether in my current job or in my past jobs working in other underserved communities, have a lot going …
An excerpt from The Flame Broiled Doctor: From Boyhood to Burnout in Medicine.
“So what did my bloodwork show, Doctor?” asked Liz. Liz was friendly and polite, but a textbook example of the Worried Well … healthy but neurotic patients I didn’t need to see as often as …
On TV shows, therapists decorate their rooms with leather lounge chairs, throw pillows and organza curtains that let in the light.
But Dr. Hassan’s office is in the clinic basement. The fluorescent lighting is sterile. She has a gray metal desk — I think every doctor I’ve shadowed as a medical student has had that same desk.
But I’m not here as a student.
I’ve been anticipating this appointment for a month. In …
It seems that everyone has advice about sleep these days, and we have become immune to it. “Avoid naps, caffeine and alcohol close to bedtime. Get exercise. Get out of bed if you can’t sleep. Turn off the TV and any electronic devices hours before bedtime. Enjoy a relaxing ritual. Keep to a routine.”
Please do all of these, because they actually work! Shifting your bedtime later to achieve sleep consolidation …
Eighty percent of diagnoses can be made based on the history and physical. Take the subjective and objective; throw in some medical history, family history, social history and you can figure out your assessment and plan. Doctors are the detectives of the body and the more facts, the easier it is to solve the mystery.
This is the fictional note that I wrote in my head concerning a fellow physician friend …
My intern gazed blankly at her notes from the day.
“You OK?” I asked.
Her face was quivering with restrained tears as she turned to me, “I don’t think I helped anyone today.” This was not the first time, nor would it be the last time, that I had heard those words from a resident physician.
Medical training is no joy ride. How could it be? First, there is the intellectual challenge of …
“You’re a doctor; focus on being a doctor.”
This piece of advice was recently given to me by my own father, in regards to my multiple ambitions outside of the medical field. He himself only recently retired from a long career as a surgeon, so his opinion is the result of years of experience.
His advice got me thinking.
What makes for career longevity in our field? Statistics show that more than half …
It wasn’t until I was six months into my second depressive episode that I discovered depression existed. I didn’t know it was a real disease. I didn’t know that my grandmother got electroconvulsive “shock” therapy in the 1950s. I only knew something was terribly wrong when I sat crying for 20 minutes in front of a pile of laundry one morning because the thought of choosing clothes and going through …
I had an interesting conversation with a patient in the office some time ago.
He was sent to me to evaluate abnormal liver blood tests, a common issue for gastroenterologists to unravel. I did not think that these laboratory abnormalities portended an unfavorable medical outcome. Beyond the medical issue, he confided to me a harrowing personal tribulation. Often, I find that a person’s personal story is more interesting and significant than …
No matter how well the one you love ornaments your life, they should never be an ornament. Meaning — you should never have to find them hanging in the closet like it’s some tree where each broken branch represents sadness, sickness and issues that only make sense in hindsight.
That metaphorical tree was as astonishing as Christmas morning yet as terrible as a Halloween horror. And although surreal — like Dali …
A few weeks after I started residency, two of my peers killed themselves in New York City. No one I knew was surprised.
Intern year is hell, and everybody knows it from TV shows like “Scrubs” and books like “House of God.” Old doctors tell tall tales of working a million hours without sleep before training standards got “soft,” limiting residents’ monthly work hours to 320 and requiring four days off. …
Those of us who work in pediatric intensive care have frequent encounters with the problem of suicide and attempted suicide. It has seemed to me for some years that the numbers are increasing, and this has been shown to be the case. After years of declining, the suicide rate in our country has been increasing, now at about 125 percent of the rate of several decades …
I’ve known since I was very young that I just experienced life differently than did my extroverted family members and friends. During parties, they seemed to truly enjoy the loudness and chaos of get togethers and the seemingly endless small talk, while I would secretly yearn to return home so that I could read my latest novel in peace. An older family member once told me that I would eventually …
Many patients are referred to me as a psychiatrist to treat their depression. The new patients that come to me for depressive symptoms usually expect that I will be recommending and prescribing an antidepressant for their depressive symptoms because that is what a psychiatrist does, right? Not always.
Often times these patients come to me having gone through several antidepressant trials without any successful resolution of their depressive symptoms. Well, sometimes …
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