Dating is challenging enough. But when do you tell someone you have cancer or lupus or, in my case, MS? If you meet someone on line, how do you explain you might show up at your first date with a cane? Or a trip to a museum means using a wheelchair? Do you wait until you feel a connection and then seem as though you have been deceptive? Or are you upfront from the start only to see prospects bail? Even though it is hard, I tell from the beginning, it’s the only way I can operate.

You never want to assume a date means forever after, but you wonder what goes through your date’s mind? How they might get ‘stuck’ taking care of you? How much work it is manipulating a wheelchair in and out of a car and small spaces? How suddenly a walking, healthy person seems heaps more attractive and low maintenance?

A chronic or serious illness just magnifies any insecurities you have. I am smart and funny and kind but…am I worth the effort? To parphrase Seinfeld, am I purse worthy?

Love your blog, incidentally — good luck with it all!

Robin Schoenthaler, MD