Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

What to do if your doctor is excessively egotistical

Christopher Johnson, MD
Physician
January 20, 2020
301 Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

Egotism is a common trait among doctors, although most of us keep it under adequate control when dealing with patients. The ideal doctor-parent encounter has been described as a collaboration among equals, each of which brings expertise to the exchange; the doctor knows medicine, the parent knows the child. This is the ideal, although sometimes the reality falls short of it. The way our medical system is now structured gives more power and influence to the doctor side of the relationship than the patient side. Things were not always this way; a century ago, a surplus of doctors with treatments of doubtful usefulness scrambled to attract patients. These days, however, physicians have many more therapies that actually work, plus the benefit of an enormous medical establishment behind them. So now doctors are usually the ones deciding who gets what treatment, which is on balance a good thing. In spite of that fact, good, experienced doctors will do their best to use their power over patients lightly, always inviting parents and patients to share in the authority.

Physician egotism can get in the way of good communication in several ways. A simple manifestation is the tug-of-war over whose time is more valuable, the doctors’ or the parents’. A good example of this conflict is the doctor who schedules far more patient appointments than he can accommodate in a day, then seems unaware of how keeping a parent waiting for hours can poison the atmosphere even before the evaluation has even begun. Parents usually understand long waits when they take their child to the doctor for an unanticipated acute problem. If the waiting room is full of children just like theirs, there is little the doctor can do except see them each in turn. But the subspecialist who packs his waiting room with too many scheduled patients is proclaiming, in effect, that his time is far more valuable than that of parents, who often must take off a full day’s work to bring their child to see him.

The egotistical doctor is one who tends to forget that the patient is the center of everything, the reason the parents are there in the first place. He forgets that the encounter is about the child, not the doctor. This attitude can show itself in a persistent tendency to turn the subject of the conversation away from the child and toward the doctor. The result may be harmless, as when a garrulous doctor is genuinely trying to relax the parents and their child with a friendly conversation about other things, or it may be more toxic, as when a doctor constantly talks about himself and what he does. The latter can be particularly trying to parents who have waited a long time to see the doctor, only to find their brief time with him taken up by extraneous chatter.

Although it can be annoying to parents, excessive egotism in your child’s doctor is generally a minor issue in the big picture of getting your child the evaluation she needs. I say this because, although there are exceptions to everything, for the large majority of doctors I have met who are more egotistical than the average, their self-centeredness does not get in the way of their medical skills. In fact, some subspecialties, such as high-risk surgery, almost require the physician to have a huge ego if he is to perform such surgeries effectively.

So it is largely a matter of the personal taste of the parents. If you find yourself irritated when talking with an excessively egotistical doctor, and if you think this is interfering with his proper evaluation of your child, the best thing to do is to be persistent in turning the conversation back to your child at every opportunity. Of course, if you are really irritated by his manner or the way he treats you, do your best not to see him again.

Christopher Johnson is a pediatric intensive care physician and author of Keeping Your Kids Out of the Emergency Room: A Guide to Childhood Injuries and Illnesses, Your Critically Ill Child: Life and Death Choices Parents Must Face, How to Talk to Your Child’s Doctor: A Handbook for Parents, and How Your Child Heals: An Inside Look At Common Childhood Ailments. He blogs at his self-titled site, Christopher Johnson, MD.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Why sometimes you need to be your family's doctor

January 20, 2020 Kevin 1
…
Next

How to manage the side effects of prostate cancer treatment

January 21, 2020 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Pediatrics

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Why sometimes you need to be your family's doctor
Next Post >
How to manage the side effects of prostate cancer treatment

More by Christopher Johnson, MD

  • The success of Australian firearms regulation: What it could mean for children

    Christopher Johnson, MD
  • Do protocols and pathways improve care?

    Christopher Johnson, MD
  • Why are so many community hospitals transferring children to larger facilities?

    Christopher Johnson, MD

Related Posts

  • Osler and the doctor-patient relationship

    Leonard Wang
  • Finding a new doctor is like dating

    R. Lynn Barnett
  • Doctor, how are you, really?

    Deborah Courtney
  • Be a human first and a doctor second

    Sarah Murad
  • Becoming a doctor is the epitome of delayed gratification

    Natasha Abadilla
  • International medical graduates ease the U.S. doctor shortage

    G. Richard Olds, MD

More in Physician

  • Unlearning our habits: a journey from intelligence to wisdom

    Brian Sayers, MD
  • Beyond pizza and pens: National Doctors’ Day should be about saving lives

    James Young, MD
  • Maximizing physician potential: How coaching can aid in conflict resolution, enhance health care leadership and build stronger teams

    Asha Padmanabhan, MD
  • Physicians are a finite resource we need to protect

    Jack Resneck, Jr., MD
  • Tom Brady’s legacy and the importance of personal integrity in end-of-life choices

    Kevin Haselhorst, MD
  • The hidden truths of hospital life: What doctors wish you knew

    Emily Stanford, DO
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • What is driving physicians to the edge of despair?

      Edward T. Creagan, MD | Physician
    • The untold struggles patients face with resident doctors

      Denise Reich | Conditions
    • Beyond pizza and pens: National Doctors’ Day should be about saving lives

      James Young, MD | Physician
    • Physicians are a finite resource we need to protect

      Jack Resneck, Jr., MD | Physician
    • From clocking in to clocking out: the transition to retirement

      Debbie Moore-Black, RN | Conditions
    • Unlearning our habits: a journey from intelligence to wisdom

      Brian Sayers, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • The real cause of America’s opioid crisis: Doctors are not to blame

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Meds
    • Nobody wants this job. Should physicians stick around?

      Katie Klingberg, MD | Physician
    • The vital importance of climate change education in medical schools

      Helen Kim, MD | Policy
    • The fight for reproductive health: Why medication abortion matters

      Catherine Hennessey, MD | Physician
    • Resetting the doctor-patient relationship: Navigating the challenges of modern primary care

      Jeffrey H. Millstein, MD | Physician
    • It’s time for C-suite to contract directly with physicians for part-time work

      Aaron Morgenstein, MD & Corinne Sundar Rao, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Unlearning our habits: a journey from intelligence to wisdom

      Brian Sayers, MD | Physician
    • Lessons from an orthopedic surgery journey [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Beyond pizza and pens: National Doctors’ Day should be about saving lives

      James Young, MD | Physician
    • Maximizing physician potential: How coaching can aid in conflict resolution, enhance health care leadership and build stronger teams

      Asha Padmanabhan, MD | Physician
    • The future of education: AI empowerment, YouTube college credits, and the impact on traditional colleges

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Tech
    • The beauty of a patient’s gratitude

      Dr. Damane Zehra | Conditions

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 2 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • Moderna's Steep COVID Vaccine Price: Corporate Greed or Capitalism?
  • House Republican Argues Against FDA Budget Increase
  • Prescriptions for Stimulants Jumped During the Pandemic
  • Federal Judge Strikes Down ACA's Preventive Care Coverage Requirements
  • Pandemic Jump in ED Visits for Firearm Injuries Continued Into 2022

Meeting Coverage

  • VTE Risk in Recurrent Ovarian Cancer Increases With More Lines of Chemotherapy
  • Obesity's Impact on Uterine Cancer Risk Greater in Younger Age Groups
  • Oral Roflumilast Effective in the Treatment of Plaque Psoriasis
  • Phase III Trials 'Hit a Home Run' in Advanced Endometrial Cancer
  • Cannabis Use Common in Post-Surgery Patients on Opioid Tapering
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • What is driving physicians to the edge of despair?

      Edward T. Creagan, MD | Physician
    • The untold struggles patients face with resident doctors

      Denise Reich | Conditions
    • Beyond pizza and pens: National Doctors’ Day should be about saving lives

      James Young, MD | Physician
    • Physicians are a finite resource we need to protect

      Jack Resneck, Jr., MD | Physician
    • From clocking in to clocking out: the transition to retirement

      Debbie Moore-Black, RN | Conditions
    • Unlearning our habits: a journey from intelligence to wisdom

      Brian Sayers, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • The real cause of America’s opioid crisis: Doctors are not to blame

      Richard A. Lawhern, PhD | Meds
    • Nobody wants this job. Should physicians stick around?

      Katie Klingberg, MD | Physician
    • The vital importance of climate change education in medical schools

      Helen Kim, MD | Policy
    • The fight for reproductive health: Why medication abortion matters

      Catherine Hennessey, MD | Physician
    • Resetting the doctor-patient relationship: Navigating the challenges of modern primary care

      Jeffrey H. Millstein, MD | Physician
    • It’s time for C-suite to contract directly with physicians for part-time work

      Aaron Morgenstein, MD & Corinne Sundar Rao, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Unlearning our habits: a journey from intelligence to wisdom

      Brian Sayers, MD | Physician
    • Lessons from an orthopedic surgery journey [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Beyond pizza and pens: National Doctors’ Day should be about saving lives

      James Young, MD | Physician
    • Maximizing physician potential: How coaching can aid in conflict resolution, enhance health care leadership and build stronger teams

      Asha Padmanabhan, MD | Physician
    • The future of education: AI empowerment, YouTube college credits, and the impact on traditional colleges

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Tech
    • The beauty of a patient’s gratitude

      Dr. Damane Zehra | Conditions

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today iMedicalApps
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

What to do if your doctor is excessively egotistical
2 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...