“Dark Chocolate Helps Counter Heart Damage from Smoking”

“A new Swiss study [Swiss? That’s like Greenland doing a study on snow…] finds a little dark chocolate each day could slow hardening of the arteries in smokers.”

It appears that they had male smokers abstain from any food items rich in antioxidants for one day, then had them eat 1.5 ounces of either white or dark chocolate. Two hours later ultrasounds and blood tests showed that those who ingested the dark chocolate had higher levels of antioxidants, reduced platelet activity and “improved smoothness of the blood flow through the arteries.” Not only that, an earlier study showed dark chocolate can help lower blood pressure.

“Get the wheelbarrow out, Mother – I’m going to the candy store to finally start taking care of myself!

“As long as I’m going I might as well pick up another carton of smokes, too.”

[Editor’s Note: 1.5 ounces of dark chocolate? Are they kidding me? That’s how much I consume per minute. That’s like tossing a Siberian tiger a cocktail wiener and saying “Bon appetit!” while running for one’s life!]