Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

How do I fix communication with my patients?

Jordan Grumet, MD
Physician
February 6, 2017
116 Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

There is a basic communication gap between you and me. How could there not be? It’s not what you expect. I say you have cancer, or heart failure, or emphysema. Full stop. A conversation ensues. This is not what I’m talking about.

It’s more like when I report to you a series of normal lab results, and at the end flippantly mention a slight elevation of the white blood cell count. In my mind, it is a minor issue and likely due to that viral infection that you are recovering from. As the days pass, my words simmer and eventually come to a boil, consuming you. The elevation could be leukemia after all. You could be dying. You could be like your uncle Stew who went to the office for routine blood tests and was gone a week later. You search the Internet and are confused by what you see. You wait anxiously to repeat the blood tests four weeks later.

The white blood cell count comes back normal. You are relieved and tired. It has been a long and scary four weeks.

And I had no idea that you even suffered through this. I apologize. The problem with familiarity is that it is easy to forget perspective. I have spent the last few decades becoming intimately familiar with the ebb and flow of wayward lab results. And you have not. Frankly, I sometimes forget to look at my words, my utterances, through your eyes. The big stuff, sure. But it’s the minor and less tangible that escapes scrutiny.

God knows, there are also many other barriers. I am rushing off the phone to get back to the call from the emergency room. We are separated by an electronic elephant in the room that stubbornly inserts itself between us, and blocks my view. There are boxes and checks to be marked, and I am stuck trying to figure out whether you are a Pacific Islander, while you just want to talk about your chest pain.

Per usual, I don’t have adequate answers to this conundrum. Sometimes the gulf is overwhelmingly vast. Although I take full responsibility, I doubt that I will always be attuned to which of my words affect you so. Unfortunately, my experience will still color me blind from time to time.

But going forward there is one minor adjustment I will pledge to make. One way we can work together as a team.

At the end of every visit, every phone conversation, I will train myself to ask:

Tell me what questions you have? What haven’t I made clear?

Then, I will pause.

And you will answer.

Jordan Grumet is an internal medicine physician who blogs at In My Humble Opinion. Watch his talk at dotMED 2013, Caring 2.0: Social Media and the Rise Of The Empathic Physician. He is the author of I Am Your Doctor: and This Is My Humble Opinion.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Building a career and a life around the difficult moments

February 6, 2017 Kevin 0
…
Next

If you go to medical school, you will be stressed. Bigly.

February 6, 2017 Kevin 12
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Building a career and a life around the difficult moments
Next Post >
If you go to medical school, you will be stressed. Bigly.

More by Jordan Grumet, MD

  • A hospice doctor’s advice on getting your finances in order

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • A story of persistence in the face of death

    Jordan Grumet, MD
  • When a physician gets yelled at

    Jordan Grumet, MD

Related Posts

  • 4 tips for better communication with patients

    Subha Mohan
  • Are patients using social media to attack physicians?

    David R. Stukus, MD
  • You are abandoning your patients if you are not active on social media

    Pat Rich
  • Physician Suicide Awareness Day: Where are the patients? 

    Jennifer M. Sweeney
  • Cancer patients who want to take unproven supplements

    Marc Braunstein, MD, PhD
  • Is physician shadowing immoral?

    David Penner

More in Physician

  • The shifting landscape of gastroenterology manpower and compensation

    Brian Hudes, MD
  • Surgical procedures for inpatients: Addressing socioeconomic urgencies

    Deepak Gupta, MD
  • I’m a doctor, and I almost died during childbirth

    Bayo Curry-Winchell, MD
  • A message of hope for physicians

    Kim Downey, PT
  • From aversion to office politics to embracing independence

    Osmund Agbo, MD
  • Navigating medical decision-making: Embracing limits and growth

    Benjamin Wade Frush, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • I want to be a doctor who can provide care for women: What states must I rule out for my medical education?

      Nandini Erodula | Education
    • Unveiling excessive medical billing and greed

      Amol Saxena, DPM, MPH | Policy
    • I’m a doctor, and I almost died during childbirth

      Bayo Curry-Winchell, MD | Physician
    • Ethical considerations in medicine: unity and open discourse

      Andrew Zywiec, MD | Physician
    • Man’s search for meaning is spiritual, and relevant to medicine

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Physician
    • The shifting landscape of gastroenterology manpower and compensation

      Brian Hudes, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Medical gaslighting: a growing challenge in today’s medical landscape

      Tami Burdick | Conditions
    • Balancing opioid medication in chronic pain

      L. Joseph Parker, MD | Conditions
    • I want to be a doctor who can provide care for women: What states must I rule out for my medical education?

      Nandini Erodula | Education
    • Navigating the broken medical system: challenges faced by foreign medical graduates

      Anonymous | Physician
    • The essence of medicine: genuine connections in practice

      Jennifer Tillman, MD | Physician
    • 1 in 4 attempt suicide: the persecution of autistic physicians

      Patricia Celan, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The shifting landscape of gastroenterology manpower and compensation

      Brian Hudes, MD | Physician
    • I’m tired of being a distracted doctor

      Shiv Rao, MD | Tech
    • Diverse paths to financial freedom for doctors [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • AI-driven diagnostics and beyond

      Michael Kirsch, MD | Tech
    • Applying the differential diagnosis method to investing

      Amarish Dave, DO | Finance
    • Pediatricians grapple with guns in America, from Band-Aids to bullets

      Tasia Isbell, MD, MPH | Policy

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 3 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • Gabapentin No Help for Lingering COVID-Induced Olfactory Dysfunction
  • There's More to the Story of Pilots Avoiding Mental Health Care
  • Another Win for Biomarker-Driven Thromboprophylaxis for Patients With Cancer
  • Smartphone App May Be a Simple Tool to Measure Abnormal Eyeball Protrusion
  • The Cost of Corporatized Medicine

Meeting Coverage

  • Stopping Medical Misinformation Requires Early Detection
  • AI Has an Image Problem in Healthcare, Expert Says
  • Want Better Health Outcomes? Check Out What Other Countries Do
  • ERS Roundup: Cell Transplant Boosts Lung Function in COPD Patients
  • Benralizumab Allows Inhaled Corticosteroid Taper for Asthma Patients
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • I want to be a doctor who can provide care for women: What states must I rule out for my medical education?

      Nandini Erodula | Education
    • Unveiling excessive medical billing and greed

      Amol Saxena, DPM, MPH | Policy
    • I’m a doctor, and I almost died during childbirth

      Bayo Curry-Winchell, MD | Physician
    • Ethical considerations in medicine: unity and open discourse

      Andrew Zywiec, MD | Physician
    • Man’s search for meaning is spiritual, and relevant to medicine

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Physician
    • The shifting landscape of gastroenterology manpower and compensation

      Brian Hudes, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Medical gaslighting: a growing challenge in today’s medical landscape

      Tami Burdick | Conditions
    • Balancing opioid medication in chronic pain

      L. Joseph Parker, MD | Conditions
    • I want to be a doctor who can provide care for women: What states must I rule out for my medical education?

      Nandini Erodula | Education
    • Navigating the broken medical system: challenges faced by foreign medical graduates

      Anonymous | Physician
    • The essence of medicine: genuine connections in practice

      Jennifer Tillman, MD | Physician
    • 1 in 4 attempt suicide: the persecution of autistic physicians

      Patricia Celan, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The shifting landscape of gastroenterology manpower and compensation

      Brian Hudes, MD | Physician
    • I’m tired of being a distracted doctor

      Shiv Rao, MD | Tech
    • Diverse paths to financial freedom for doctors [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • AI-driven diagnostics and beyond

      Michael Kirsch, MD | Tech
    • Applying the differential diagnosis method to investing

      Amarish Dave, DO | Finance
    • Pediatricians grapple with guns in America, from Band-Aids to bullets

      Tasia Isbell, MD, MPH | Policy

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

How do I fix communication with my patients?
3 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...