Is a good patient simply one who never complains or disagrees?

I’m currently having a chance to do one of my least favorite things: be a patient. And the whole time, I’m missing no opportunity to declare what a bad patient I am. “I’m sorry I’m such a bad patient,” I said to the phlebotomist when I winced as she drew my blood. “I know I’m a bad patient,” I said to the x-ray technician who re-positioned my fractured arm. “We doctors are the worst patients,” I said to the physician whose advice I questioned.

But am I really such a bad patient? Is a good patient simply one who never complains or disagrees?

Since the goal of every patient is to get well as soon as possible (i.e. ideally, not to be a patient), then being a “good” patient means acting in ways that serve this goal. If complaining and disagreeing help you get better faster, then by all means go ahead, whether or not it pleases your caregivers.

Most of the time, though, being a good patient involves doing things that help both the patient and the clinician. Here are my top 5:

1. Be honest. Your doctor can help you better if he or she knows what’s really bothering you; how much you really smoke, drink, or eat; whether you’ve stopped taking your medication because of side effects or expense; whether you’re going through a stressful experience that’s affecting your physical health. Write things down or bring a friend or family member to your medical appointment to help you be more thorough in giving (and receiving) information.

2. Be on time. I know, I know … doctors often keep patients waiting, sometimes abominably long. Sometimes this is the doctors’ fault. Sometimes it’s not. One common reason a doctor runs late is that he or she is accommodating patients who arrive late. This can throw a whole day’s schedule out of whack. If you’re stuck in traffic once or twice, okay. If you’re routinely an hour late (yes, this happens) you’re compromising the quality of your (and others’) time with the doctor.

3. Be nice. No one blames someone who’s sick for being a little cranky. But nasty comments to medical assistants and secretaries and casual threats of lawsuits will probably not improve your care and, though they may make you feel a little better in the short term, will likely make you feel rotten later.

4. Be informed. No, it’s not your job to keep track of every last detail of your medical history or, certainly, to know everything there is to know about your medical conditions. But with a little effort, you can be a more effective advocate for yourself. Have a current list of your medications handy, as well as phone numbers of your doctors and pharmacies plus a basic list of your medical problems, surgeries, and allergies. Read about your medical issues and about diet, exercise, and other issues relevant to your health. Websites such as the American Cancer Society and the American Heart Association have tons of information. Understand, though, that everything you read on the Internet (including here!) doesn’t necessarily apply to you individually.

5. Be patient. Yes, pun intended. The word “patient” comes from the Latin term for “one who suffers.” Being a patient and being patient both involve suffering–even if that suffering is simply waiting. Waiting isn’t something we’re very good at anymore. But, more often than we’d like to think, recovery and even correct diagnosis take their own sweet time, ignoring our work schedules, travel plans, discomfort, and … impatience. Talk with your doctor about ways to feel better while you’re waiting to get better.

Be honest, be on time, be nice, be informed, be patient. It’s good advice.

And now, I’m going to try to take it.

Suzanne Koven is an internal medicine physician who blogs at In Practice at Boston.com, where this article originally appeared. She is the author of Say Hello To A Better Body: Weight Loss and Fitness For Women Over 50

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  • houriganterry

    Hi,

    I am a visiting nurse, have been on both sides.

    I have an endocrinologist who has offices in Chinatwon
    (NYC). He is Chinese but very much American.

    If I make a 4:30 appt, I will probably be seen by
    6:45. This isn’t occasional: it’s a pattern you can
    count on. I like him, but I feel like he has no respect
    for anyones’ time. He could have several eighty
    year olds in that office waiting for two hours on a
    routine basis. I wonder if it is a cultural thing he
    Is willing to exploit? 90% of his pt’s are Chinese.

    Do you have any suggestions?. I have expressed
    my disapproval to the staff and to him (with a back
    door smile), gave him a blog about MD’s disrespecting
    Pt’s time, but no change.

    Thank you,

    Terry Hourigan

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/GMIU3BI4QSJZ2IVUC7XKQKXSFI Daniel Beegan

      I suspect you are relatively young. I remember the day when doctors didn’t have appointments. Instead, they had office hours and it was first-come, first-served. On the other hand, the good ones stayed until they saw all their patients, sometimes until 10 p.m. or later for evening hours. Emergencies, of course, took first place over routine complaints.

    • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/OFOBM6WBX437QKFJ4QZLGZIP7E Kimberly Spering

      A consistent two-hour delay is ridiculous.  No disrespect to Mr. Beegan, but age has nothing to do with it.  I remember those days as well.  One suggestion, if possible, is schedule the first AM appt. or first afternoon appt.  His staff should notify patients of delays as well (perhaps they do).

      I’d be curious to know his response to your concerns about the wait…then change practices.

      And yes, I work in Internal Medicine myself, so I understand the realities of running behind.  (smile)

      • houriganterry

        Hi Kimberly,

        Thanks,

        I will let you know.

        Might like to send you something
        Sometime,

        If you don’t mind, could I have an email address for you?

        Thanks,

        Terry

        Subject: [kevinmd] Re: Is a good patient simply one who never complains or disagrees?

  • JPedersenB

    Right!  Are there doctors out there who respect their patient’s time?  I have found a few but it is very difficult to find someone who respects your time and your point of view regarding medical issues.

  • drsharryn

    Great post Suzanne!

    Best consultations where you come to GENUINELY shared decisions. Much more chance patient has bought into the plan then. They also know that ther experiences and views will matter @ their review too – that is hugely important.

    Question me & complain – just do it nicely!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/GMIU3BI4QSJZ2IVUC7XKQKXSFI Daniel Beegan

    I’m a patient who asks my doctor a lot of questions. Fortunately, he welcomes them as he is an educator as well as a practising physician. I am respectful. If I simply can’t get along with a doctor, I fire them. OTOH, until I moved from Maine to Indiana, I saw the same general internist for 15 years, first as a consultant and then as my PCP. Obviously, we got along well. He too enjoyed intelligent questions and I saw no reason to change.

    One thing I do is show up early to appointments, loaded up with an eBook reader. If it is convenient for the doc to see me early, fine. If not I have a quiet place to read.

  • 48906

    I had one of the best Doctors (family practice) in the area. However I could always count on being in the waiting room and the exam room for 3 to 3.5 hours with a personal record of 6 hours (I went out to lunch and came back) I could no longer take it anymore and fired him. I have been very blessed to find another Dr. Who is really the BEST! She is kind, considerate of my time. I really feel we are a team. I also have a Endocrinologist, Cardiologists, Urologist and Nephrologist all because she has referred me out to them because of my diabetes. And I hardly ever have to wait more than a few minutes to see any of my Doctors. On the rare occasion I feel I will be in the waiting room more than an hour. I simply sign in and ask the receptionist if that is the case. If so, I go shopping in the area and they call my cell phone about 15 minutes before I will see the Doctor and I head back to the office. This system has worked very well for everyone.

  • miri280

    My experience with my family practitioner is many times that waiting time is being prolonged not because patients come late but because she takes her patients very seriousely. If that means that she must use longer time than projected for a consultation in order to solve a problem then and there, she does it. I have a lot of repect for her for that because I know that today it’s another patient that is causing a delay, tomorrow it might be me.
    It’s not for nothing that a patient is called a patient!

  • http://profiles.google.com/molly.ciliberti Molly Ciliberti

    Try being a good patient while hospitalized. Was hospitalized for pneumonia and between the 105 fever and the bed soaking sweats, I still tried to behave myself. I apologized for everything in my febrile state which probably was a bit scrambled. Lucky for me, I had very nice and professional nurses, phlebotomists, etc. who took good care of me. When you are truly helpless, you still try to be a good patient which is a bit sad.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tom-Fitzsimmons/1405121136 Tom Fitzsimmons

    Basically this article told me to roll over and cooperate. Hope your arm heals quickly.

  • EmilyAnon

    I think what’s worse than your doctor just running behind is to find out after a 2 hour wait and you’re finally in the exam room, a total stranger substitute comes in.  No warning ahead of time.  It’s awkward at that point to opt out and reschedule as you’re already in your paper gown.  I didn’t complain, but I sure didn’t like being handed off without notification.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Suki-Hoover/100003699872064 Suki Hoover

    I’ve noticed in many doctor’s offices these days signs that state something to the effect of:  Only 2 questions allowed per patient visit.  So, if you have more questions you must make another appointment, pay another copay and wait the ridiculous amount of time (I have waited) just to see the doctor.  A good doctor is so hard to find.  (in my area anyway)  I personally would love to be able to see a holistic doctor(homeopath, naturopath) and use the combination of alternative medicine along with traditional medicine.  I do not like that most doctors today are giving their M.A’s far too much authority with “dosing out information” that they do not know anything about.  I am a seasoned RN that has been given so much misinformation and “diagnosing” via some MA.  It is a shame.  I don’t tell these “office nurses” I am an RN.  Often I am curious to see how far out on the limb they will go.  Pretty far!  Some have read my 12 lead EKG prior to a potential surgery.  Never minding I do have some cardiac issues they claim “your heart looks fine for surgery”  Did I have surgery by that doctor?  No way.  Did I mention it to the office manager?  Yep, yet they claim that is how they do things.  I am terrified to ever need a surgery now.  Doctors today don’t seem to really care about your health.  Then again I understand with their time constraints and poor payment by insurance companies, Medicare etc.  I pity the person that does not have a medical type background today.

    • Maura69

      Suki your statement, “I pity the person that does not have a medical type background today” is so very true. Years ago I was a pre-med student and left to have a baby and just never went back. (So sorry now) I was also a RN. I have found your statement to be absolutely viable and have been very thankful for my medical training all my life. Luckily the physicians that I have seen have respected my knowledge (or lack of) and that I have kept up with Continuing Education. There is massive amounts that I do not know but then again I am able to direct questions to obtain the pertinent answers and treatment.
      Too many of the new (younger) Doctors are afraid to listen to a patient for his/her views and advice that sometimes does have a beneficial knowledge to the outcome. We all need to listen to our patients and not be afraid to discuss openly with them their diagnosis. Patients and Doctors will both benefit.

  • crichardsoncae

    Good list!

    I’d definitely add: be honest about your adherence to the plan and follow-up suggested. If necessary, negotiate–rather than silently ignoring what is difficult, unpleasant, or unworkable for your situation. The health you save may be your own!

  • carolynthomas

    Helpful list of handy hints here, Dr. K.  I hope you’re feeling better and that your term as a patient is
    short-lived – although I suspect that there are few if any medical
    lessons more effective than when a doctor learns firsthand what life is
    like wearing that drafty hospital gown. More on this at: “When
    Doctors Become Patients” –
    http://myheartsisters.org/2011/02/14/doctors-as-patients/

    This ‘be on time’ issue is a bit prickly, however, particularly when you cite the patient who is “routinely an hour late”.  Such a patient would simply not be seen when they come “routinely” waltzing in the door in most doctors’ practices, and it’s hard to believe that a doctor would sit there idly waiting for the latecomer’s arrival rather than going ahead with the next patient waiting. I’d be very surprised to learn that “accommodating patients who arrive late” is actually a key factor in the pervasive problem of cooling one’s heels in the waiting room. 

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