Should it be suppressed? Medpundit on patients who complain:
Constructive criticism isn’t a fault, but constant complaining for the sake of complaining is. We see this a lot in medicine- patients who refuse or reject every treatment recommendation for a specific complaint but then continue to return with the same complaint. All treatment options have been exhausted, and still the complaints continue. It’s usually at that point that the realization hits that all they want is someone to listen to them. Once in a rare while someone will say right at the outset, before the mega-work up – “I don’t want you to do anything about it. I just want to complain,” but that takes a degree of self-awareness that’s extremely rare.
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{ 3 comments }
The thing is, not all complaining is alike.
Whining, complaining for sympathy with the hope that the sympathizer will relieve us of responsibility with no intent to improve ones understanding or coping is counterproductive and, when directed at me, annoying as hell.
Then there is projective complaining. Complaining as a way of weaving a story of our misfortunes in which we are helpless victims. Very counterproductive.
Procratination complaining. Complaining to forestall action.
Then, there is a certain kind of productive complaining. Complaining to hear ourselves explain the problem outline, and come to understand it and our own management of it as we hear ourselves talk. Can be very useful.
Affiliative complaining. Complaining about genuine suffering to rellieve the sense of alienation and aloneness, to one of the few human beings who will actually listen with interest. It can be a morale shot in the arm when discouraged. I think people who upfront say they just want to complain is asking for that. They recognize that the problem, even if insoluble, is theirs to own and not putting it on you or asking for answers.
Physicians complain and whine incessantly, and they want to chastise PATIENTS?
Be serious.
Complaining can be cathartic. Sometimes we just feel like we need to be heard, and know that someone feels the same way we do, even if the person who agrees wasn’t the one to make the complaint.
For those who need a place to vent frustrations, rather than keep it ‘bottled up inside’ (which has been universally accepted as being unhealthy), try – a community where we lend an empathetic ear when it seems no one else will — where you know you’re not alone in your daily frustrations, whether your frustrations are about health, family, work, or events happening in the world. It’s a healing process, and helps prevent people from lashing out in other, potentially dangerous/illegal, ways.
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