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Obi-Wan Kenobi and Charles Darwin have a COVID conversation

Tomi Mitchell, MD
Conditions
September 3, 2021
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By now, many of you would have read my article, “Who needs scientists? It’s not like we listen to them anyway.” So, let me tell you another fiction story. But, first, I need to give you some background to this story.

Many of you would know about the theory of evolution by natural selection and how it explains the diversity we see today. It’s an excellent idea, and there are some fascinating observations that can be deduced from this hypothesis. For example, those species that do not adapt to their surroundings will become extinct as time passes. Organisms that adapt to their environment tend to survive and produce more offspring. The keyword is “tend,” so that means not everyone will make it, even if they adapt. This points to a reality we, as the human species, try to make sense of: “Why do good people die?” I honestly don’t know. But I do know that some people became martyrs through no choice of their own, as their death brought change.

So, listeners, here is a story for you:

Once upon a time, in a place far away, there lived a man called Charles Darwin. He was a proper British chap with an interest in science. He was seen as a heretic in his time, as his ideas were seen as controversial. Ah, but as it happens in history, these controversial individuals are the history makers, and people eventually come to believe their words.

Charles was an adventurous young man. He sailed the seven seas searching for new and exciting adventures. He explored nature, plants, animals, and fossils in South America and in the Pacific Islands. Charles had a lot of time on his hands and wasn’t on Instagram, Facebook, or Reddit, as he wrote a bestselling book, On The Origin of Species.

He knew nothing of genes and DNA at that time, but he saw that traits could be passed to the next generation.

You see, Charles Darwin chose the name natural selection to contrast “artificial selection” or selective breeding, which humans control. Darwin had a similar approach, a Laissez-faire philosophy, a free-market type of approach, that opposes government intervention.

So, readers, let us look at viruses and natural selection. The virus is a living organism; though it doesn’t have a brain, it knows it wants to survive. I’m going to tell you a tale. Some call it folklore, but only time will tell the truth.

Once upon a time, far away, there was a busy city called Wuhan. The storytellers say there was a laboratory leak, or perhaps freak of nature (mutation) occurred. The point is, for the sake of this story, it doesn’t matter.

Back in 2019, one of the fiercest viruses was detected. The “scientists” called it SARS-CoV-2. You know those scientists are always trying to make stuff up and complicate things. The rest of the world knows it as coronavirus, the “Vid,” or COVID for short. COVID is a lethal virus determined to live and reproduce in wild abandon in their unsuspecting human hosts. Please note, corona shouldn’t be compared to Corona beer. However, alcohol should not be consumed if you have the “Vid” as it weakens the immune system of unsuspecting humans.

You see, the “Vid” was sneaky. It knew that it just had to get a few viruses particles in the unsuspecting human host to cause total mayhem. A COVID party is like a college house party gone loco. “Vid’s” sole mission is to invade the host, replicate, and mutate to escape detection from the Zombie COVID vaccine.

Meanwhile, back in Wuhan, China, the original COVID Menace virus laughs out loud and says, “You pathetic humans. Viruses haven’t changed their playbooks. You simple humans, do you ever learn? Instead, you choose to defy science.”

You see, George Santayana, in The Life of Reason, said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” So, as its been humans’ downfall, we tend not to learn from the past.

You see, doing nothing is a choice, and often it has deadly consequences, but we will save that story for another day.

Back to the story.

Unless we find a superhero to save the day, the “Vid” will take over the world, one human at a time. The “Vid” can be lethal, and it has no conscience and will overtake the human protective (immune) system. Alas, all is not lost. The “Vid” is fearful of its arch-nemesis, the Zombie COVID vaccine. So, the “Vid” quickly devises a scheme to evade detection and destruction. The system is the tried, tested, and true method of mutation.

Meanwhile, back in Wuhan, China, the original COVID Menace virus laughs out loud and says, “You weak, pathetic fool (humans). We will fight until the bitter end.”

However, there are a few brave voices that dare tout science. Obi-Wan Kenobi asks, “Who’s the more foolish: the fool or the fool who follows him?” However, the crowds of people injecting bleach and eating Ivermectin, in their delirious stupor, cry out, “You can’t tell me what to do. It’s my choice, and it doesn’t affect anybody.”

Qui-Gon Jinn comforts Obi and says, “The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.” Then Darvin comes to the scene and says, “Humans, remember natural selection. Do you really want to test my theory?”

The crowds cried out, “What are you talking about, Darwin?”

Darwin clears his voice and says, “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”

So, Darwin says to Obi, “Well, you know what you need to do to fight Menace COVID?” Obi responded with a resolute, “Yes.” Qui-Gon Jinn chimes in and tells Obi, “I’m not testing you, Obi-Wan. Life tests you! Every day it brings you new chances for triumph or defeat. And if you pass the test, it doesn’t make you a Jedi. It makes you human.”

Then, out of nowhere, Anakin Skywalker says to Obi-Wan Kenobi, “Goodbye, old friend. May the force be with you.” Then he disappears into the night.

So, the moral of this story, nature has a method that has been around for millennia. Nature can be cruel, but it’s impartial. It responds to the situations that are thrust on it. With that being said, they all lived happily ever after … or did they?

Tomi Mitchell is a family physician.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

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