Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

What to do with disparaging doctors

Christopher Johnson, MD
Physician
July 5, 2019
173 Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

Doctors who disparage, or even ridicule, what parents tell them are, fortunately, rare. Nevertheless, sometimes parents may infer from what the doctor says or how he acts that he does not value what they are telling him, even though he did not mean to imply such a thing. All physicians have had the experience of overly touchy parents inappropriately assuming from our questions that we do not respect their ability to give a useful answer. This is prone to happen in situations where parents, already agitated over their child’s illness, are concerned that the doctor believes at least part of their child’s problem stems from what the parents did or did not do. A good, experienced physician easily senses this defensiveness in parents and does or says things to reassure them; the disparaging physician does not bother, since he assumes parents are usually part of the problem anyway.

Doctors with this kind of poor communication skill overlap those who are disbelievers, since both place little stock in what parents are telling them. The disparager is a little different from the disbeliever, however. Whereas the latter may actually be contemptuous of parents’ ability to give a good history, the former usually carries in his manner some of the old medical paternalism; the doctor knows best, and the parents know very little that is helpful, but that is not their fault—they cannot help themselves.

Parents may meet a doctor with this attitude, although, truth to tell, such a physician is more often identified out of parental earshot, since most have the good sense and manners not to act in an obviously disparaging way toward parents. These doctors generally confine their comments to colleagues or nursing staff, although they are occasionally surprised by how good parents’ hearing is through a partly open examining room door.

What should you do if you meet such a doctor? Unfortunately, and as with the related category of the disbelieving physician, you as a parent can do little to change this doctor’s personality type. You can, however, be aware of what is happening with the interpersonal dynamics of the medical interview. This insight should be all you need to understand that the doctor’s disparaging manner is not about you, the parent; it is about him, the doctor, and he probably behaves in a similar way to many other parents and patients. Try not to take it personally. Besides, as long as his medical skills are up to the task, he is still probably a good source to give the care your child needs.

You will not be surprised to learn that doctors who are disparaging toward parents are also often disparaging toward their medical and nursing colleagues. This can make parents uncomfortable as when, for example, a doctor who is seeing their child criticizes what other doctors have said or done. It is one thing to be honest and open with parents; doctors should not conceal from them things they have a right to know. But it is quite another thing to denigrate one’s professional peers. Doctors who habitually do this often seem to do so in order to make themselves look more important in parents’ eyes. You should be wary of participating in such a conversation.

Christopher Johnson is a pediatric intensive care physician and author of Keeping Your Kids Out of the Emergency Room: A Guide to Childhood Injuries and Illnesses, Your Critically Ill Child: Life and Death Choices Parents Must Face, How to Talk to Your Child’s Doctor: A Handbook for Parents, and How Your Child Heals: An Inside Look At Common Childhood Ailments. He blogs at his self-titled site, Christopher Johnson, MD.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Understanding the distinction between universal health care and a single-payer system is critical

July 4, 2019 Kevin 13
…
Next

8 incredible side effects of being debt free

July 5, 2019 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Pediatrics, Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Understanding the distinction between universal health care and a single-payer system is critical
Next Post >
8 incredible side effects of being debt free

More by Christopher Johnson, MD

  • The success of Australian firearms regulation: What it could mean for children

    Christopher Johnson, MD
  • Do protocols and pathways improve care?

    Christopher Johnson, MD
  • Why are so many community hospitals transferring children to larger facilities?

    Christopher Johnson, MD

Related Posts

  • Doctors die. But the good ones leave a legacy.

    Jaime B. Gerber, MD
  • Why do doctors who hate being doctors still practice?

    Kristin Puhl, MD
  • Doctors: It’s time to unionize

    Thomas D. Guastavino, MD
  • When doctors are right

    Sophia Zilber
  • A physician’s addiction to social media

    Amanda Xi, MD
  • We’re doctors. We signed the book.

    Jonathan Peters, MD

More in Physician

  • Master time management with 7 productivity strategies for optimal results

    Farzana Hoque, MD
  • The tragic story of Mr. G: a painful journey towards understanding suicide

    William Lynes, MD
  • The escalating violence in health care workplaces: a critical problem facing the nation’s health care system

    Harry Severance, MD
  • Is chaos in health care leading us towards socialized medicine? How physician burnout is a catalyst.

    Howard Smith, MD
  • Why allowing yourself to embrace discomfort is necessary for personal growth

    Jillian Rigert, MD, DMD
  • Unconventional health care, flawed studies, and biases: Navigating the complexities for optimal well-being

    Kara Wada, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

      Cindy Rubin, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors aren’t to blame for the U.S. opioid crisis [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
    • We need a new Hippocratic Oath that puts patient autonomy first

      Jeffrey A. Singer, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Empowering Black nurses for lasting change [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Master time management with 7 productivity strategies for optimal results

      Farzana Hoque, MD | Physician
    • Proposed USPSTF guideline update: Advocating for earlier breast cancer screening at age 40

      Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian | Conditions
    • The rising threat of lung cancer in Asian American female nonsmokers

      Alice S. Y. Lee, MD | Conditions
    • The tragic story of Mr. G: a painful journey towards understanding suicide

      William Lynes, MD | Physician
    • Healing trauma and reconnecting: Unmasking the impact of dissociation [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 4 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • What Was Tied to Lower Long COVID Risk?
  • Chemo-Free Approach Works in Subset of Patients With HER2+ Early Breast Cancer
  • Two-Drug Combo Wins for Refractory Gout
  • First-in-Class Sjogren's Drug Passes Mid-Stage Test
  • Pricey Drug Combo Boosts PFS in First-Line Advanced Ovarian Cancer

Meeting Coverage

  • Chemo-Free Approach Works in Subset of Patients With HER2+ Early Breast Cancer
  • Two-Drug Combo Wins for Refractory Gout
  • First-in-Class Sjogren's Drug Passes Mid-Stage Test
  • Pricey Drug Combo Boosts PFS in First-Line Advanced Ovarian Cancer
  • Cardiovascular Risk Models Still Fall Short for Arthritis Patients
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

      Cindy Rubin, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors aren’t to blame for the U.S. opioid crisis [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
    • We need a new Hippocratic Oath that puts patient autonomy first

      Jeffrey A. Singer, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Empowering Black nurses for lasting change [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Master time management with 7 productivity strategies for optimal results

      Farzana Hoque, MD | Physician
    • Proposed USPSTF guideline update: Advocating for earlier breast cancer screening at age 40

      Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian | Conditions
    • The rising threat of lung cancer in Asian American female nonsmokers

      Alice S. Y. Lee, MD | Conditions
    • The tragic story of Mr. G: a painful journey towards understanding suicide

      William Lynes, MD | Physician
    • Healing trauma and reconnecting: Unmasking the impact of dissociation [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

What to do with disparaging doctors
4 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...