Stunning new medical conditions overlooked!

This article is satire.

The DSM-5-TR came out in March with some shocking omissions.  Here submitted are a few new conditions the next version might include:

Animaculism: the state of joy that comes from the care and companionship of nonverbal creatures, with subtypes for canine, feline, bovine, avian, piscine, exotic, and even serpentine.

Hyperfurrification: being covered in exogenous pet hair

Itchymaskanosis: an acquired hallucination, the sense of an invisible nose tickle as if from …

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