Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Female physicians: You’re lucky to be here

Allie Gips, MD
Physician
July 14, 2018
4K Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

Never touch your hair. It cannot be down, and it cannot look fancy. Optional styles include bun, ponytail, or braid. I might as well shave it off! I hear you thinking it – we’ve all thought it – but it’s wrong. The only thing worse than looking like a woman that’s too hot is looking like you’re not a woman at all. Woman? Sorry, I meant girl.

Never touch your phone. Male doctors who touch their phones are using them as information gathering and analyzing devices. They are on the cutting edge of technology and medicine. They are basically Steve Jobs in a white coat.

Not you. Girl doctors who touch their phones are texting their boyfriends. Worse, they’re texting their babysitters. How’s Amy doing in the NICU? Have they taken her off the ventilator yet? This is the problem with girl doctors. They are very distracted. They are not committed to the cause.

Do not take a lunch break. They will assume that you are breastfeeding. Don’t have a baby? Doesn’t matter. Maybe you are breastfeeding yourself. On this note, do not take maternity leave. Maternity leave places an unfair burden on those around you. Think of the patients, after all. You’re in the caring profession. Plus, you work at a hospital; just have the baby during your lunch break! (Though, like we said, do not take a lunch break. They will assume you are birthing a baby.)

Names you should learn to answer to: sweetheart, nurse, honey, baby, nurse, miss, nurse, and nurse. Oh, you think as long as you introduce yourself as doctor it will be OK? Listen. We’ve tried everything. White coats, name tags the size of a road sign, a bright red badge with MD in bold letters … some glass ceilings are just not made to be broken. You’re gonna be nurse till the day you die, sweetie.

That said: Do not wear nursing scrubs. There are scrubs for nurses and scrubs for doctors, and this is how the hierarchy stays intact. Scrubs for nurses are made for women, and so they fit women’s bodies. Scrubs for doctors are unisex, and so they fit men’s bodies.

Don’t worry, though. Even though you are wearing the baggiest cotton pajamas possible, your patients and colleagues will still find your body worthy of their attention and admiration. When they offer up their words of praise about your ass or your boobs while you are fulfilling your professional responsibilities, make sure to be polite in your response. They’re just being nice! Learn to take a compliment. Learn to smile. Didn’t they teach you anything in nursing school?

Wait, what? Medical school? You’re a nurse and a doctor?!

Never cry. Never look like you’re about to cry. Never look like you just cried. Never appear cold or emotionless. There’s only one emotion for you, and that’s gratitude. You’re lucky to be here, baby.

Allie Gips is an emergency physician.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Patients are more than lab results

July 14, 2018 Kevin 0
…
Next

How employers and plan sponsors can save the U.S. workforce from opioids

July 14, 2018 Kevin 1
…

Tagged as: Emergency Medicine

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Patients are more than lab results
Next Post >
How employers and plan sponsors can save the U.S. workforce from opioids

More by Allie Gips, MD

  • A patient gives the gift of poop

    Allie Gips, MD

Related Posts

  • Are patients using social media to attack physicians?

    David R. Stukus, MD
  • The risk physicians take when going on social media

    Anonymous
  • Beware of pseudoscience: The desperate need for physicians on social media

    Valerie A. Jones, MD
  • When physicians are cyberbullied: an interview with ZDoggMD

    Monique Tello, MD
  • Surprising and unlikely rewards of social media engagement by physicians

    Lisa Chan, MD
  • Physicians who don’t play the social media game may be left behind

    Xrayvsn, MD

More in Physician

  • The escalating violence in health care workplaces: a critical problem facing the nation’s health care system

    Harry Severance, MD
  • Is chaos in health care leading us towards socialized medicine? How physician burnout is a catalyst.

    Howard Smith, MD
  • Why allowing yourself to embrace discomfort is necessary for personal growth

    Jillian Rigert, MD, DMD
  • Unconventional health care, flawed studies, and biases: Navigating the complexities for optimal well-being

    Kara Wada, MD
  • Finding your ideal work-life balance: tips for prioritizing personal life and achieving professional success

    Zahid Awan, MD
  • Boxing legends Tyson and Foreman: powerful lessons for a resilient and evolving health care future

    Harvey Castro, MD, MBA
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

      Cindy Rubin, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors aren’t to blame for the U.S. opioid crisis [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
    • We need a new Hippocratic Oath that puts patient autonomy first

      Jeffrey A. Singer, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Healing trauma and reconnecting: Unmasking the impact of dissociation [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why the WHO’s pandemic accord is critical for global health care

      Elizabeth Métraux | Policy
    • The revolutionary Kaiser-Geisinger deal: How health care giants are reshaping the industry and empowering patients

      Robert Pearl, MD | Policy
    • The escalating violence in health care workplaces: a critical problem facing the nation’s health care system

      Harry Severance, MD | Physician
    • Is chaos in health care leading us towards socialized medicine? How physician burnout is a catalyst.

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • A pediatrician’s journey into integrative medicine [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 34 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • Could Semaglutide Help Curb Addictive Behaviors?
  • 'If the Narcan Isn't Working, Give More' and Other Myths About Naloxone Use
  • CDC: Children's Brain Infections Rose Last Winter, But Remained Rare
  • Inside the Fight Against Burnout Amid the Chaos of War in Ukraine
  • Cardiovascular Risk Models Still Fall Short for Arthritis Patients

Meeting Coverage

  • Cardiovascular Risk Models Still Fall Short for Arthritis Patients
  • De-Escalated Surgery Suffices for Low-Risk Cervical Cancer
  • More Evidence Backs Gout Benefit for Gliflozin Agents
  • Reaction to FDA's Approval of Upadacitinib for Crohn's Disease
  • CDK4/6 Extends Reach Into Early-Stage Breast Cancer
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

      Cindy Rubin, MD | Physician
    • Why doctors aren’t to blame for the U.S. opioid crisis [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
    • We need a new Hippocratic Oath that puts patient autonomy first

      Jeffrey A. Singer, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Healing trauma and reconnecting: Unmasking the impact of dissociation [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Why the WHO’s pandemic accord is critical for global health care

      Elizabeth Métraux | Policy
    • The revolutionary Kaiser-Geisinger deal: How health care giants are reshaping the industry and empowering patients

      Robert Pearl, MD | Policy
    • The escalating violence in health care workplaces: a critical problem facing the nation’s health care system

      Harry Severance, MD | Physician
    • Is chaos in health care leading us towards socialized medicine? How physician burnout is a catalyst.

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
    • A pediatrician’s journey into integrative medicine [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Female physicians: You’re lucky to be here
34 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...