Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

We have been the precious gift of making a difference in the lives of others

Andy Lamb, MD
Physician
December 4, 2020
Share
Tweet
Share

“You that seek what life is in death,
Now find it air that once was breath,
New names unknown, old names gone:
Till time end bodies, but souls none.
Reader! Then make time, while you be,
But steps to your eternity.”

– Baron Brooke Fulke Greville, “Caelica 83”

I cried Sunday morning as I sat by my fire pit. It was all I could do to keep from sobbing as I read the last pages of When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi, MD. I often had to stop mid-page to gather myself together before I could continue to read.

At the age of 36, on the verge of completing a decade’s worth of training as a neurosurgeon and neuroscientist, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. When Breath Becomes Air is his story of his transformation from a medical student, seeking to answer the question of what makes a virtuous and meaningful life, into a neurosurgeon, seeking to understand more deeply that critical place of human identity, and finally into a patient and new father confronting his own mortality.

He died in March 2015 while working on this book, leaving behind a wife and 8-month-old daughter. The tragedy of his premature death was heart-wrenching to read. However, the words he wrote in those final months of his life are an unforgettable, life-offering reflection on the challenge of facing death and the sacred relationship between doctor and patient. In his dying, he had much to teach about life, powerful lessons all too easy to forget in the busyness that is the life of a physician.

Early in the book, he writes about his struggles during the arduous first years of neurosurgical residency. He realized he was becoming inured to the suffering and death that was now commonplace. Paul feared losing sight of the sacred relationship between doctor and patient. He realized that saving lives – everyone dies eventually – was not his highest ideal, rather guiding a patient or family to an understanding of death or illness. He wrote, “When there’s no place for the scalpel, words are the surgeon’s only tool.” I know this to be true, as well. I have seen much death and suffering in my years of medicine and the medical missions I lead throughout the world. When all else has failed – medical/surgical treatment, experimental protocols, last-ditch holistic therapies – what can one do? Our scalpel, our medical treatment, become the words we choose and the way we say them. The right words said with caring, compassion, a loving touch can be healing in ways we cannot imagine. But words said otherwise can be as wounding as the cut made by the sharpest of scalpels.

He felt doctors had a duty to learn, “What made that particular patient’s life worth living or, if not, to allow the peace of death. Such power required deep responsibility. Yet most lives are lived with passivity toward death.” As I read those words, I was reminded of the last scene in the movie Braveheart where the main character, William Wallace, played by Mel Gibson, knowing his execution was imminent, said, “All men die, but few men truly live.”

Paul found himself facing his own mortality while trying to understand what made his life worth living. In the end, it was his daughter that made life worth fighting for. His wife asked him, “What are you afraid or sad about?” He answered, “Leaving you.” He knew a child would bring joy to their family, and he could not bear to see his wife childless after he died. His wife was concerned that saying goodbye to his child would make his death more painful. He answered, “Wouldn’t it be great if it did?” They both felt life was not about avoiding suffering. They would carry on living instead of dying. They would not allow themselves to “miss the dance.”

He understood that life was precious and what made it so was not money, prestige, titles, or material things. He called these vanities that hold so little interest: a chasing after wind. He came to understand that we are all “but steps to your eternity,” yet few of us stop long enough from our busyness to comprehend that.

We all need to be reminded of this. We have been given a precious gift – the gift of making a difference in the lives of others, a gift of living a life that counts. We have the great privilege of the sacred trust between physician and patient. In seeking those things that truly are important, may we find life not death, breath not air as we remember we all are “but steps to your eternity.”

Andy Lamb is an internal medicine physician. He can be reached at Bugle Notes.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

A physician shares stories online and is now a published author

December 4, 2020 Kevin 0
…
Next

Physicians who work themselves into the ground have nothing to be proud of

December 4, 2020 Kevin 1
…

ADVERTISEMENT

Tagged as: Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
A physician shares stories online and is now a published author
Next Post >
Physicians who work themselves into the ground have nothing to be proud of

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Andy Lamb, MD

  • May the needs of others become personal to you

    Andy Lamb, MD
  • You are a servant with a servant heart

    Andy Lamb, MD
  • I am tired of the racism that remains embedded in our culture

    Andy Lamb, MD

Related Posts

  • Thank you to the patients who have allowed me into your lives

    Johnathan Yao, MD, MPH
  • Medical students in solidarity: Black Lives Matter

    Anna Delamerced
  • The non-difference between MDs and DOs

    Brandon Jacobi
  • A physician’s addiction to social media

    Amanda Xi, MD
  • The difference between learning medicine and doing medicine

    Steven Zhang, MD
  • The economic argument for saving lives

    Yenting Chen, MD

More in Physician

  • The unseen burden patients carry between appointments

    Ryan Nadelson, MD
  • My journey to loving primary care again

    Jerina Gani, MD, MPH
  • Why doctors striking may be the most ethical choice

    Patrick Hudson, MD
  • How photos shape drug stigma—and what we can do about it

    Jeffrey Hom, MD, MPH, MSHP
  • From participants to partners: Rethinking clinical trial design

    Robert Den, MD
  • First-name familiarity improves doctor-patient connection

    Ryan Nadelson, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Meeting transgender patients where they are: a health care imperative

      Tyler B. Evans, MD, MPH | Physician
    • How AI, animals, and ecosystems reveal a new kind of intelligence

      Fateh Entabi, MD | Tech
    • A physician employment agreement term that often tricks physicians

      Dennis Hursh, Esq | Finance
    • Why taxing remittances harms families and global health care

      Dalia Saha, MD | Finance
    • Why agency and partnership are vital in modern health care

      Alan P. Feren, MD | Physician
    • How molecular discoveries are transforming preeclampsia prediction and care

      Thomas McElrath, MD, PhD and Kara Rood, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why kratom addiction is the next public health crisis

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Meds
    • Why taxing remittances harms families and global health care

      Dalia Saha, MD | Finance
    • How are prostate exams done and why you shouldn’t avoid them

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • Airlines’ policy ignores your do not resuscitate (DNR): Discover why and some ways to protect yourself

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
    • A dual citizen’s choice between two imperfect systems [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How pediatricians can address the health problems raised in the MAHA child health report

      Joseph Barrocas, MD | Policy

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

ADVERTISEMENT

  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Meeting transgender patients where they are: a health care imperative

      Tyler B. Evans, MD, MPH | Physician
    • How AI, animals, and ecosystems reveal a new kind of intelligence

      Fateh Entabi, MD | Tech
    • A physician employment agreement term that often tricks physicians

      Dennis Hursh, Esq | Finance
    • Why taxing remittances harms families and global health care

      Dalia Saha, MD | Finance
    • Why agency and partnership are vital in modern health care

      Alan P. Feren, MD | Physician
    • How molecular discoveries are transforming preeclampsia prediction and care

      Thomas McElrath, MD, PhD and Kara Rood, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • Forced voicemail and diagnosis codes are endangering patient access to medications

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Meds
    • How President Biden’s cognitive health shapes political and legal trust

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Conditions
    • The One Big Beautiful Bill and the fragile heart of rural health care

      Holland Haynie, MD | Policy
    • Who gets to be well in America: Immigrant health is on the line

      Joshua Vasquez, MD | Policy
    • Why specialist pain clinics and addiction treatment services require strong primary care

      Olumuyiwa Bamgbade, MD | Conditions
    • The hidden health risks in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act

      Trevor Lyford, MPH | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Why kratom addiction is the next public health crisis

      Muhamad Aly Rifai, MD | Meds
    • Why taxing remittances harms families and global health care

      Dalia Saha, MD | Finance
    • How are prostate exams done and why you shouldn’t avoid them

      Martina Ambardjieva, MD, PhD | Conditions
    • Airlines’ policy ignores your do not resuscitate (DNR): Discover why and some ways to protect yourself

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
    • A dual citizen’s choice between two imperfect systems [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How pediatricians can address the health problems raised in the MAHA child health report

      Joseph Barrocas, MD | Policy

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...