Skip to content
  • About
  • Contact
  • Contribute
  • Book
  • Careers
  • Podcast
  • Recommended
  • Speaking
  • All
  • Physician
  • Practice
  • Policy
  • Finance
  • Conditions
  • .edu
  • Patient
  • Meds
  • Tech
  • Social
  • Video
    • All
    • Physician
    • Practice
    • Policy
    • Finance
    • Conditions
    • .edu
    • Patient
    • Meds
    • Tech
    • Social
    • Video
    • About
    • Contact
    • Contribute
    • Book
    • Careers
    • Podcast
    • Recommended
    • Speaking

The hospital’s homeless at night

Ahmed Zaafran, MD
Physician
June 9, 2016
471 Shares
Share
Tweet
Share

Sometimes when I’m working at the hospital overnight, I go for walks. Every now and then, things calm down in the operating room, and you can get some time to relax. Life moves at such a break-neck pace, especially within the world of hospitals, that taking a moment to reflect, is beneficial.

Walking around a hospital at night is very different than during the day. During the day, it feels like a corporation with suited men and women roaming from meeting to meeting, it feels like train station, where buses and cars move in and out of lots. It sometimes feels like a factory where patients come for the acute care that only a hospital can provide.

But at night?

At night, hospitals take on a whole different feel. When I walk around, there are few people moving about, but each one is moving with a purpose.

A resident physician on no sleep fumbling with notebooks filled with endless pages of diagnoses and treatments for the 20 patients on their service.

A man pushing his IV pole down the hall, convincing himself that just one more step will help him get better and out of here.

A nurse, having just come to work at midnight, eating “lunch” and discussing with her colleagues what it’s like to live a life directly inverted from the lives of other people.

I’m listening more carefully at night as I stroll through the darkened halls. The walls echo a variety of emotions, each distinct with vigor and substance.

“I just don’t want to watch him suffer,” a middle-aged man says to his mom, just outside of his dad’s room.

“It has feet!” says the man looking at his newborn daughter’s body just after his wife’s delivery.

There is art on the walls.

Lining up the walls of a hospital near you is artwork from distinguished artists around the world. I read the descriptions, the artists’ names and feel a sense of gloom. I don’t usually notice the art because the truth is, no matter how hard you try to make the hospital a more pleasant place, it most often will remain cold.

It is filled with caregivers, whose sole purpose in their professional live, is to take care of the sick. And with all that love and devotion, their empathy can only extend to the hand of those reaching. Sometimes, you can reach their hearts, and when you do, you know it.

One night, things were just going terribly. People were coming into the hospital with stab wounds, fatal car accidents; you name it. I didn’t have much time for anything.

Just as I was about to catch a break and put my head down, I got a text message from an old friend. I hadn’t seen him since my training years in Texas, but his brother was at my hospital. His wife had experienced a stroke and needed immediate attention.

It was very late at night and coincidentally I was there the same night. I went down to the lower level of the hospital where very few people would be at that time of night. And there he was. His brother was sitting alone, in a waiting room, while is beloved was having her brain scanned.

And at that moment, two people who have never met each other, linked by a mutual friend, were able to sit down and talk. We talked about sports, about raising our kids, and the frailty of life. We ate Oreos, I wished him and his wife well, and went on my way.

Walking back to my room at the hospital, I stopped to look and observe some more paintings.

“Ahmed, is that you? What the hell are you doing?”

A fellow anesthesiologist and buddy of mine, Justin, also working overnight, saw me stone-eyed, gazing at the wall-art, and almost didn’t recognize me. I told him what I had been thinking, and he said he could relate. He pulled out his phone and shared something with me called, “The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.” In it was the definition of the word, “sonder”:

… the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own — populated with their own ambitions friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness-an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

Glancing over at family members laying on uncomfortable couches, half-covered by thin blankets, trying to get a wink of sleep as their loved ones yearn to heal in a seemingly cold place, you get the sense that they are homeless for the night.

And at that moment, I am just an extra, sipping coffee in the background, a lighted window at dusk.

Ahmed Zaafran is an anesthesiologist who blogs at DrBeen.

Prev

The donors were our first patients

June 9, 2016 Kevin 5
…
Next

I didn't get to say goodbye

June 9, 2016 Kevin 9
…

Tagged as: Hospital-Based Medicine, Surgery

Post navigation

< Previous Post
The donors were our first patients
Next Post >
I didn't get to say goodbye

More by Ahmed Zaafran, MD

  • a desk with keyboard and ipad with the kevinmd logo

    After Joan Rivers: How we can make patients safer

    Ahmed Zaafran, MD

Related Posts

  • Don’t judge when trainees use dating apps in the hospital

    Austin Perlmutter, MD
  • When physician pay packages become hospital kickbacks

    Jordan Rau
  • Medicine won’t keep you warm at night

    Anonymous
  • 5 challenges of working in a county hospital

    Pranav Sharma, MD
  • Hospital administrators thinking about no-cost treatment which really helps patients

    John Corsino, DPT
  • What do hospital discounts really mean?

    Robert S. Berry, MD

More in Physician

  • The controversial oaths of American doctors: Prioritizing ethics over patients?

    Jeffrey A. Singer, MD
  • The meaning of death in medicine: the role of compassionate care in end-of-life patient care

    Ton La, Jr., MD, JD
  • How can there be joy in medicine if there is no joy in Mudville?

    Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA
  • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

    Cindy Rubin, MD
  • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

    Elizabeth Cerceo, MD
  • Raw humanity on night float: inspiring patient encounters and overcoming challenges

    Johnathan Yao, MD, MPH
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • How chronic illness and disability are portrayed in media and the importance of daily choices for improved quality of life

      Juliet Morgan and Meghan Jobson | Physician
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Why affirmative action is crucial for health equity and social justice in medicine

      Katrina Gipson, MD, MPH | Policy
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • A patient’s perspective on the diminishing relationship between doctors and patients

      Michele Luckenbaugh | Conditions
    • Emulating Michael Jordan’s winning mindset: a path to success for health care professionals and entrepreneurs

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • The growing threat to transgender health care: implications for patients, providers, and trainees

      Carson Hartlage | Policy
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The controversial oaths of American doctors: Prioritizing ethics over patients?

      Jeffrey A. Singer, MD | Physician
    • The meaning of death in medicine: the role of compassionate care in end-of-life patient care

      Ton La, Jr., MD, JD | Physician
    • From skydiving to saving lives: a surgeon’s journey on adversity, passion, and perseverance [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How can there be joy in medicine if there is no joy in Mudville?

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Unveiling the intricate link between housing costs and health care

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Policy
    • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

      Cindy Rubin, MD | Physician

Subscribe to KevinMD and never miss a story!

Get free updates delivered free to your inbox.


Find jobs at
Careers by KevinMD.com

Search thousands of physician, PA, NP, and CRNA jobs now.

Learn more

View 1 Comments >

Founded in 2004 by Kevin Pho, MD, KevinMD.com is the web’s leading platform where physicians, advanced practitioners, nurses, medical students, and patients share their insight and tell their stories.

Social

  • Like on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Connect on Linkedin
  • Subscribe on Youtube
  • Instagram

CME Spotlights

From MedPage Today

Latest News

  • 'Medically Relevant to Saving the Life of Your Patient': What We Heard This Week
  • Want to Solve the Nurse Shortage?
  • Why Are Female Doctors Sued Far Less Often Than Male Doctors?
  • What Drug Did FDA Just Approve for COVID?
  • PET Scan for Alzheimer's Dx; Predicting Colon Cancer Survival

Meeting Coverage

  • No Access to Routine Healthcare Biggest Barrier to HPV Vaccination
  • Trial Results Spark Talk of Curing More Metastatic Cervical Cancers
  • Cross-Border Collaboration Improves Survival in Pediatric Leukemia Patients
  • Monoclonal Antibody Reduced Need For Transfusions in Low-Risk MDS
  • Less-Invasive Surgery for Pancreatic Cancer Proves Safe, Effective
  • Most Popular

  • Past Week

    • How chronic illness and disability are portrayed in media and the importance of daily choices for improved quality of life

      Juliet Morgan and Meghan Jobson | Physician
    • The hidden factor in physician burnout: How the climate crisis is contributing to the erosion of well-being

      Elizabeth Cerceo, MD | Physician
    • Why affirmative action is crucial for health equity and social justice in medicine

      Katrina Gipson, MD, MPH | Policy
    • The power of coaching for physicians: transforming thoughts, changing lives

      Kim Downey, PT | Conditions
    • A patient’s perspective on the diminishing relationship between doctors and patients

      Michele Luckenbaugh | Conditions
    • Emulating Michael Jordan’s winning mindset: a path to success for health care professionals and entrepreneurs

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Physician
  • Past 6 Months

    • The growing threat to transgender health care: implications for patients, providers, and trainees

      Carson Hartlage | Policy
    • It’s time to replace the 0 to 10 pain intensity scale with a better measure

      Mark Sullivan, MD and Jane Ballantyne, MD | Conditions
    • “Is your surgeon really skilled? The hidden threat to public safety in medicine.

      Gene Uzawa Dorio, MD | Physician
    • Breaking point: the 5 reasons American doctors are dreaming of walking away from medicine

      Amol Shrikhande, MD | Physician
    • Breaking the cycle of racism in health care: a call for anti-racist action

      Tomi Mitchell, MD | Policy
    • Revolutionize your practice: the value-based care model that reduces physician burnout

      Chandravadan Patel, MD | Physician
  • Recent Posts

    • The controversial oaths of American doctors: Prioritizing ethics over patients?

      Jeffrey A. Singer, MD | Physician
    • The meaning of death in medicine: the role of compassionate care in end-of-life patient care

      Ton La, Jr., MD, JD | Physician
    • From skydiving to saving lives: a surgeon’s journey on adversity, passion, and perseverance [PODCAST]

      The Podcast by KevinMD | Podcast
    • How can there be joy in medicine if there is no joy in Mudville?

      Arthur Lazarus, MD, MBA | Physician
    • Unveiling the intricate link between housing costs and health care

      Harvey Castro, MD, MBA | Policy
    • Physician entrepreneurs offer hope for burned out doctors

      Cindy Rubin, MD | Physician

MedPage Today Professional

An Everyday Health Property Medpage Today
  • Terms of Use | Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA Policy
All Content © KevinMD, LLC
Site by Outthink Group

The hospital’s homeless at night
1 comments

Comments are moderated before they are published. Please read the comment policy.

Loading Comments...