Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Your patient is angry. Here are 5 things physicians can do.

Suneel Dhand, MD
Physician
September 5, 2017
461 Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

It’s a scenario that every doctor is familiar with. You are having a busy day and working full steam to get everyone better. You suddenly receive that unexpected message: “Mr. Johnson and his family are very upset and would like to speak with you now.”

Most of the time, any physician’s initial reaction will be one of irritation, disappointment or frustration: “My goodness, I’m working so hard here, and we have done so much for Mr. Johnson … What on earth could they be upset about?!” “They are so ungrateful!” “Such difficult people!”

This is such an important moment, because when anyone (not just a physician) perceives that someone else may be attacking them or their work, the natural default human reaction is to become defensive, angry, or worse still — attack back. It’s a moment in many a physician’s day which they don’t handle as well as they could. This is for a number of reasons, including sadly a lack of communication skills training for medical students and physicians.

Here are the golden rules for when any doctor gets that inevitable call about the angry or upset patient or family member:

1. Take a deep breath. Dealing with this is part of a physician’s job description. You are working in an emotionally charged field and meeting people at very low points in their lives. We must cut them, and their families, some slack in the emotions department. Being ill is a traumatic event, their whole life has been turned upside down, and they are frequently not themselves

2. Do your homework before meeting. Try to get a handle (usually from the nurse) about what the problem is. Then familiarize yourself with all details of the illness and treatment strategy before walking into the room.

3. Listen. When you enter the room, walk in calmly and confidently. If you know what the problem is and it’s appropriate, apologize for what has happened immediately. Or you can say something like, “Sorry for the misunderstanding” or “Sorry that this has happened.” Then comes a: “Tell me what happened” statement. Ask them to explain what transpired and how they feel. Just listen, listen, listen. Absorb everything. Don’t speak.

4. Go over things again. After they have had a chance to speak, it’s your turn. Summarize succinctly what happened again, apologize for any mishaps, and then tell them how the situation will be corrected. Formulate a clear strategy and emphasize that you are now looking ahead to the future. Ask them what else they think you can specifically do to help.

5. Close the loop. Don’t just disappear afterward! Check in with them again either later the same day (ideally), or the day after, to make sure everything has been addressed and to show that you care.

Three things you should never do include: acting defensively, dismissing a concern, or escalating the situation by aggressively defending the situation — no matter how you feel.

It’s my observation after years of practice that only a handful of people out there are really unreasonable. Well over 90 percent of the time, patient and family concerns and complaints have a solid basis.

By utilizing the right communication techniques, almost any angry or tense situation can be quickly calmed down. Get it wrong, however, and things can spiral out of control very quickly. Ultimately, these suggestions would work in any customer service situation when you need to diffuse a situation — whether you are a doctor, a restauranteur, or a hotel manager (and even in your personal life too!). People are people, and the same emotions always apply, as do the skills for dealing with them. Never under any circumstances respond to anger with anger, which only serves to pour fuel on the fire. Don’t just react, but choose how you respond. Or as the famous neurologist and psychiatrist (and Holocaust survivor) Dr. Viktor Frankl said: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” Deliberately go into the “zone” of being the active listener and problem solver, always showing the empathy and compassion of the good doctor.

Suneel Dhand is an internal medicine physician and author of three books, including Thomas Jefferson: Lessons from a Secret Buddha. He is the founder and director, HealthITImprove, and blogs at his self-titled site, DocThinx.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

A way to stop social isolation? Beer.

September 5, 2017 Kevin 3
…
Next

3 unconscious things you might be doing that affect your patients

September 6, 2017 Kevin 0
…

Tagged as: Hospital-Based Medicine, Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
A way to stop social isolation? Beer.
Next Post >
3 unconscious things you might be doing that affect your patients

More by Suneel Dhand, MD

  • The dream patient that makes a doctor very happy

    Suneel Dhand, MD
  • When the family wants to speak to the doctor

    Suneel Dhand, MD
  • 3 reasons why patients are unhappy

    Suneel Dhand, MD

Related Posts

  • Physicians are trapped between patient satisfaction and unnecessary prescribing

    Richard Young, MD
  • A patient’s open letter to aspiring physicians

    David Penner
  • Patient bias may endanger both physicians of today and the future

    Olamide Omidele
  • Are patients using social media to attack physicians?

    David R. Stukus, MD
  • The risk physicians take when going on social media

    Anonymous
  • Beware of pseudoscience: The desperate need for physicians on social media

    Valerie A. Jones, MD

More in Physician

  • Finding your ideal work-life balance: tips for prioritizing personal life and achieving professional success

    Zahid Awan, MD
  • Boxing legends Tyson and Foreman: powerful lessons for a resilient and evolving health care future

    Harvey Castro, MD, MBA
  • 7 ways to beat burnout: a guide for health care professionals to reduce stress and reclaim their passion

    Marie Livesey, DO
  • Heartwarming stories of cancer patients teaching us about life and the human spirit

    Johnathan Yao, MD, MPH
  • We need a new Hippocratic Oath that puts patient autonomy first

    Jeffrey A. Singer, MD
  • The meaning of death in medicine: the role of compassionate care in end-of-life patient care

    Ton La, Jr., MD, JD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Why affirmative action is crucial for health equity and social justice in medicine

      Katrina Gipson, MD, MPH | Policy
    • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
    • Why doctors aren’t to blame for the U.S. opioid crisis [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Nose-brain connection: The surprising link between allergies and mental health revealed

      Kara Wada, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Medical errors and the power of apologies [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Finding your ideal work-life balance: tips for prioritizing personal life and achieving professional success

      Zahid Awan, MD | Physician
    • Boxing legends Tyson and Foreman: powerful lessons for a resilient and evolving health care future

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Physician
    • 7 ways to beat burnout: a guide for health care professionals to reduce stress and reclaim their passion

      Marie Livesey, DO | Physician
    • The unjust reality of racial disparities in pediatric kidney transplants

      Lien Morcate | Conditions
    • The pros and cons of taking a gap year during medical school

      Med School Insiders | Education, Sponsored

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 1 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • Long COVID Cognitive, Depressive Symptoms Tied to Brain Inflammation Marker
  • 'Practice Changing' Trial on Activity Recs After Prolapse Surgery
  • What's With the Buzz Around NAD+ Injections?
  • Standing, Walking After Major Surgery Tied to Less Risk of Post-Op Complications
  • Tenapanor Improves Abdominal Symptoms in Patients With IBS-C

Meeting Coverage

  • Tenapanor Improves Abdominal Symptoms in Patients With IBS-C
  • Benefits Found for Hand OA Drug Treatments
  • MRI-Based Screening May Detect Prostate Cancer Earlier
  • New Model Aims to Study Intestinal Fibrosis in Crohn's Disease
  • Hypertension Tied to Worse Survival After Surgery for Upper Tract Urothelial Cancers
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Why affirmative action is crucial for health equity and social justice in medicine

      Katrina Gipson, MD, MPH | Policy
    • Unlocking the secrets of cancer conferences: an end-of-life counselor’s journey among pharmaceutical giants

      Althea Halchuck, EJD | Conditions
    • Why doctors aren’t to blame for the U.S. opioid crisis [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Nose-brain connection: The surprising link between allergies and mental health revealed

      Kara Wada, MD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
  • Recent Posts

    • Medical errors and the power of apologies [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Finding your ideal work-life balance: tips for prioritizing personal life and achieving professional success

      Zahid Awan, MD | Physician
    • Boxing legends Tyson and Foreman: powerful lessons for a resilient and evolving health care future

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Physician
    • 7 ways to beat burnout: a guide for health care professionals to reduce stress and reclaim their passion

      Marie Livesey, DO | Physician
    • The unjust reality of racial disparities in pediatric kidney transplants

      Lien Morcate | Conditions
    • The pros and cons of taking a gap year during medical school

      Med School Insiders | Education, Sponsored

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Your patient is angry. Here are 5 things physicians can do.
1 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...