There is a reluctance to go, writes a physician in the BMJ:
“There’s a bit of a reluctance to go,” the author, Bruce Arroll of the University of Auckland, told the Health Blog in a phone interview yesterday. “You may not know many people there. You may not think it’s appropriate. But I think the opposite “” the family is honored that you’re there.”
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{ 3 comments }
Some people feel a connection to a patient and others don’t. Professional detatchment is a necessary psychologic defence that can inhibit participating in the greiving process. Many docs also take any death as a personal failure; this is of course a rediculous view, as all patients are destined to die, and much care is centered on helping them arrive there late, but with success defined as high function and low pain in the process.
Even as an anesthesiologist myself I’ve attended services for patients.
Maybe n a city,you can be aonymous and go to selected sevices”,but in rural practice if you go to one you have to go to all,or families will be upset. Its much better to send a note or make a personal call.
When my child died mysteriously during a simple procedure, I longed for a note, a flower, a call from one of his caregivers who was with him in his last moments of life. We received nothing. Attending one of the services would have been the most significant gesture that he mattered to them…
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