Half MD: Archaeologists discover witch doctor’s house

The following is a reader take by Half MD.

Archaeologists this week have discovered an ancient Indian enclave in what is now rural Mississippi. Called the Click Creek Indians — this particular organization seems to have been wiped out many hundreds of years ago, but left behind a vast library with which scientists were able to piece together their final history. This tribe was well advanced and used a written language etched into leather and papyrus to keep track of the days’ events.

This society believed in the transportation of currency and used animal skins and shells to purchase goods and services. To have wealth meant to accumulate animal body parts. At the highest rungs of the economic ladder people would display their body parts within their homes. This practice of exhibiting animal parts was so popular that it continues to this day amongst the modern inhabitants of Mississippi.

Within this location there lived a witch doctor by the name of Kisni who had spent many years studying the ancient arts of herbalism and spiritual healing. By crushing together mushrooms he could cure gangrene. His meditations could relieve headaches. And his various potions could alleviate all manner of GI upset. He was the best in the region and his skill commanded a hefty fee.

One day a local farmer by the name of Stimu visited the witch doctor in hopes of finding a cure for his sore throat. Kisni agreed to take the case, examined the man’s neck, and said that he could heal it at the costs of three shells. Stimu recoiled in anger and stated that he shouldn’t have to pay the fee. “Witchcraft is a right that everyone deserves! You are just being greedy with something that’s so important.” He then stormed out of the hut and gathered his neighbors.

He convinced them that knowledge about herbs and potions should be freely available to everyone and that the people who supply the mushrooms and plants were in a conspiracy to drive up prices. Together they sought out the nation’s warlord to force the witch doctor to treat the inhabitants for free. The warlord listened to stories of people who have been turned away by the witch doctor. He heard of a child who was forced to live with a splinter in his hand because his parents could not provide a raccoon’s tale. He heard of a man who almost died of heat exhaustion because he could not afford a cooling elixir. The warlord grabbed his fighting stick and shouted, “I’ll force the witch doctor to give away his witchcraft for free. If he doesn’t, I’ll whoop him.”

Together they banded and preceded to the witch doctor’s hut. The warlord ordered Kisni to provide free care to everyone, regardless of ability to pay. The doctor replied, “I spent so many thousands of shells and skins trying to earn my education. I simply cannot give away witchcraft for free. I’ll be forced to leave this region if you continue with your demands.”

When it finally became apparent that the witch doctor would not be able to live under the warlord’s demands, he packed his things up and fled to live with a nearby tribe. Eventually the Click Creek Indians succumbed to infection. Without the witch doctor’s presence to heal them, they all died from disease. All that’s left of them are their leather and papyrus writings.

Half MD is a medical student that blogs at Half MD.com.

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  • Furious Buddha

    Half MD-
    Obviously, this self-serving tale is supposed to be a parable of some sort. If you’re going to make fictions that shore up your version of reality, you should try to get the details right. At the very least, papyrus was never used in the Americas. Also, ‘witch doctor’ is a culturally inappropriate term for a ‘medicine man’. Your description of the economic relationship between the medicine man and the people he served demonstrates complete ignorance on your part about how these relationships actually worked. Stick to cashing your giant paychecks for now rather than justifying why you deserve them.
    Winston Delgado

  • Anonymous

    In looking at the parable as a tool for seeing dfficulties we have today…i think you should at least mention the previous agreement that the witchdoctor would have had with the warlord to forbid anyone else from practicing voodoo unless they paid their dues and respects to the order of witchdoctors.

    mike

  • Anonymous

    If Ayn Rand were to write Atlas Shrugged 2 it would probably be entitled “Hippocrates Hiccoughed”. The witch doctor story is essentially that of Atlas Shrugged.

  • Anonymous

    I’d have to agree with my other anon brother about the whole ‘paying dues’ thing. I’m an fp resident and a strong advocate for the free market, less government is better approach to health care… But the one thing that always seems to sink my argument before I can really let it set sail is our monopoly on the prescribing of meds… Not to mention the countless barriers we as medical professionals put up to thawrt competition. We set up monopolies, artificially supress competition, and then cry when somebody tries to regulate us. If someone has a valid answer to this point (maybe the author of the original post could chime in) I’d love to hear it. I need something to rile my amsa buddies up.

  • Adam Smasher

    For what its worth, I take Half MD’s side on the issue, but this was a pretty bad piece. I think the nutty lady below wins, and this goes to show how serious we have to be if we want to hold back the socialists.

    1) Analogies do not make for logically coherent arguments. Delgado is right, this is not a parallel description of the current state of medical economics.

    2) Libs claim that their utopian schemes don’t intend to enslave doctors as your fictional witch doctor was. You instead need to illustrate how their utopian schemes will make slaves of everyone, through higher taxes, longer lines, and increased rules and regulations.

  • Anonymous

    What monopoly?

    From where I sit in outpatient psychiatry, I don’t see any monopoly. Legally allowed to provide psychotherapy services or something purported to be so are psychologists, social workers, liscense professional counselors, marriage and family counselors, substance abuse counselors, gambling couselors, nurse therapists, pastoral counselors, and more. Legally allowed to prescribe the drugs that I prescribe are other liscensed allopathic physicians, osteopaths, nurse practitioners, and now, in 2 states, psychologists–who have no natural science/biology background and yet are allowed this authority after a series of weekend classes! I am 100% dependent on my ability to provide a more valuable service than this extensive competition.

    I would have some “rent protection” if I were doing inpatient work but that is not my calling.

    I don’t mind the competition. It keeps me on my toes. I pity the patients who are exploited and harmed when they overestimate the assurance provided by the state sanction of liscensure–in some cases it is liscensure of the ignorant by the ignorant. It does keep me on my toes.

    I resent however when people play the “monopoly” card because it simply doesn’t exist for me.

    It is also why I, along with most psychiatrists in the outpatient setting, don’t feel or can’t afford to indulge a sense of ownership of the system and obligation to make it work or everyone. For every one of us there are 10 competitors (many of whom mislead the more limited patients into thinking that they are actually physicians) who rather than trying to give something back, are making every effort to skim the cream right off our backs, leaving us with nothing but the uninsured, Medicare, and Medicaid if are mindless of what is going on.

  • J. Rhoads

    Re: “Hippocrates Hiccoughed.” Clever and amusing title, although given the scale of what advocates of socialized medicine are proposing, I’m afraid we’d need an even stronger verb than hiccough.

    To give a quotation relevant to the theme of this parable: “Men have been taught that the highest virtue is not to achieve, but to give. Yet one cannot give that which has not been created. Creation comes before distribution–or there will be nothing to distribute. The need of the creator comes before the need of any possible beneficiary.”

    - Ayn Rand, “The Soul of an Individualist,” For the New Intellectual.

    Of course, what a creator needs is not a government research grant, special treatment, or protection; it’s independence (i.e. freedom).

    For those interested, the Ayn Rand Lexicon has recently come online for free (aynrandlexicon.com). Also, if you are a medical student, see The Lucidicus Project (Lucidicus.org).

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