This doctor-as-patient doesn’t feel comfortable when his physician calls him by his first name:
I like calling patients by their surnames. To my mind, it gives an immediate message of respect and also helps keep a suitable emotional distance – both for me and them.It occurs to me that we’ve mistaken being caring for being intimate. But as I discovered, when your trousers are round your ankles, you don’t want your doctor to be any more intimate than is necessary.
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The doctor is obviously not familiar with the US corporate culture. In most of the companies employees address each other and their managers by the first name – doesn’t mean any extra degree of familiarity. If a CEO of a forutune 500 company sends a note to everyone and signs it as “Sam” doesn’t imply any degree of intimacy. He can still fire each and everyone of us. Of course we are dressed unlike in a doctor’s office, but still – after 20 years of being addressed by the first name by everyone (including your CEO as well as a 20-year old summer student) you stop reading anything into it.
Funny how this is a one-way street. I don’t think my doctor would take it very well if I called him by his first name; he’d probably think it was disrespectful and/or overly familiar.
I think physicians should address the patient in the manner in which the patient wishes to be addressed. If you don’t know, ask. Most people don’t mind telling you and will appreciate the opportunity to state their preference.
In my basic EMT class we’re taught to address patients with a Mr. or Mrs. and then wait for them to correct us with something less formal. That works for me.
Yes, it goes both ways. I’m always amused by the parent in the power-suit who wishes to address all of his child’s physicians by first name, even as we continue to address him using the proper honorific. I figure it’s just his way of trying to exert some personal control in a situation where he feels powerless.
Ah … reason #267 why I chose pediatrics. Timmy or Susy or Jane. Buddy or Sweetheart or Beautify. Three year olds rarely care what you call them. The only time I’ve gotten in trouble was calling the cute little girl a cute litte boy (or vice versa).
‘m always amused by the parent in the power-suit who wishes to address all of his child’s physicians by first name, even as we continue to address him using the proper honorific.
Have you ever thought it could be cultural differences? Kind of like you are in a different country, only in this case his “country” is his place of work. The guy in a power suit probably comes from work environment in which everyone addresses everyone else by the first name – be it a secretary, a manager or a scientist with a Nobel prize. I am not saying it is right or wrong, it just is – I work in a research lab of a fortune 500 company where a secretary always addresses a senior manager or a director (who is likely to have a PhD and may even be a world-renown researcher) not as Dr X but as “Dan” or “Steve” and he calls her Lynn. So your patient may simply have problems breaking his habits.
Mind you, I never address my doctor in any way but “doctor” and outside of work I usually try to take a clue from a person I speak with. But then in my native language there are different pronouns for familiar and polite and not just “you” so I grew up with “familiar” and “polite”; Americans often assume that whatever they are used to is appropriate everywhere. Be it a doctor’s office or a different country.
So next time someone calls you by your first name – think of him/her as of a “barbarian”. Most likely he/she is just stupid rather than consciously disrespectful.
In Europe, in most languages we have a polite way of communication. This includes using ‘you’ as a mean of respect where it becomes You instead. It is coupled with Mr. and Mrs.. In North America, well some people think they can call me by my first name, then I should think I should be able to grab their genitals. This is how wrong this is. If some CEOs are doing it this is only sign of their low class and inadequacy. Not only do you people do not have polite language patterns but you also avoid using Mr. And Mrs. and then you wonder why the world laughs at you. This is why.
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