Critical Care

A story of treatment failure and end-of-life decisions

Conditions
January 30, 2019

Part 4 of a series.

By the time my father’s metastatic prostate cancer was diagnosed, he was already experiencing symptoms of poor appetite and weight loss, which grew progressively worse following his first hospital admission. As his nutritional status continued to decline, the protein level in his blood decreased, causing significant fluid buildup in his legs and abdomen. During his hospital stays, we consulted with dietitians who created individualized …

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Your first 24-hour shift

Physician
January 10, 2019

How can you work for 24 hours in a row? My friends outside of medicine ask me that often. What is it like? I wondered the same thing the night before my first 24-hour shift or “24.” I lay awake worrying, ironically, that I should have gone to bed earlier to rest up for the ordeal.

When I get to work, full of nervous energy, I am relieved to find out …

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Go quiet into the night

Conditions
January 2, 2019

I know what you’re thinking: She’s cold-hearted, cruel, and unkind.

But am I? Or are you?

Grandma Lilly is 87-years-old and in the ICU. She’s on a ventilator with her wrists restrained to the side of the bed. Grandma can barely see because her eyes are puffy: scleral edema. And her heart races: 140 beats per minute. Her blood pressure is low and Levophed and vasopressin drips are ordered.

Her family can’t talk …

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The evolution of the stethoscope

Physician
November 13, 2018

The stethoscope. Nothings says “I’m a doctor” more than the stethoscope in a pocket or draped around the neck. Forty-five years ago when I got my first one, a gift from my physician-father, the former was more common. Then we were more likely to wear coats — white coats or suit coats — and pockets were available. I had suit coats in which the lining was worn out from the …

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Your greatest role as a doctor? Storyteller.

Physician
October 25, 2018

There are medical honors so rare you don’t even know they exist. When you’re trudging through the slog of PBK/AOA/other — ultimately meaningless — letters, these seem to be the definition of distinction. Just like every other lesson, a patient taught me what real prestige is.

Well, it wasn’t entirely that Oslerian, it was the patient’s nephew.*

Carl paged me on an ordinary day — a fellow physician, he once saved my …

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A physician loves the adrenaline surge

Physician
October 25, 2018

Have you ever felt so cold? I mean bone-chilling cold. I don’t mean the same kind of cold that northern winters can leave you feeling. I am talking about working in a hospital that is climate-controlled, and you are undoubtedly shivering.

I still remember my first day on the job as a neonatology fellow. I was anxiously walking to the operating room to attend the delivery of a 25-week infant. As …

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Burnout in pediatric intensive care physicians

Physician
August 26, 2018

Burnout has been a descriptive term for years, but lately, psychologists and others have assigned it specific characteristics with a view toward being able actually to study and measure it. One common definition of burnout is a state of chronic stress that leads to physical and emotional exhaustion, cynicism, detachment, and feelings of ineffectiveness. The PICU environment is often one of high stress, so it’s a place where this …

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Am I the cold and detached physician?

Physician
June 13, 2018

It’s 9:30 a.m. on a Wednesday, I get on the elevator, and I hear a man in his 40s, having a conversation on his cell. He says: “He had a brain bleed yesterday, and they had to put a breathing tube in, they don’t know how much damage his brain has suffered at this point.” He gets off on the adult ICU floor. I quickly think “that sucks” and carry …

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How to deal with devastating criticism

Education
May 24, 2018

“Why don’t you just get a shotgun and blow his brains out next time? Better yet, next time stay the hell away from my patient!”

I was frozen, and the ICU attending wasn’t even talking to me. My co-intern had barely started her presentation when she met damnation. Mind you — there was a senior resident, a pulmonary fellow, and a team of nurses caring for the patient also. Yet the …

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When someone is not dead but not alive

Physician
May 9, 2018

May lay in a hospital bed, her wrinkled skin covered with sensors that monitored her every breath and heartbeat. Her husband sat at her bedside gently stroking her withering gray hair as her chest moved slowly up and down accompanied by the soft whoosh-whoosh of the ventilator that breathed for her.

He stared expectantly at her face as if at any moment she would rise and free herself from the multiple …

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Learn to see beauty in death

Physician
February 9, 2018

We physicians stand witness to countless tragedies in our careers.

At some point, as we stand by the bedside of a dying patient, comfort a heartbroken relative or officially call a death. We learn that love and loss, sorrow and joy are intertwined. They depend upon each other. They are two sides of the same coin. Dealing with loss after loss, we learn to look for the beauty in all of …

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What I learned from the ICU (other than medicine)

Physician
February 5, 2018

This week I had some particularly emotionally tough cases at work, and it got me thinking about life in general and how, in spite of having a tough job, I have learned so much from it.

When I think of childhood diseases, there are the ones that are chronic, the ones that let you process that your baby is sick and has a potential life-threatening condition. You have weeks and months to …

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The moment I became a passionate doctor

Physician
December 9, 2017

I was nearing the end of my pediatrics rotation as a third-year medical student when the senior resident asked me to admit a patient to the general pediatrics floor. The only information I had as I headed down to the intensive care unit was that she was a ten-year-old girl who had survived an extensive resuscitation at home.

By this point in my education, I was certain that I wanted to …

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Withdrawal of care in the PICU: What happens if there is disagreement?

Physician
December 8, 2017

Most experienced pediatric intensivists, myself included, have encountered situations in which we, the doctors, believe continuing to support a child is unethical because it is not saving the life but prolonging the dying; whereas the child’s parents believe the opposite — that it is unethical to withdraw life support because all life is sacred, no matter the circumstances. Sometimes these situations arise because poor communication causes families to distrust the …

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It’s time to stop it with the “routine” labs

Physician
September 18, 2017

“So, I’m getting routine labs on her.”

Wait, what?

Statements like these often make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. One of our residents was seeing a healthy young woman for her “annual physical,” seen just a few days after a routine postpartum visit with her OB/GYN after the uneventful birth of her third child two months ago.

The resident was coming for his afternoon continuity clinic from an …

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A nurse returns from vacation. And she’s thankful to the ICU she came back to.

Conditions
September 14, 2017

I’m in the ICU and was just back from an incredible tropical vacation. Nine days of vegging out on the beach. The glistening ocean was just steps away from the five-star hotel I was staying in, where doormen greeted me with fruity daiquiris and a staff that couldn’t wait to serve my every whim.

I was in paradise, and far, far away from the reality of my day-to-day existence as an …

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Gamification of medical education: Choose Your Own Medventure

Education
September 5, 2017

More and more health care practitioners are turning to social media for their medical education. Fellows are learning ultrasound from Snapchat, nurses are learning how to insert NG tubes from watching YouTube, and learners are learning pathophysiology from blogs and podcasts. To reach this audience with credible and reliable content, it is important for medical educators to be present where the learners are, and that means social media.

Users are also …

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A reminder of how important bedside manner is

Physician
August 29, 2017

Being a physician is hard. Really hard. Four years of medical school, multiple years of residency and perhaps fellowship training add up to years of working endless days in a row and powering through exhausting nights. For many of us, this need to be able to power through continues even when we finally make it as an attending.

But being a patient is harder. Being the daughter or son or husband …

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A physician’s mixed feelings about clinical pathways

Conditions
August 2, 2017

As the kids say, it’s complicated. Practicing physicians are seeing an ever increasing list of protocols and pathways coming their way. These arrive in several forms — order sets for medications, guidelines in how to proceed for various conditions, when to do this, when to do that, and when not to do either one. They generally are the product of various committees trying to synthesize what these days we call …

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