I walked into the exam room to meet with a woman recently diagnosed with breast cancer. She had undergone a PET CT scan to evaluate for the extent of her disease. She sat on the exam table, clearly very anxious and upset. She told me that she had been up most of the night with her PET scan report, Googling about different organs and language that she did not understand. She wasn’t sure if the SUV of 2.4 in her left femur was significant or not. We had already reviewed this scan at her last visit, but she still did not understand the meaning and complexity of the results.

This scene plays out in exam rooms across the country every day. We deliver complex medical information to frightened patients who then go home and fall down rabbit holes of online research, often emerging more confused and scared than when they left our offices. As physicians, we know we need to communicate better, but the “how” often eludes us in our time-pressed, burnout-heavy reality.

The challenge we face

So why is this hard? We’re seeing more patients in less time, have increasing administrative burdens, and are overwhelmed by trying to keep up our RVUs. When you have 20 minutes to explain a diagnosis, review treatment options, and provide emotional support, the temptation is to focus on the medical facts and move on.

But honestly, our patients don’t care about our constraints. They care about understanding what’s happening to them and what comes next. When we rush through explanations with medical jargon, we’re not saving time. We’re creating confusion that leads to more phone calls, more anxiety, and possibly, worse outcomes.

Compassion fatigue is real, and it affects how we connect with patients. After delivering difficult news repeatedly, we can become emotionally numb as protection. But our patients can sense when we’ve checked out emotionally, and it affects their trust in us and their treatment decisions.

Showing you care

Early in my career, when patients asked difficult questions, I would often respond with, “We’ll address that later” or “Let’s focus on the treatment plan first.” I thought I was being kind and efficient. Instead, I was shutting down the very conversations that patients needed most.

I have learned that it is best to acknowledge the question, understand what they are asking, and also what they are actually trying to understand. Then I need to answer the question.

Showing you care isn’t about having more time. It’s about being intentional and focusing on understanding patients’ concerns before explaining medical details. Lean into discomfort instead of rushing past it. Questions that make you uncomfortable are often the ones patients need answered most.

Clear is kind, unclear is unkind, as Brené Brown reminds us. When we avoid difficult conversations or speak in vague terms to soften the blow, we’re not being compassionate. We’re creating anxiety and uncertainty. Patients can handle difficult truths when they’re delivered with clarity and compassion.

Understanding what patients really need

Today’s patients arrive “informed,” but are more likely misinformed. They’ve consulted Dr. Google, joined Facebook support groups, and talked to friends who “knew someone with the same condition.” Our job isn’t to dismiss these sources of information but to help patients understand what applies to their situation.

I always ask patients, “What have you read or heard about your condition that concerns you most?” This opens the door to address misconceptions and build on information they’ve gathered. It also shows I respect their effort to understand their health.

What often gets missed is understanding what matters most to each patient. For one person, it might be attending their daughter’s wedding. For another, it might be maintaining independence. These goals should drive our treatment discussions, not just the medical possibilities.

Practical strategies that work

First, explain medical concepts in terms patients can understand. Instead of saying “metastatic disease,” try “the cancer has spread to other parts of your body.” This isn’t condescending. It ensures comprehension.

Use the teach-back method. After explaining something important, ask, “Can you tell me in your own words what we’ve discussed?” This isn’t testing the patient; it’s testing your communication.

Create space for patients to be active participants in their care. Present treatment options clearly, explain the pros and cons of each, and ask what questions they have. Avoid dictating what should be done. Instead, guide them through the decision-making process.

When emotions run high, acknowledge them. “I can see this is overwhelming” or “It’s normal to feel scared right now” validates their experience and creates connection.

Finally, end each visit by asking, “What other questions do you have?” and then wait for an answer. Often, the most important concerns come up in those final moments.

The transformation

When we communicate with clarity and compassion, something remarkable happens. Patients become partners in their care rather than passive recipients. They’re more likely to adhere to treatment plans they understand and helped create. Their anxiety decreases when uncertainty is replaced with clear information and realistic expectations.

Yes, these conversations take time. But they prevent the cascade of confusion that leads to multiple phone calls, emergency visits, and treatment delays. More importantly, they honor the human being sitting across from us.

As physicians, our calling is to heal the whole patient, not just treat their disease. In a world of increasing medical complexity, our greatest tool remains the simplest: genuine connection. When we combine our medical expertise with clear, compassionate communication, we practice medicine at our best. And we are most likely performing as the doctor that we had always intended to be.

So, the next time a patient sits across from you with fear in their eyes and questions on their lips, remember that they are not interrupting your work. They are your work. And in that moment, you have the power to transform fear into understanding, confusion into clarity, and isolation into partnership.

Tiffany Troso-Sandoval is an oncologist. Mary Remón is a counselor and certified coach.