Some say the Miss Manners approach to parenting is outdated.
But rename “manners” to “social skills,” a popular buzzward in autism circles, and things change. Pediatrician Perri Klass wonders about some of the rude kids she sees, “and when you are in the exam room with a child who seems to have [no manners], you begin to wonder what is going on at home and at school, and questions of family dysfunction or neurodevelopmental problems begin to cross your mind.”
So yes, pediatricians should absolutely care about children’s manners.
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If a child’s manners are congruent with the parents, the social skills are less likely to mean something to me than if child and parents behavior don’t match. One example I can think of is a meek mother with a mouthy child – makes me wonder where this child learned to talk to other adults like he or she does. Is the parent in a healthy relationship or is there some sort of abuse taking place that the child is parroting back. So yes, manners are another barometer for physicians to guage the mental and emotional health of a patient.
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