While Muzak plays (think Kenny G covering John Mayer) and courteous expressions like “excuse me” and “thank you” are exchanged in hospital waiting rooms, behind the front desk, angry patients are firing curse words into the hallway like their mouths are assault rifles with an endless supply of ammunition. Nurses are being cussed out by patients who sound like characters in “Platoon.” And medical professionals are dropping f-bombs. All of …

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Hospitals are places of long-standing hierarchies where some people are made to feel important and others … not so much. A long time ago, I was told nurses used to stand when a white coat walked into a room. (Imagine that now. Laugh. Snort. Choke. Cough.) In those days, in the patient care setting, white coats were synonymous with importance.

These days, non-clinical hospital administrators, various technicians, and Clinique make-up counter …

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There are two key scenarios when doctors fail to tell “the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God.”

Sometimes doctors give a diagnosis we’re not 100 percent sure of and other times we don’t diagnose something we’re almost 100 percent sure of. The truth is complicated and often more gray than black and white.

Scenario #1: “You have [insert diagnosis …

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1.  Wait times in most emergency departments are ridiculous. But, if you have a real emergency, you won’t have to wait. If you have abnormal vital signs, a worrisome ECG, or concerning chief complaint, you will be seen long before the person who checked in with a sore throat to get a work excuse.

Patients with chief complaints like “GSW abdomen” and “found down/unresponsive” don’t wait to …

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Idioms are expressions everyone understands as something other than what the literal words say.  For example, when I talk about “putting all of my eggs in one basket,” everyone knows I’m not really talking about eggs.

We say things like:

It’s raining cats and dogs.

It was a piece of cake!

I heard it straight from the horse’s mouth.

We have a few idioms in medicine, too.  If I talk about “hanging crepe” in a …

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