How to talk with your family about end of life care

Like last year, I’m participating in the Engage with Grace blog rally. I’ll be signing off until Monday. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.

Last Thanksgiving weekend, many of us bloggers participated in the first documented “blog rally” to promote Engage With Grace – a movement aimed at having all of us understand and communicate our end-of-life wishes.

It was a great success, with over 100 bloggers in the healthcare space and beyond participating and spreading the word. Plus, it was timed to coincide with a weekend when most of us are with the very people with whom we should be having these tough conversations – our closest friends and family.

Our original mission – to get more and more people talking about their end of life wishes – hasn’t changed. But it’s been quite a year – so we thought this holiday, we’d try something different.

A bit of levity.

At the heart of Engage With Grace are five questions designed to get the conversation started. We’ve included them at the end of this post. They’re not easy questions, but they are important.

To help ease us into these tough questions, and in the spirit of the season, we thought we’d start with five parallel questions that ARE pretty easy to answer:

Silly? Maybe. But it underscores how having a template like this – just five questions in plain, simple language – can deflate some of the complexity, formality and even misnomers that have sometimes surrounded the end-of-life discussion.

So with that, we’ve included the five questions from Engage With Grace below. Think about them, document them, share them.

Over the past year there’s been a lot of discussion around end of life. And we’ve been fortunate to hear a lot of the more uplifting stories, as folks have used these five questions to initiate the conversation.

One man shared how surprised he was to learn that his wife’s preferences were not what he expected. Befitting this holiday, The One Slide now stands sentry on their fridge.

Wishing you and yours a holiday that’s fulfilling in all the right ways.


To learn more please go to www.engagewithgrace.org. This post was written by Alexandra Drane and the Engage With Grace team. If you want to reproduce this post on your blog (or anywhere) you can download a ready-made html version here

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  • http://storytellerdoc.blogspot.com storytellerdoc

    Hello Kevin MD

    Thoroughly enjoyed your last two postings. Very interesting stuff. I will be following.

    I started my own site with a unique perspective on medicine from the human aspect. Check it out if you get a chance.

    Happy Holidays

  • patient x

    re question #1 (let me die in my own bed, WITHOUT any medical intervention):

    Should I be worried that someone might interpret pain medication as medical intervention?

  • AugustFalcon

    For us older, optically challenged folk who routinely request our browsers to please make the tiny type large enough to be legible your post is just a teaser. We will never know what the questions are because that crappy flash or whatever type embed containing the questions refuses to listen to my browser and make itself bigger. Believe it or not my mom is even older than me and now I don’t know what to do because I can’t read the questions because the typeface is too small!

  • concerned, educated patient

    Or just hold down the [Ctrl] key and press the [equal(=)] key. That will make all the fonts larger. Repeat until you can read the text easily.

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