Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

How physician families can spend more time together

Jordyn Paradis Hagar, LCSW-C
Physician
July 12, 2015
62 Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

shutterstock_99364631

As a child and family therapist and as a parent, I often see the efforts that families make to try to maintain a sense of family connection in an era of technology, increased demands and very busy schedules. Most families express a desire for more quality time together and an increased sense of connection amongst family members. The medical families that I encounter describe similar goals but often note the added frustration of trying to achieve this within unpredictable medical schedules and the medical parent’s frequent time away from the family. Fortunately, a high level of family connectedness can be achieved in a medical home, even during times of lower predictability and availability.

Many families find it helpful when the expectations, routines, rules and schedules in a home exist regardless of the family members present at a given time. When adults know how the home functions, even when they are away, it can minimize divisiveness and tension between the adults in the home. When children know that the entire family operates as a unified system, it strengthens their sense of family and their sense of security and predictability with each parent.

Many families also find it useful to develop special rituals. While routines are the components of the day that unfold a specific way, regardless of who is in the house at a given time, rituals are special interactions or activities that occur in some kind of predictable fashion with the intent of nurturing a relationship. These can be activities that only occur when the entire family is present to participate, like game night, a weekend trip or a yearly family vacation. Parents can reserve special rituals for interactions with each of their children, like a particular song at bedtime or a bike ride to a favorite location. Children can also develop rituals to incorporate the idea of their medical parent into moments when that parent is unavailable, such as drawing pictures to give him/her, bringing home a souvenir from an activity or planning a surprise or treat for his/her return.

Established methods of communication can also help nurture feelings of connection within a family. Some families like using family meetings. These can serve to keep a medical parent updated about any changes that have occurred as well as ensure that all family members have a place to feel heard, acknowledged and appreciated. In a less formal way, communication games or rituals can be a fun way of checking in with family members over dinner or before bed. For example, everyone can share three positive things and three difficult things from their day or list three things they are grateful for in their day.

In order to foster a sense of family and connection, a family needs to spend time together. This can certainly prove challenging when considering the time constraints of medicine, but families can develop creative ways to see one another when time is limited.

Ideally, families spend some amount of time together each day. However, this may not always be possible in a medical family. Instead, it may make more sense to simply choose a time of day (dinner, evening, bedtime) when all family members regularly try to be present and engage together. The family can then expect that whoever is in the house at that particular time will come together as previously agreed. It may also make sense to focus on creating higher quality family engagements that occur less frequently. Then the family can put more effort into ensuring that all family members are present and fully involved.

In order to further deepen individual relationships within the family, each parent can also spend one on one time with each child. This can happen more or less frequently depending on the family’s needs, but children often like having individual time with their parents. There are fewer distractions and a greater opportunity to focus on that one particular bond within the family.

Adult time can also prove helpful. This does not always need to be time-consuming; small, genuine interactions can go a long way. When parents feel connected, though, they are more likely to support one another, show empathy and engage in kindnesses. This is a strong way to set the tone for family connectedness.

All family members have a role in developing a sense of family connection. Parents need to acknowledge the impact that the medical demands have on the children and on one another. Genuinely listening to and understanding a child’s point of view without trying to dismiss or minimize it can greatly help a child to feel heard and connected. Do not hesitate to ask children for their opinions and enlist their help. What do they think could help? What could ease some of the discomfort during times of absence? What would they like to do with the medical parent when time permits? Involving the children can increase their sense of investment and value within the family.

It takes work, creativity and flexibility, but it is entirely possible to have a strongly connected medical family. Any small step you take matters as long as it comes from a place of genuine caring for the state of your family.

Jordyn Paradis Hagar is a social worker. This article originally appeared in Physician Family.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

7 things parents need to know about tampons

July 11, 2015 Kevin 1
…
Next

What to do when your doctor says you can't have an IUD

July 12, 2015 Kevin 2
…

Tagged as: Primary Care

Post navigation

< Previous Post
7 things parents need to know about tampons
Next Post >
What to do when your doctor says you can't have an IUD

More by Jordyn Paradis Hagar, LCSW-C

  • Tips for parenting children in a physician family

    Jordyn Paradis Hagar, LCSW-C

Related Posts

  • A physician’s addiction to social media

    Amanda Xi, MD
  • How a physician keynote can highlight your conference

    Kevin Pho, MD
  • Chasing numbers contributes to physician burnout

    DrizzleMD
  • Doctors: It’s time to unionize

    Thomas D. Guastavino, MD
  • Finding happiness in the time of COVID

    Anonymous
  • The black physician’s burden

    Naomi Tweyo Nkinsi

More in Physician

  • How to overcome telemedicine’s biggest obstacles

    Harvey Castro, MD, MBA
  • The patient who became my soulmate

    Anonymous
  • Breaking the stigma: Addressing the struggles of physicians

    Jean Antonucci, MD
  • Life as a physician is sometimes like a runaway trailer

    Christopher Nyte, DO
  • The controversial origin of the Hippocratic oath

    Brian Elliott, MD
  • From physician to patient: one doctor’s journey to finding purpose after a devastating injury

    Stephanie Pearson, MD
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Resetting the doctor-patient relationship: Navigating the challenges of modern primary care

      Jeffrey H. Millstein, MD | Physician
    • Nobody wants this job. Should physicians stick around?

      Katie Klingberg, MD | Physician
    • From physician to patient: one doctor’s journey to finding purpose after a devastating injury

      Stephanie Pearson, MD | Physician
    • An unspoken truth about non-compete clauses in medicine

      Harry Severance, MD | Policy
    • Fostering the next (diverse) generation of clinicians

      Imamu Tomlinson, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Healing through love and spirituality

      John T. James, PhD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • The hidden dangers of the Nebraska Heartbeat Act

      Meghan Sheehan, MD | Policy
    • The fight for reproductive health: Why medication abortion matters

      Catherine Hennessey, MD | Physician
    • The vital importance of climate change education in medical schools

      Helen Kim, MD | Policy
    • Resetting the doctor-patient relationship: Navigating the challenges of modern primary care

      Jeffrey H. Millstein, MD | Physician
    • Why are doctors sued and politicians aren’t?

      Kellie Lease Stecher, MD | Physician
    • The Titanic sinking: a metaphor for the impending collapse of medicine

      Aaron Morgenstein, MD & Corinne Sundar Rao, MD & Shreekant Vasudhev, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Rescuing primary care: the role of health administrators [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Breaking down barriers: How technology is improving diabetes management in underserved communities

      Anonymous | Conditions
    • From penicillin to digital health: the impact of social media on medicine

      Homer Moutran, MD, MBA, Caline El-Khoury, PhD, and Danielle Wilson | Social media
    • Healing the damaged nurse-physician dynamic

      Angel J. Mena, MD and Ali Morin, MSN, RN | Policy
    • How to overcome telemedicine’s biggest obstacles

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Deaths of despair: an urgent call for a collective response to the crisis in U.S. life expectancy

      Mohammed Umer Waris, MD | Policy

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 13 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • Investigational ALS Drug May Have Clinical Benefit, FDA Staff Says
  • Cases of Deadly Fungus Tripled in Past Few Years, CDC Says
  • Small Gains in Cardiorespiratory Fitness Track With Improved Longevity
  • Improved OS With Hyperfractionated RT in Recurrent Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma
  • GPT-4 Is Here. How Can Doctors Use Generative AI Now?

Meeting Coverage

  • Rapid Improvement in Atopic Dermatitis With Topical PDE4 Inhibitor
  • New Approaches in the Bladder-Sparing Paradigm
  • Response Rates in Hidradenitis Suppurativa Continue to Climb With New Therapies
  • Another Win for a JAK Inhibitor in Alopecia Areata
  • Biologic Switch Revs Up Response in Plaque Psoriasis
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • Resetting the doctor-patient relationship: Navigating the challenges of modern primary care

      Jeffrey H. Millstein, MD | Physician
    • Nobody wants this job. Should physicians stick around?

      Katie Klingberg, MD | Physician
    • From physician to patient: one doctor’s journey to finding purpose after a devastating injury

      Stephanie Pearson, MD | Physician
    • An unspoken truth about non-compete clauses in medicine

      Harry Severance, MD | Policy
    • Fostering the next (diverse) generation of clinicians

      Imamu Tomlinson, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Healing through love and spirituality

      John T. James, PhD | Conditions
  • Past 6 Months

    • The hidden dangers of the Nebraska Heartbeat Act

      Meghan Sheehan, MD | Policy
    • The fight for reproductive health: Why medication abortion matters

      Catherine Hennessey, MD | Physician
    • The vital importance of climate change education in medical schools

      Helen Kim, MD | Policy
    • Resetting the doctor-patient relationship: Navigating the challenges of modern primary care

      Jeffrey H. Millstein, MD | Physician
    • Why are doctors sued and politicians aren’t?

      Kellie Lease Stecher, MD | Physician
    • The Titanic sinking: a metaphor for the impending collapse of medicine

      Aaron Morgenstein, MD & Corinne Sundar Rao, MD & Shreekant Vasudhev, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Rescuing primary care: the role of health administrators [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Breaking down barriers: How technology is improving diabetes management in underserved communities

      Anonymous | Conditions
    • From penicillin to digital health: the impact of social media on medicine

      Homer Moutran, MD, MBA, Caline El-Khoury, PhD, and Danielle Wilson | Social media
    • Healing the damaged nurse-physician dynamic

      Angel J. Mena, MD and Ali Morin, MSN, RN | Policy
    • How to overcome telemedicine’s biggest obstacles

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Deaths of despair: an urgent call for a collective response to the crisis in U.S. life expectancy

      Mohammed Umer Waris, MD | Policy

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today iMedicalApps
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

How physician families can spend more time together
13 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...