asco-logo I see these couples quite often: the man has been prescribed androgen deprivation therapy and his partner is distressed. He no longer has erections, although for some that had been a problem for years. But even then, they tell me, he at least tried occasionally. Now there is nothing. No hugs, no kisses, no hand holding, no touch. The partners are ...

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asco-logoI had never met the man, but from a brief reading of the notes in his medical record, I knew that this was not going to be easy. Thirty years old with stage III kidney cancer, the notes showed a long history of missed appointments and late arrivals. I had been asked to talk to him about sperm banking and so ...

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asco-logoThe couples I see for counseling are not always perfect, not that any couples ever are. But when cancer enters the relationship, for some couples, things get ugly and get ugly fast. I believe that we like to think that cancer makes people “better”; that people rise to the challenge and become the best they can be. I think that we ...

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asco-logo One of the nurses knocked on my door on a quiet Monday morning. “Hey, can you see this patient? I guess it’s not urgent but he’s here now, and I think what the doctor told him just threw him for a loop.” Of course I had time. In my role as clinical nurse specialist in a busy uro-oncology unit, I see men who ...

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asco-logo Many of the couples that I see in my practice grow closer after the diagnosis and treatment of cancer. I describe it as being forged by the searing flames of this dreaded disease. First, comes the terror of the diagnosis and the fear of losing one’s love. I see it in the eyes of the women and men as they sit ...

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asco-logo Ten years ago, I first met this patient, newly diagnosed with intermediate-risk prostate cancer. As I walked into the examination room, I was struck by the juxtaposition of his wife, crumpled in a chair and weeping silently, with the patient himself, pacing the 12'-by-4' room with a look of either anger or frustration. This difference in response between the man and ...

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asco-logo I was sitting in a meeting, listening and participating, but at the same time keeping an eye on my email. I always do this, sometimes to my peril. Email is distracting, and more than once I have been called on to say something and I have no clue where the discussion had gone as I glanced at my inbox. At this ...

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asco-logo We’ve come a long way from the 1940s and 1950s when men didn’t cry — not when they stubbed a toe or came back from the war and certainly not in front of strangers. In the last 20-plus years, we have seen a loosening up of the "stiff upper lip," and we now see men crying in all sorts of places. ...

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asco-logo My background in nursing has given me a perspective that many physicians don’t have. From the beginning of my career, I have valued the information that patients have provided me about the context of their lives, family, work, and beliefs. I have never cared for a knee or a prostate, but rather I have cared for a person whose life experiences ...

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asco-logo Many men experience significant erectile problems after having a radical prostatectomy, and many of the men treated by the urologists I work with eventually land in my office. We talk frankly about the quality of their erections before the surgery, what they are like now, and what they have tried to do to resolve the problems they are having. After this, ...

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