Meet the physician who became a life coach [PODCAST]

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“For the past six months, I’ve spent my free time becoming a certified life coach. I’m a hospitalist, but a little more than a year ago, I was introduced to life coaching. I love the changes it has produced in my life – particularly how it’s changed me as a mother. Coaching helps me to be more present for my family and more emotionally available for my kids. It’s changed the way I approach life, and it’s changed what I teach my children.”

Trina E. Dorrah is an internal medicine physician and the author of Physician’s Guide to Surviving CGCAHPS & HCAHPS. She can be reached at Dr Trina Dorrah Life Coaching.

She shares her story and discusses the KevinMD article that she co-wrote, “When we coach, we change the lives of our children.”

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Hosted by Kevin Pho, MD, The Podcast by KevinMD shares the stories of the many who intersect with our health care system but are rarely heard from.

Transcript

Kevin Pho: Hi, and welcome to the show, where we share the stories of the many who intersect with our health care system but are rarely heard from. My name is Kevin Pho, founder and editor of KevinMD. Today on the show, we have Trina Dorrah. She’s a hospitalist, and she wrote the KevinMD article “When we coach, we change the lives of our children.” Trina, welcome to the show.

Trina E. Dorrah: Hi, thank you. I’m glad to be here.

Kevin Pho: So we’ll get into your article in a little bit, but first off, can you share your story and your journey to where you are today?

Trina E. Dorrah: Yes. So I am an internal medicine hospitalist, and then about a year ago, I decided to become a life coach. The way that I got into that is, I have been a hospitalist now for about 14 years, I think. Last summer, I came across my own life coach. I was doing a program, and I got introduced to life coaching, and I just loved it. I found it to be so transformative.

And it was actually interesting. It was at a time when I was starting to experience maybe a little bit of burnout in medicine, and I came across a life coach, and just working with him really helped me so much that I decided that that was what I wanted to do as well. So I found a life coach school that I wanted to go to. I went to the Life Coach School, is what it’s called, and then became a life coach so that I can help others. My niche actually is not burnout, but I did decide to become a life coach so I could help others.

Kevin Pho: So what exactly is a life coach, and how much training do you need to become one?

Trina E. Dorrah: Right. So I like to think of it as, a life coach is someone who takes someone’s life that is already workable, and then you help make their life amazing. So you really are helping them to focus on the future. Specifically, I help divorced women, and I help divorced women whose husbands committed infidelity. I’m not working with them at that point of acute trauma. I’m really working with them whenever they know that they want to get to the next step, where they want to see what else is out there. They know that divorce isn’t the end of their story. They know that there can be something greater for them. And I think that that’s where life coaching really comes in. It’s people who already are functioning, but they want to get to that next level.

And then in terms of your other question, in terms of what kind of training is required: Actually, life coaching is not a regulated industry, and so anyone can call themselves a life coach. However, there are a lot of life coach schools that have popped up, a lot of certifications that are out there. Some are better than others. And so I would say just to do your research. The life coach school that I’m training at is called the Life Coach School, and it’s actually a yearlong program. So you do really get a lot of great training in my program. There are so many programs out there, so I would say if someone’s interested, just do your research. See what you’re getting out of the program before you decide to come in.

Kevin Pho: And are most of your clients in the medical field?

Trina E. Dorrah: No, so I work with anyone. There are definitely a lot of physician life coaches who do specialize in working with physicians, but I work with women whose husbands cheated on them. So that’s who I work with, so that can be, you know, any woman.

Kevin Pho: So let’s get into your KevinMD article, “When we coach, we change the lives of our children.” Now, for those who haven’t read your article, can you walk my audience through it and share the story of why you decided to write it?

Trina E. Dorrah: Right. So I actually initially shared this in, I have a Facebook group for my divorced women, so initially I shared it in that Facebook group. Basically, what I was telling the women was the fact that my daughter had told me recently that I was beautiful. And actually, my daughter tells me that I’m beautiful all the time. She’ll say I’m beautiful. She tells me she likes my hair, or she sees me wearing a dress, and she’s always like, “Oh, Mommy, that’s such a pretty dress.” Or the other day, she was like, “Come on, let’s put on a dress, and let’s go show Daddy how pretty you look.” So she’s always giving me compliments.

And I’ve noticed my natural inclination. A lot of times she’ll say, “Oh, you look so pretty,” and then in my mind, I’ll think, “Oh, well, I would be prettier if I lost five pounds.” Or she’ll say, “Oh, Mommy, your hair is so pretty,” and then in my mind, I’ll think, “Oh, it’d be prettier if it were longer, if it were thicker.” But I’ve made a vow that I never want to say those things in front of my daughter.

And so that was really what the article was about: about how our brains will always feed us this negativity, right? And so coaching has really helped me to identify those times when my brain is trying to tell me a negative thought, and to really stop it and then redirect my brain, essentially. So that’s what the article was talking about, how coaching has helped in my parenting, because it’s really helped me to identify those negative beliefs, stop them, and make sure that I don’t perpetuate those beliefs to my daughter.

And then instead, because I really believe that our thoughts and what we tell ourselves, you know, are the foundation of everything. You know, that’s what we learn through coaching, that our thoughts ultimately create our results. And so I make sure that I try to speak positive thoughts to my daughter. I try to train her already. You know, she’s not even four years old, but I try to teach her those positive thoughts. I already teach her to say, you know, “I am capable of great things.” So I have her recite that back to me, because I want her to go ahead and have that positive belief about herself, that high self-esteem, because I know that at some point in the future, there will be someone who tries to tell her otherwise.

So whenever I first wrote the article in my divorced women’s Facebook group, it was about the fact that a lot of the women in my group were married to people who told them negative things about themselves, and whenever they left the marriage and got divorced, they had such low self-esteem. But what I talked about was the fact that I wanted to make sure that that didn’t happen to my daughter, that she does not end up with low self-esteem because of this.

Kevin Pho: Now, how has being a physician first changed you as a life coach?

Trina E. Dorrah: So I think being a physician is really helpful in preparing for life coaching, because as physicians, we’re constantly curious, right? And that’s one of the key points of being a life coach, being curious, asking questions. You know, as a life coach, we aren’t supposed to go to our clients and tell them what to do. We’re supposed to draw it out of them. So being good at asking those open-ended questions, like we learned as physicians, is very important.

And then I also think about how most of us go into medicine because we want to help people, right? That’s what we all said at the beginning. That’s what attracted all of us to medicine: We wanted to help people. And I look at life coaching as just another way to be able to do that, to be able to help people at a time when they’re very vulnerable, and you’re able to offer them something that can really help get them to the other side.

Kevin Pho: So studies show that 50 percent of physicians say they experience burnout. Now, how can life coaching play a role in alleviating that?

Trina E. Dorrah: Right, that’s a great question. So there are actually studies now that show that life coaching does help with burnout. There are even randomized controlled trials that have been published showing that life coaching helps. And I think it helps in a couple of different ways.

So one way it helps is certainly just from the interaction that you have speaking with the coach. Yesterday, I was talking to my own coach. Having a coach really helps you to uncover your own thinking. Sometimes certain thoughts are hidden to us, and so having a coach really helps you to explore your own thinking.

But another way that I think life coaching helps is it teaches you how to coach yourself. So for example, through my life coaching training, we learn how to coach ourselves, how to examine our own thoughts every day. And I think when you have those skills, the combination of coaching yourself and working with someone else, it really can help you with burnout.

Kevin Pho: So we’re talking to Trina Dorrah. She’s an internal medicine physician, a hospitalist, and she’s also a life coach. She wrote the KevinMD article “When we coach, we change the lives of our children.” Trina, you said earlier that the life coaching industry isn’t regulated, so anyone can call themselves a life coach. So a physician is looking for a life coach. What kind of qualifications, what kind of characteristics should they be looking for?

Trina E. Dorrah: Right. Well, I think, like a lot of things, a personal recommendation, of course, is often what goes the farthest. So if you know someone who’s worked with a coach and they’ve had a great experience, talking to that person. I certainly don’t think that you have to have a particular certification, or you have to be recognized by a particular board, to be a good life coach. We always talk about, “Can you get your clients results?” And so that’s the number one thing.

So regardless of the credentials, it’s a little bit different than medicine, right? Because in medicine, we’re always looking for credentials. We’re always looking for what board exam you passed. But in life coaching, it’s really about, can you get your clients results? And as long as you can, nobody really cares where you trained or what your credentials are.

Kevin Pho: And my last question: Do you have a take-home message that you want to share with the KevinMD audience?

Trina E. Dorrah: All right. So if I had one take-home message for your audience, I would say find a coach. I think that every physician should have a life coach, and there are all different kinds of life coaches out there. So maybe you do want a coach related to burnout. Maybe you want one related to divorce, like I work on. There are coaches for money, coaches for parenting, all different kinds of things, general life coaches. But I really think that it is so helpful.

I think coaching is going more mainstream. And actually, you know, there are a lot of physicians that are becoming life coaches. Through the school that I trained at, the Life Coach School, we’re up to about 145 physicians who either have become certified through the school or are starting certification through the school. So, you know, it’s no longer the secret, hidden thing that only certain people do. Really, it’s becoming a lot more mainstream and accepted to have a coach. So that would be my piece of advice: Find a coach.

Kevin Pho: And how can people find you?

Trina E. Dorrah: Right. So if people want to find me, they can go to my website, so it’s www.drtrinadorrah.com. If you’re interested in joining my Facebook group, I do have a group called Women Moving Beyond Cheating and Divorce. And then I’m also on Instagram, Trina Dorrah or @trinadorrah.

Kevin Pho: Trina, thank you so much for sharing your story and your insight. Thanks again for being on the show.

Trina E. Dorrah: All right, thank you so much for having me.

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