Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

What to do if your doctor is excessively egotistical

Christopher Johnson, MD
Physician
January 20, 2020
301 Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

Egotism is a common trait among doctors, although most of us keep it under adequate control when dealing with patients. The ideal doctor-parent encounter has been described as a collaboration among equals, each of which brings expertise to the exchange; the doctor knows medicine, the parent knows the child. This is the ideal, although sometimes the reality falls short of it. The way our medical system is now structured gives more power and influence to the doctor side of the relationship than the patient side. Things were not always this way; a century ago, a surplus of doctors with treatments of doubtful usefulness scrambled to attract patients. These days, however, physicians have many more therapies that actually work, plus the benefit of an enormous medical establishment behind them. So now doctors are usually the ones deciding who gets what treatment, which is on balance a good thing. In spite of that fact, good, experienced doctors will do their best to use their power over patients lightly, always inviting parents and patients to share in the authority.

Physician egotism can get in the way of good communication in several ways. A simple manifestation is the tug-of-war over whose time is more valuable, the doctors’ or the parents’. A good example of this conflict is the doctor who schedules far more patient appointments than he can accommodate in a day, then seems unaware of how keeping a parent waiting for hours can poison the atmosphere even before the evaluation has even begun. Parents usually understand long waits when they take their child to the doctor for an unanticipated acute problem. If the waiting room is full of children just like theirs, there is little the doctor can do except see them each in turn. But the subspecialist who packs his waiting room with too many scheduled patients is proclaiming, in effect, that his time is far more valuable than that of parents, who often must take off a full day’s work to bring their child to see him.

The egotistical doctor is one who tends to forget that the patient is the center of everything, the reason the parents are there in the first place. He forgets that the encounter is about the child, not the doctor. This attitude can show itself in a persistent tendency to turn the subject of the conversation away from the child and toward the doctor. The result may be harmless, as when a garrulous doctor is genuinely trying to relax the parents and their child with a friendly conversation about other things, or it may be more toxic, as when a doctor constantly talks about himself and what he does. The latter can be particularly trying to parents who have waited a long time to see the doctor, only to find their brief time with him taken up by extraneous chatter.

Although it can be annoying to parents, excessive egotism in your child’s doctor is generally a minor issue in the big picture of getting your child the evaluation she needs. I say this because, although there are exceptions to everything, for the large majority of doctors I have met who are more egotistical than the average, their self-centeredness does not get in the way of their medical skills. In fact, some subspecialties, such as high-risk surgery, almost require the physician to have a huge ego if he is to perform such surgeries effectively.

So it is largely a matter of the personal taste of the parents. If you find yourself irritated when talking with an excessively egotistical doctor, and if you think this is interfering with his proper evaluation of your child, the best thing to do is to be persistent in turning the conversation back to your child at every opportunity. Of course, if you are really irritated by his manner or the way he treats you, do your best not to see him again.

Christopher Johnson is a pediatric intensive care physician and author of Keeping Your Kids Out of the Emergency Room: A Guide to Childhood Injuries and Illnesses, Your Critically Ill Child: Life and Death Choices Parents Must Face, How to Talk to Your Child’s Doctor: A Handbook for Parents, and How Your Child Heals: An Inside Look At Common Childhood Ailments. He blogs at his self-titled site, Christopher Johnson, MD.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Why sometimes you need to be your family's doctor

January 20, 2020 Kevin 1
…
Next

How to manage the side effects of prostate cancer treatment

January 21, 2020 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Pediatrics

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Why sometimes you need to be your family's doctor
Next Post >
How to manage the side effects of prostate cancer treatment

More by Christopher Johnson, MD

  • The success of Australian firearms regulation: What it could mean for children

    Christopher Johnson, MD
  • Do protocols and pathways improve care?

    Christopher Johnson, MD
  • Why are so many community hospitals transferring children to larger facilities?

    Christopher Johnson, MD

Related Posts

  • Osler and the doctor-patient relationship

    Leonard Wang
  • Finding a new doctor is like dating

    R. Lynn Barnett
  • Doctor, how are you, really?

    Deborah Courtney
  • Be a human first and a doctor second

    Sarah Murad
  • Becoming a doctor is the epitome of delayed gratification

    Natasha Abadilla
  • International medical graduates ease the U.S. doctor shortage

    G. Richard Olds, MD

More in Physician

  • Physician return-to-work policies

    Deepak Gupta, MD
  • How my patients’ Zoom backgrounds made me a better doctor

    Joseph Barrera, MD
  • Understanding reproductive rights: complex considerations

    Anonymous
  • Challenging the diagnosis: dehydration or bias?

    Sydney Lou Bonnick, MD
  • Practicing medicine with conviction

    Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA
  • The power of memory in shaping human identity

    Emily F. Peters and Sandeep Jauhar, MD, PhD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The erosion of patient care

      Laura de la Torre, MD | Physician
    • Challenging the diagnosis: dehydration or bias?

      Sydney Lou Bonnick, MD | Physician
    • COVID-19 unleashed an ongoing crisis of delirium in hospitals

      Christina Reppas-Rindlisbacher, MD, Nathan Stall, MD, and Paula Rochon, MD | Conditions
    • Air quality alert: Reducing our carbon footprint in health care

      Shreya Aggarwal, MD | Conditions
    • A teenager’s perspective: the pressing need for mental health days in schools

      Ruhi Saldanha | Conditions
    • Physician return-to-work policies

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Medical gaslighting: a growing challenge in today’s medical landscape

      Tami Burdick | Conditions
    • I want to be a doctor who can provide care for women: What states must I rule out for my medical education?

      Nandini Erodula | Education
    • Balancing opioid medication in chronic pain

      L. Joseph Parker, MD | Conditions
    • The erosion of patient care

      Laura de la Torre, MD | Physician
    • Reigniting after burnout: 3 physician stories

      Kim Downey, PT | Physician
    • Mourning the silent epidemic: the physician suicide crisis and suggestions for change

      Amna Shabbir, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Physician return-to-work policies

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Physician
    • Communication, power dynamics, and organizational culture in health care

      Beth Boynton, RN, MS, CP | Conditions
    • How my patients’ Zoom backgrounds made me a better doctor

      Joseph Barrera, MD | Physician
    • Understanding reproductive rights: complex considerations

      Anonymous | Physician
    • Innovations in surgical education [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Everyday dangers unknowingly impacting our health

      Tami Burdick | Conditions

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 2 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • FDA OKs Another Injectable for Rare Kidney Disorder
  • Loneliness Tied to Subsequent Parkinson's Risk
  • A Promising New Approach to Reducing Burnout and Workforce Depletion
  • ABIM CEO Retirement Comes Amid Wave of Criticism
  • Recent Developments in Crohn's Disease

Meeting Coverage

  • Hot Flashes: Precursor to Alzheimer's Disease?
  • SABR Offers New Hope for Older Patients With Inoperable Kidney Cancer
  • Menopausal Women With Obesity Endure Worse Symptoms, Less HT Relief
  • Study Pinpoints Growing Use of Cannabis to Manage Menopause Symptoms
  • Fezolinetant Benefits Women Not Suited for Hormone Therapy
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The erosion of patient care

      Laura de la Torre, MD | Physician
    • Challenging the diagnosis: dehydration or bias?

      Sydney Lou Bonnick, MD | Physician
    • COVID-19 unleashed an ongoing crisis of delirium in hospitals

      Christina Reppas-Rindlisbacher, MD, Nathan Stall, MD, and Paula Rochon, MD | Conditions
    • Air quality alert: Reducing our carbon footprint in health care

      Shreya Aggarwal, MD | Conditions
    • A teenager’s perspective: the pressing need for mental health days in schools

      Ruhi Saldanha | Conditions
    • Physician return-to-work policies

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Medical gaslighting: a growing challenge in today’s medical landscape

      Tami Burdick | Conditions
    • I want to be a doctor who can provide care for women: What states must I rule out for my medical education?

      Nandini Erodula | Education
    • Balancing opioid medication in chronic pain

      L. Joseph Parker, MD | Conditions
    • The erosion of patient care

      Laura de la Torre, MD | Physician
    • Reigniting after burnout: 3 physician stories

      Kim Downey, PT | Physician
    • Mourning the silent epidemic: the physician suicide crisis and suggestions for change

      Amna Shabbir, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Physician return-to-work policies

      Deepak Gupta, MD | Physician
    • Communication, power dynamics, and organizational culture in health care

      Beth Boynton, RN, MS, CP | Conditions
    • How my patients’ Zoom backgrounds made me a better doctor

      Joseph Barrera, MD | Physician
    • Understanding reproductive rights: complex considerations

      Anonymous | Physician
    • Innovations in surgical education [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Everyday dangers unknowingly impacting our health

      Tami Burdick | Conditions

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

What to do if your doctor is excessively egotistical
2 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...