This article is satire.
The DSM-5-TR came out in March with some shocking omissions. Here submitted are a few new conditions the next version might include:
Animaculism: the state of joy that comes from the care and companionship of nonverbal creatures, with subtypes for canine, feline, bovine, avian, piscine, exotic, and even serpentine.
Hyperfurrification: being covered in exogenous pet hair
Itchymaskanosis: an acquired hallucination, the sense of an invisible nose tickle as if from …