For you, the story is quite different. Away from the anxieties of the news, you were there, in the front row. You saw it all. You heard about it in January, and somehow it was impossible to fathom the horror that was to come. You agonized about the misses; vitals flashed in your dreams. You wondered what more you could have done. The missed pulmonary embolism, the respiratory distress syndrome too ...

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For most of us, medical training through all the pains of medical school and residency is often bearable when we fantasize about life on the other side of all of this. Life as an attending physician, when the sky suddenly turns all rainbow, when the money starts to fall from those skies -- we're finally our own bosses, and then we're supposed to live happily ever after. The reality, however, ...

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