When my husband Brian started first-year of medical school at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine, I jettisoned off to Thailand to spend a year teaching English and traveling.  We figured if we were going to date long-distance, why not go all in? Why not ensure that we were a full 12 hours apart, on literal opposite sides of the world. What can I say? We like a ...

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Medical school applications can raise big hairy questions about the long-term potential and trajectory of your relationship as well as the question of whether you get a say in where the applicant applies and attends medical school. For some, the timing of these questions arises in synchrony with the relationship’s natural progression that is at a time when you and your partner are beginning to discuss your long-term prospects. Other ...

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Every medical couple knows that the lifestyle and career choice brings with it adjustments and sacrifices. Physician spouses and partners often take on more housework and childcare to accommodate long working hours. Physicians may work unusual hours that lead to late-night arrivals, missed bedtime tuck-ins, and less face-to-face time. This can lead many couples to blame medicine for their struggling relationship. Take the example of a resident who has been working ...

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If your partner is a doctor or medical student, prepare yourself for dozens -- possibly hundreds -- of conversations about their career. If you’re lucky, these conversations are pleasant moments in which you get to show pride about your partner’s accomplishments, discuss the challenges openly, or talk about something you have learned as an outsider looking into the medical establishment. Unfortunately, many of us experience a far more frustrating reality when ...

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Medical couples are experts at delaying gratification. Medical school’s rigid, unpredictable, and demanding schedule forces couples to postpone vacations, outings, dinner plans, and relationship progress. Glen Gabbard and Roy Menninger, in their book Medical Marriages, call this common trend among single- and dual-physician couples “the psychology of postponement.” They explain that medical school and demanding attending physicians become “a convenient scapegoat” for couples looking to avoid living their lives or ...

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