"Tragedy doesn’t have a tablet to cure it"

A story of a tragic psychiatric case on the wards:

To simply say this woman is depressed, to attempt to medicalise the enormity of what she is experiencing, is not helpful. How can medicine cure this situation? How is anyone ever going to make this better? For some people, life is just too painful and sometimes there’s no simple answer.

Comments

beajerry
That’s a tough situation. I hate to think of what she’d be subjected to if she lived in America.
Anonymous
You hate to think of what she would be subjected to if she lived in America?
What, have we all become monster’s? Would we deliberately add to this womans pain? Maybe YOU and the people you assosciate with would. Nobody I know would.
I can’t believe a Drs. answer to this is to just walk out of the room. I don’t know the answer here but I’m not a trained psych doctor.
He just the same as told her “go kill yourself.” She is in great pain! I’m damn sorry doctors don’t know how to treat that.
I’m very worried about this generation of physicians!
Anonymous
Anon 3:29 what would you rather the dr. have done? Force her to attend group therapy?
Anonymous
I said i wasn’t a psych doctor. But, how any doctor could feel good about just walking out of that room is beyond me.
How could he call it “not depressed?”
She obviously needs to talk. And talk and talk some more. Maybe the reason she wasn’t successful at her suicide attempt is because she really didn’t want to be successful? There are ways when one WANTS to do that that it’s a given fact you will accomplish the goal.
Too many things here that aren’t disclosed. How did she get to the ER? Did she at the last minute call 911 for herself? If so thats pretty telling in itself. Did she call someone else and tell them what she had done?
Don’t you think doctors have to be smarter than the words they are hearing. If ever (in my layperson’s opinion) I heard anyone sounding more depressed I can’t recall it.
I agree and I don’t blame any doc who wouldn’t have answer’s for this. But admit it (like the first doc did) and have someone more experienced or more focued on these kind of tradgedies take over.
Your remark about group therapy is offensive. WTF is group therapy going to do for her at this point?
I don’t know, you’re the doc not me. You tell me what he should have done. All I know is I wouldn’t have turned my back and walked away.
Anonymous
I guess he wasn’t kidding when he said “I want my sandwich” I hope it was still warm when he got back to it.
Greg P
Things are always more complicated than a 15-minute recapitulation of an awful story.
Being in medicine, and some other fields that deal with this kind of patient, isn’t a matter of hearing a sad story, making a pronouncement of justifiable suicide, then leaving a loaded gun at the bedside.
This woman does need to talk about this.
If nothing else, about the fact that, in spite of all the potential time planning this, the stated intent to complete the act, she in the end does a miserable job of it.
Why is that?
RJS
Sometimes there is no answer. Not everything can be cured. In that woman’s position, it seems perfectly rational to me to want to die. It would be a small bit of mercy.
The doctor did everything he could do. You CANNOT make someone want to live.
“Maybe the reason she wasn’t successful at her suicide attempt is because she really didn’t want to be successful?”
Her friend found her. Overdosing (on certain things) can be relatively painless. And it’ll at least let you die so you can have an open coffin, as opposed to, for instance, blowing your brains out. In the UK, in any case, it’s MUCH more difficult to get one’s hands on a firearm anyway. That option is legitimately ruled out.
That leaves… what? Really. Hanging? Surprisingly difficult to do, and certainly not a sure thing. Most people that are suicidal want to leave peacefully.
“All I know is I wouldn’t have turned my back and walked away.”
I would have, and I’m not a doc. But I am a human being, and I relate to her as a fellow human being. Sometimes there is just nothing you can do.
Why people refuse to accept this, I don’t know.
“she in the end does a miserable job of it. Why is that?”
But she didn’t. Her friend found her. Very probably if said friend hadn’t found her, she would have succeeded. Because of that, I don’t see it as a failed suicide.
This woman is just going to do it again. And she will succeed next time. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is just let someone go who doesn’t want to be here anymore.
I almost want to follow this woman’s story and when she finally does off herself say “See? I told you so.” I believe she truly does want to die, and that this wouldn’t have been a failed suicide had her friend not intervened.
All this nonsense of “Oh I’m not a doctor” is complete BS. You’re a human being, you can at least relate to her on that level. Here’s a shocker: not everything in life can be solved. Not everything has an “answer.” Not in medicine, not in anything. What would you have done? No bullshit “I’m not a doc, I don’t have to think! I just wanna be a retarded knee-jerk reactionist who thinks “something” — whatever the fuck that means — should have been done.”
You come up with that something. Relate to her as a human being. Not from a doctor-patient point-of-view. From that perspective, I think you’ll find a dearth of realistic possibilities.
Anonymous
RJS, You’re right I’am a human being and i do relate to her. ALthough, I couldn’t possibly understand how she feels.
I’m sorry you feel she has nothing left to qualify her as human anymore. Actually, your post makes me think of something one would read in a James Patterson book and not on a website while talking about REAL people.
Maybe she could become some big wonderful advocate of driver safety and tell her story. That story would get folks attention and make then more careful of driving habits.
We atleast know she has one good friend. So, if nothing else she has that in her corner.
I agree, if I was in her position I surely would want to die also. She would be a medical challenge. But I would think real doctors could be up for a challenge and not just desert someone when they need help the most.
I don’t get where your reference of me not having human feelings are coming from? I don’t believe in euthanasia if that’s what you’re refering too. She didn’t die with the rest of her family for some reason. She needs intense therapy to find that reason.
Without knowing almost any of the facts you have condemned this woman and sentenced her to death. Who the hell are you to think you have that right?
Anonymous
RJS, you’re asking me to give answer’s that you already know I don’t have. I don’t having fucking 12 years of medical training to give me those answers. You are disgusting!
Death for this woman at this point is the easy answer, making her want to stay alive is the challenge. I’m sorry you don’t think she deserves that.
you’re comment about oberdose letting someone die so they can atleast have an open coffin is laughable. Do you think she gives a shit about that? “Yes, I want to kill myself but let me do it in a way I can look good while I’m laying there dead.” Give me a break!
Anonymous
I think I would tell her very strongly that if she kills herself, she is going to hell. “No chance of seeing your family ever again if you are in hell.” Then help her become productive again and when her time if up then she gets to be reunited with her loved ones. “It’s your only chance!” All she wants is to punish herself and be with her family. Tell her there is only one way for that to happen. Suicide isn’t it..
Anonymous
There are good and bad points made here. I mainly agree with anon 9:00.
RJS said the doctor did everything he could do. If that is so, where is it referenced at? I didn’t read where he did anything at all, except talk to her for a couple minutes.
Look, the only person we have all heard of to even make a slight comparison to is John Walsh. When his 6 yr. old was stolen from a mall and later found decapitated do you think he or his wife wanted to continue living? He has said he didn’t. I think he wanted to do two things, commit murder and then kill himself. He and his wife both felt terrible guilt over their child (only child at that time) being kidnapped basically from in front his wife’s eyes.
Look where John Walsh is at today and what he has contributed to society. Should he have been told to go kill himself at his lowest point? I don’t think so.
If I couldn’t get through to this woman then I would use all available resources. Doe she have siblings or parents to help her? If so, use them. If not then I would find that friend and use her. Find someone who she will listen too, if not yourself, and coach them.
Anonymous
This is such a tragic case.
It was an accident, yet this pt.feels responsible for it,and guilty for being alive. It would have been great if someone could remind her “she” is not in charge. It was an accident, and her life has meaning she can’t know of at this pt. It isn’t up to her who lives and survives these tragedies. Such a burden this poor woman is carrying.
Anonymous
RJS, that “knee-jerk” comment is getting real old. I know alot of people use that expression because it seems (in their mind) to make them sound cool. It is a pseudonym that is used when someone can’t think of proper words to say.
If you visit the political sites you will hear it used all the time by the radicals of each side. All day long they go back and forth with “In answer to your “knee-jerk” remark”. It’s really gotten sickening.
beajerry
I agree with anonymous:
“It was an accident, yet this pt.feels responsible for it,and guilty for being alive. It would have been great if someone could remind her “she” is not in charge. It was an accident, and her life has meaning she can’t know of at this pt. It isn’t up to her who lives and survives these tragedies. Such a burden this poor woman is carrying.”
The person who responded to my first comment thinks there’s an immediate treatment. There isn’t. There’s compassion, there’s keeping the person safe from harm, there are hints of hope. Breaking through the woman’s despair is a fine art that takes time and diligence.
What I suggested about the American system is that a hammer (drugs, involuntary hospitalization) would’ve rained down the poor woman when she probably needs more of a little time, space, and talking.
America’s quick-fix mentality butchers such things oftentimes.
Anonymous
I DO NOT think there is an immediate answer. I think the doctor seeing her thought there should be an immediate answer. I was responding to your comments stating how you perceived she would be treated by Americans. Show me where I gave even one hint that there should be an immediate fix. You can’t, because I didn’t!
I think it will take a very long time for this woman to ever see the sun shine again. I’m just not ready to agree that someone should commit suicide just because they are a difficult case.
Anonymous
I can’t understand why people are slamming this doctor. I’m not a physician and I thought he DID show compassion to her. He came and he listened. If a patient isn’t comfortable enough to talk to a doctor, then they won’t. Obviously she felt comfortable enough to talk to him. If I were dealing with a horrible tragedy I would much prefer his quiet approach to someone who came and fed me a bunch of platitudes. There ISN’T a pill that will erase the pain of losing her entire family. I think committing her involuntarily to a psych facility would likely make her even more despondent.