Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

Mentors, thank you for parenting me

Micaela Stevenson
Education
July 1, 2021
79 Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

Parenting is one of those things most of us end up doing but never get any full training on. It’s awkward. Some people are good at it; some people are terrible at it. Sometimes we never know if the parent is simply terrible at parenting, if they have a terrible child, or if there is just a combination of bad factors. However, there are some people who end up being excellent parents and taking their excellent parenting skills and bringing them into their work lives. It’s beautiful, and despite the fact that many of us have parents, I find that it’s always special to have an extra set of hands to continue guiding learners.

I was fortunate to be surrounded by several wonderful mentors in medical school. They all came from various walks of life, with all of them having boundless knowledge to provide to me. However, the best mentors were those who treated me like I was their child. I remember the first time a mentor of mine treated me like their child. It wasn’t in the way that I thought it would feel. I was extremely hungry; I had run from one clinic to the next in the afternoon. I hadn’t had an opportunity to eat anything that day, and I remember feeling very overwhelmed about the idea of being late. A patient had come into clinic that my attending indicated that he wanted to quickly see alone. He heard my stomach growl, and he casually asked me if I had eaten yet today. I said no, and I will never forget the look on his face. He seemed so appalled that I didn’t take care of myself. He rushed me off to the cafeteria to get something to eat and told me I wouldn’t have to worry about seeing patients unless I had had something to eat. It was a feeling of warmth which I had had and I remembered. I remember again that there was a time I brought no lunch to clinic due to wanting to move quickly to be on time. I took the profession too seriously, and my attending looked at me quickly and said calmly, “We’ll be OK, let’s order lunch!” These attendings thought about me not only as if I were another person, but as though I were a person they could nurture and care for.

While it might not make everyone comfortable, I felt fortunate that anyone loved me enough to treat me with the kindness and love that they would treat their own child. During training, I don’t always need to be treated with respect and the equality that one might offer to a colleague. Mentorship can be a lot like parenting. Sometimes, I need someone to sit with me and talk to me as though I know less than them, but with the love they would give to an offspring.

I need my hand held sometimes. Other times, I need the independence to grow on my own and to roam and explore. Sometimes I need to make my own mistakes. Other times, I need to avoid making mistakes so I won’t hurt myself or someone else. I need to know what will work for me. However, we commonly find mentors who we want to be like—so we copy them in every way. We carry our stethoscopes in the same ways they carry them. We put our hair up in ponytails like they do. My sparkly nail polish commonly matches my attending’s and I even want the same engagement ring as hers.

However, I want to be better than her. I want to observe her mistakes, and I want to grow so I can be even better than she is now. This is what she would want. I also dread the possibility of disappointing her. I want to make her proud. I tell her my grades, my failures, and my concerns. We celebrate my successes and we talk about our families.

Above all, thank you. Thanks for being my doctor mom! Thank you for noticing when something was hard for me. Thank you for noticing when I was nervous or hurt. Thank you for noticing that I was trying, even when I was failing. Thank you for thinking of me and making me part of your family. This journey is hard every day. We all need people in our corners who care for us. I couldn’t have asked for anything better. I see my tremendous growth only because of what only feels like parenting at its best when working with my mentors. My strengths, my failures, strategies to improve, and how much they cared for me enough to ensure that I ate. This is quality care and mentoring. Thank you for parenting me.

Micaela Stevenson is a medical student.

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Prev

Bloated notes are a huge problem and a time suck [PODCAST]

June 30, 2021 Kevin 0
…
Next

The joylessness of harried medical leaders

July 1, 2021 Kevin 5
…

Tagged as: Medical school

Post navigation

< Previous Post
Bloated notes are a huge problem and a time suck [PODCAST]
Next Post >
The joylessness of harried medical leaders

More by Micaela Stevenson

  • Doctoring during Kyle Rittenhouse’s acquittal

    Micaela Stevenson
  • A story of medicine’s stolen children

    Micaela Stevenson
  • Formalized mentorship as a requirement for medical schools

    Micaela Stevenson

Related Posts

  • Find the mentors you want in medicine

    Jamie Katuna
  • Pandemic parenting during medical school

    Jessica De Haan, PA-C
  • The medical education system hates families

    Anonymous
  • The value of in-person feedback

    Micaela Stevenson
  • Why doctors-in-training need better nutritional education

    Abeer Arain, MD, MPH
  • America’s inadequate LGBTQ medical education

    Haidn Foster

More in Education

  • The pros and cons of taking a gap year during medical school

    Med School Insiders
  • Breaking the silence: the truth about mental health challenges among medical students and why medical schools must take action

    Erin Waldrop
  • Breaking the stigma: Encouraging mental health help-seeking in medical trainees

    Anonymous
  • I’m not so different from Lionel Messi – and neither are you

    Lauren Tien
  • 6 ways ChatGPT can help you succeed in medical school

    Drew Bergman
  • Is it time to say goodbye to medical school rankings?

    James Goldchild
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

      Cindy Rubin, MD | Physician
    • We need a new Hippocratic Oath that puts patient autonomy first

      Jeffrey A. Singer, MD | Physician
    • Boxing legends Tyson and Foreman: powerful lessons for a resilient and evolving health care future

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Is chaos in health care leading us towards socialized medicine? How physician burnout is a catalyst.

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Empowering Black nurses for lasting change [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Master time management with 7 productivity strategies for optimal results

      Farzana Hoque, MD | Physician
    • Proposed USPSTF guideline update: Advocating for earlier breast cancer screening at age 40

      Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian | Conditions
    • The rising threat of lung cancer in Asian American female nonsmokers

      Alice S. Y. Lee, MD | Conditions
    • The tragic story of Mr. G: a painful journey towards understanding suicide

      William Lynes, MD | Physician
    • Healing trauma and reconnecting: Unmasking the impact of dissociation [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

Leave a Comment

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • Novel Anti-HER2 Drugs 'Impressive' in Advanced Biliary Cancer
  • What Was Tied to Lower Long COVID Risk?
  • Chemo-Free Approach Works in Subset of Patients With HER2+ Early Breast Cancer
  • Two-Drug Combo Wins for Refractory Gout
  • First-in-Class Sjogren's Drug Passes Mid-Stage Test

Meeting Coverage

  • Novel Anti-HER2 Drugs 'Impressive' in Advanced Biliary Cancer
  • Chemo-Free Approach Works in Subset of Patients With HER2+ Early Breast Cancer
  • Two-Drug Combo Wins for Refractory Gout
  • First-in-Class Sjogren's Drug Passes Mid-Stage Test
  • Pricey Drug Combo Boosts PFS in First-Line Advanced Ovarian Cancer
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

      Cindy Rubin, MD | Physician
    • We need a new Hippocratic Oath that puts patient autonomy first

      Jeffrey A. Singer, MD | Physician
    • Boxing legends Tyson and Foreman: powerful lessons for a resilient and evolving health care future

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Is chaos in health care leading us towards socialized medicine? How physician burnout is a catalyst.

      Howard Smith, MD | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Unveiling the hidden damage: the secretive world of medical boards

      Alan Lindemann, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • Empowering Black nurses for lasting change [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • Master time management with 7 productivity strategies for optimal results

      Farzana Hoque, MD | Physician
    • Proposed USPSTF guideline update: Advocating for earlier breast cancer screening at age 40

      Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian | Conditions
    • The rising threat of lung cancer in Asian American female nonsmokers

      Alice S. Y. Lee, MD | Conditions
    • The tragic story of Mr. G: a painful journey towards understanding suicide

      William Lynes, MD | Physician
    • Healing trauma and reconnecting: Unmasking the impact of dissociation [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

Leave a Comment

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...